I don't know about ya'll but I'm pretty dern happy Feb is over!
So, my rant is about feb. The yukiest, most dismal month of the year. All I wanted to do was stay inside, and play indoor games [sewing and stuff]. I didn't, but it's what I wanted to do.

 

Not a rant so much as a venting about family changes. It started Tuesday, when I got home from a ladies Bible study with friends..to learn that the pastor that married dh and I, had died that morning. We had strong ties with him and his family, since his kids were in school and scouts with us, and through the magic of FB, we were back in touch. Then, later that afternoon, I learned that things were quickly falling apart with my eldest son's marriage..so much so, that dh and his son moved back in with us yesterday. They plan to seek an uncontested divorce. The rest of us are hoping she doesn't try anything fishy, such as calling her friend or mom to come get her, and trying to run off with the son.

 

Ok, I seldom rant here but here's my rant.

People who take advantage while giving nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in return. Mooches, leeches, and I'll call it what it is in this particular situation--government teat suckers who could work but won't.

Someone I know called me this morning wanting me to drive him on a 110 mile round trip so he could take some birthday presents to his young grandchild. This guy is legally blind, should not be driving but still is because his driver's license isn't expired and won't be for another year or so. He has no vehicle that will run because they are wrecked, dented and bashed all the way around the car. Bumper hanging off, windows broke--that kind of crap. But never his fault--someone ran into him, a deer ran out, someone hit his car on the parking lot, it's all lies.. He can't see to drive and should not be on the road.

Guy has been on disability for 30 years. 30 freaking years. He's had gluacoma for 30 years and yet has had a drivers' license the whole time because he had enough vision to legally drive. BUT.

He couldnt' work. Couldn't find a job anywhere, doing anything, in all those 30 years. HAD to get disability even though he'd drive himself everywhere, even out of state, went hunting (!!!!!) and fishing and built a house and on and on. BUT.

He couldn't work a job. Because he had glaucoma.

Even though I personally know of two people who have no vision whatsoever and who see nothing but black. And guess what? They have jobs. They work. They always have and are proud of the fact. They're not sucking the government teat, they are providing for themselves.

But not this guy. He can't work. Well now his vision IS getting so bad he can't drive very far, and probably IMO should not be driving at all. He's a danger to other people.

Calls me up this morning and wants a ride, 100+ mile round trip. I said no. One reason why I said no? Because in all the years I helped him do things, taken him places, he has never once done anything in return. There were a couple times I really could have used his help in emergency situations. I called him twice when I really, really needed someone's help. But he said he had something he had to do, both times, and I later found out he did nothing those days but stay home. He's never even offered gas money from his precious 'paycheck' as he calls his disability payment. Sucking that teat all these years, living his life doing whatever he wants at taxpayer expense. Tooting around all day having fun, because "he can't work".

So the axe fell on him today. "No, sorry, I can't take you to take gifts to your grandchild. You can put them in the mail, but I can't take you. I've got something I have to do today".

I'm sitting here in front of the computer, eating cold pizza, and I'm going to work on my quilt squares all day. I'm not going to carry him places anymore while at the same time paying my taxes so he can mess around all day doing nothing and not helping anyone else in return.

Next time he calls (and I bet he will), I'm not going to answer the phone.

 

TXHannah, I salute you!!!!

 

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!---19 days......................3hours.........per an app I found. And counting. In case you were wondering. ........SPRING. that is my rant. About this snow. Does anyone know where the off switch is???? Agree with above posters on their rant.

 

I like the snow. I just get sooooooooooo frustrated with &%*!!! that can't drive in it.

 

I like winter. I really do. It's a great break from the summer and fall heat. But I'm tired of it too, and am ready for nice slightly warm-ish spring weather.

It's a hard time of year for me, suppose it always will be, but I'm eager for it nonetheless.

There is a redbud tree in my back woods, and it's just starting to show a little of that lavender color.

 

tiz a season for everything, and im about done with winter. I stay old school on the seasonal calander, so March 1 is my start of spring, !!!!
had the boat tuned up, got the new kayak hanging on the wall out back,
New indoor gun range opened a short drive away, migt go check it out today, get a new scope zero'ed in. nothing like burning powder and slinging lead to chase the doldrums away.
snow & drivers. yep, people are maroons. two wheel drive and all season tires make not a snow vehicle.
ive been involved in snow removal every bit of 30 years. dealing with the cars stuck sideways in the lots we clear is a nightmare. on the roads, its worse, one would think, at some point, they would learn.
the only thing worse, is after the snow, cars parked 3 feet off the curb, three lane streets down to one lane,cars and snow piles on both sides, and everyone decides its time to take a walk around town, directly down the middle of the street. and heaven forbid, that they will move to the side, into a snow drift, to let a vehicle pass.
oh well, snow season end is in sight, get the plows off the trucks, put up the blowers and trailers, wash off the salts, and get ready for warmer weather, spring fishing and gobbler season.
here we goooooo !!!!!!!!

 

snow & drivers. yep, people are maroons. two wheel drive and all season tires make not a snow vehicle.
ive been involved in snow removal every bit of 30 years. dealing with the cars stuck sideways in the lots we clear is a nightmare. on the roads, its worse, one would think, at some point, they would learn.
the only thing worse, is after the snow, cars parked 3 feet off the curb, three lane streets down to one lane,cars and snow piles on both sides, and everyone decides its time to take a walk around town, directly down the middle of the street. and heaven forbid, that they will move to the side, into a snow drift, to let a vehicle pass.

Some places run tow trucks in front of the plows and yank/tow anything/everything in the way. Funny to see people slipping/sliding/falling as they try to chase down the tow truck that just towed their illegally parked car : : :

Never owned a 4-wheel drive. Never needed one. But.... I grew up in the far north and grew up learning how to drive in the snow and ice... never got stuck or had an accident. Stay out of the way of the plows and emergency vehicles (and idiots) and shovel everything right away (and help neighbors). Most importantly, know the limitations of the vehicle and drive (or not drive) accordingly (but never missed or was late to work due to snow/ice).

Some of the worst morons have 4-wheel drives... too fast for conditions and can't stop or steer.

LilRedNeckGirl--Thank you for plowing the snow and making a lot of lives a lot easier and safer!

 

let me see.
daughter out of prison went to transitional housing.it helped her get back into the world .
she could have gone to this place that cost 400$ a month.a clean and sober place and she could of had her children come there too.
so she acts like shes loosing her mind.i take her to the e.r.
next thing i know...the social worker is asking me if she can live at my house for 10 days whilst she goes to mental health classes.so it was never ten days.it was like a month of me hauling 34 yr old daughter clean to the big city in going to work heavy grid traffic daily for a month on our dime for gas when gasoline was so costly.
she got jobs.she got on medication.she quit jobs.good jobs.and then later i found out she never took the medicatioins.
i stood by her.took her to the e.r. every week just like i have all her life for all her problems.one time she comes dragging up with a huge swollen face.staph.i take her to the e.r.
i take her to her court dates.i get her kids here so they can reunite.i take her to temp service and sit in the truck an hour whilst shes in there getting yet another job.i take her out of town to all these far away temp services she wants to go to.
we let her sit here a week and rest and smoke up the misters smokes.we feed her .we let her sleep all she wants...for one whole week.
then she tells us that was the happiest week of her life.
reality check.she needs a job to repay the state 8000$ restitution.they told her she could do community service.she could be alone and work alone inside and pay off 1,230$.i would have been doing that to get my bill down.
nope.she never did.
then she said ok.u guys have been nice enough.the po approved a place for me to stay.so she lied on that.and goes over there.
soo.then i find out later from her...its not approved.
then she goes and enrolls in schooling for a day.or two.quits.
tells me she is broken.something inside her is broken.i am thinking "oh no.u arent broken.i am broken.i am the one who should be broken!; i am thinking u are broken?try being in your middle 60s.i am the broken one...but i am not.
so...now of course she is in hidind from the cops.
all our grown kids have had ten years to know we are moving to the woods in retirement.we have gotten daughter an apt.she never even was gonna stay there.she never even tried to be there.for a month or two.
we gave all our tax return to make her be ok.set her up in an apt.this was before prison.so now i am telling her.the cops drive by here.they come to my door.crime and drugs and stealing.not my kind of life.
soo...we are enablers.so i would still help her cause God says.cause she is our blood.
i am trying to tell her to send someone over to get her stuff cause we cant haul it all to the woods.i love her i say to her.i say u are dedicated to God.he loves u more than sinful me.she says "now isnt this meaningful.i am scared ****less and have no one.aint life interesting?!.i say i dont get u .i have done everything.what have u done? what has she done?nothing.
why have i done this?trying to be a good mom.
i have been packing up our house since after xmas.hauling boxes and cleaning this place to sell.trying to sort thru stuff.trying to live a decent life.
i dont have time for Malingering .

 

Cabingal, I'm going to say something that's going to sound cruel, but I bet I'm not the only one who has said it to you.

You need to stop enabling your daughter even though you believe it's what God wants. You're not helping your daughter and you're ruining your own life.

Sometimes love is tough as hell, and maybe your daughter needs help YOU can't provide for her. It sounds as if she is in dire need of round the clock professional care even if it is in a prison environment.

It may end up saving her life, and yours too.

God bless you, but I guarantee He doesn't want you AND your daughter to suffer.

 

cabinagl, I had to kick my son out for less. He had some unsavory friends, and it was just me and my daughter and him living there. She was only 12, and I worked 2 jobs. I told him he had to be in, and have his friends gone for the night at 9pm. I had to go to bed, and didn't allow non family in my house while I was getting ready for bed, and/or sleeping.
He was ok with that for the most part, but some stuff [over 50 DVD's] turned up missing from my bedroom the day before he turned 18. I was so mad, because these were DVD's I bought for our family movie nights, and I felt violated because they were in my bedroom.
So, the next day, I kicked him out. I told him the only locks I would ever have in my house would be on the outside. I told him me and my 12 year old girl will NOT live in a house without trust and peace. It was 6 degrees out that day in December, and off he went walking, with only the clothes on his back.
I cried as soon as he hit the street.
and I cleaned his room. I loaded an entire garbage bag of socks, mostly mine because he was too lazy to wash, fold and put away his own, so he'd been taking mine for years. I kept having to buy more for me, cuz mine were always missing. I didn't even wash these. There was too many. I cleaned much of his room with a shovel, and lost count at 14 contractors garbage bags. There was stuff between the bed and the wall, under the bed, ect. I cried the whole time I cleaned it, and I cried every night for a coupla weeks.
and I watched the news, hoping and praying I wouldn't see him on it.
He did get a job, and a car, and seemed to be ok for awhile.
I got married that spring, and few years later, he was back where he started - jobless and his car had been repo'ed. I let him eat dinner and crash on our couch at our new house. I got him a job, and took him to work every day using up my entire part time check in gas. I helped him get a car, and paid off his tickets so he could have his license. It was like pulling teeth, but after 6 months, he had the trifecta of a good start: drivers license, car, and job. I figured my husband had been very generous not to threaten me with devorce, and it was time to get our own lives back on track, so I had to tell him it was time to leave.
He left and was found sleeping in his car at a 24 hour grocery store - with an opened bottle of liquor. He wasn't drinking it, or driving, and the cops knew it, so they asked him if he had anyone he could call that would come and pick him up and he told them no.
The cops had no choice but to haul him in.
Did I get his car out of impound? Nope.
Honestly I was relieved to know that he had a 'home' for 90 days.
I did visit him, and write him. He did his 90 days, and came straight to my house when he got out. I told him we only had one car between us [hubby's work had been so slow, and we were so broke] and there wasn't anything I could do for him here. He needed to live near the city so he could get his GED, and get on his feet. I couldn't drive him anywhere because I took the car to work in the am, and Hubby took it when I got home to work the afternoon shift. [funny thing a job we had lined up for him months before became available while he was in jail, and when they called for him, my Husband took it] Hubby and me gave him his final ride to the city to get him a state ID with my last $12, so he could get some help, and when asked where he wanted to go next, he said "right here" so we left him in the parking lot of the secratary of states office. He had the nerve to be mad at us, and blames my husband, for me forcing him to be on his own.
I ain't mad at him, even though he went to my old house before I could sell it, and did so much damage, I was forced to let it go into forclosure. We simply couldn't afford to repair it, and if we filed an insurance claim, he'd have been arrested.
I still love him, and harbor no ill feelings.
He got married about 2 years ago, but hasn't spoken to me since that day he got out of jail and found out I couldn't let him drag us down any further that we already were.

and that is why ya'll hear me speak of "Brat" [my daughter], but not much of my Son. I do love him, and I think he is doing well, but I know he wouldn't be where he is, if I'd have let him live on my couch forever. He should be greatful, but he isn't. He is still mad.
That's too bad, because I wouldn't be where I am if I let him drag us down further. We were dern near at the bottom already, and he couldn't see it.
Point is no matter what we did for him, it was never enough. He wanted more.
I still feel I did the right thing, even though I felt selfish at the time for doing it.
Hubby is lucky I was a prepper, because we lived off my preps for 8 months or so during the housing market crash, when hubby had no work for 3 months, then took the $9hr job meant for a kid [my son], and I only made $80wk. Our rent was 1k a month, and we were behind 2 months. but in my sons eyes, we had money and didn't do enough for him.

Here's the thing: it will never be enough.
You can still love your children and kick them out into the world. They can make their bed, and they can sleep in it. and they will. When they get tired of living in the mess they made, they will crawl out of their hole, or not. There isn't anything you can do. Whatever you try will never be enough. Except for one thing: Pray.
I prayed for him and still do. I prayed that God will take care of him because I couldn't.
and I think God did, and still does.

I do hope this helps you cabingal. Cuz it sure wasn't easy for me to write.
Part of me wants to think I failed him, but the reality is, I would have failed him if I didn't force him to get out on his own.

 

Cabingal, One day you will be gone and DD will need to function without you. Does she know how? Will she succeed or will she be camping in the snow?

You understand, i know EXACTLY where you are coming from, as this Is what happened to my SIL and I am trying like fury to prevent it from happening to my own 2. Both of my kids have mental health issues. I could not help my SIL because she is a long-time druggie, and I could not allow her to expose my teens to that.

As parents, out last big job id to either getting our kids to be able to survive without us or have them put into a shelter, a my BIL eventually was. Otherwise they will be on the street, because even though we love them thy are rather helpless.

You understand, this Is a battle I am currently fighting for my own 2. DD currently is living with her boyfriend, and DS is on a waiting list for section 8 housing. DS is not ready to live without us, but I believe he is ready to BEGIN learning HOW to live without us.

 

thank u ladies.u made me cry hearing of your sorrows.they are mine too.
thank u so much for bearing your heart and going thru sorrowful things that hurt u so much.
i talked with daughter today and she is on her own but the cops are looking for her.
i told her all i had done to try to help her be ok.
she said ...ma i love u.i guess i thought u would always be around.i cant believe u are moving and not gonna be around.i guess i took things for granted.
having her say this was so important for me to know shes not totally delusional.
so having said this...
thank u ladies.
i feel like such a big dirty rat i just physically,mentally and money wise cant do it anymore.
i will surely remember every word of what u have said.
i know too...if she was here tonite.she would be acting like a know it all pickle.i left home and walked out at 18 yrs old.
never did drugs or got in law trouble.
i did it.i know she can.thank u ladies.

 

my hubby says this.he gets mad cause he says no body is taking him down.
he said baby(me) remember God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden of eden for less.
God didnot want to but Adam and Eve chose.
so this helps me.i am sharing cause us moms still love our children ...even grown and bad.
this helped me.so i thought i would share this.

 

ATST, I salute YOU!

And Cabingal, again, God bless you, and your husband. You're not a big rat. I understand why you feel that way, but your daughter is a grown woman now and if she won't take your guidance, she may have to take it from someone else. Her troubles may end up being the blessing in disguise that saves her life and teaches her to take care of herself.

 

I am so mad I could spit nails. Took 16 year old son to get a haircut Saturday during the snowstorm...he looked pretty good. Fast forward to last night, and one of my older daughters came to visit, and next thing I knew, they were in the bathroom, where she was 'fixing' this cut, which she claimed was a mullet. Again, Ethan had the chance Saturday to have the stylist correct it if he wasn't happy. Fast forward to this morning at 7 am, when I get home from taking dh to work, I'm informed that Ethan is hiding out, not wanting to go to school because sister botched his hair last night..All news to me. He and youngest dd tried to buzz it, and all three kids missed the bus..AND I am babysitting grandson...When I get out to the van to take them to school, I get the memo that Ethan is again hiding out, refusing to go to school, forcing me to call him in sick. AGAIN. The boy has missed so many days already this semester, and is flunking key classes. Why for the love of donuts couldn't he have said something last night, so his dad could have taken care of this in a timely manner??? Somebody is gonna have his ears sliced off when dad gets home tonight. This is just beyond ridiculous.

 

He and youngest dd tried to buzz it, and all three kids missed the bus..AND I am babysitting grandson...When I get out to the van to take them to school, I get the memo that Ethan is again hiding out, refusing to go to school, forcing me to call him in sick. AGAIN. The boy has missed so many days already this semester, and is flunking key classes. Why for the love of donuts couldn't he have said something last night, so his dad could have taken care of this in a timely manner???

Because he could put off the pain by not saying anything? Because he knew you would call him in sick? Teenagers are often foolish but rarely stupid: he has dealt with this the way he liked best.

Raising DD has made my cynical about teens, I am afraid. She could cry real tears at will: it took me a bit before I realized that she was conning me.

DD often lied to her teachers as well but I flat out refused to lie for her. I would have told the school the truth. If thy do not like it then kids can avoid putting us in that position, which I very much preferred! Oh, she still would not have gone to school but she would not have tried to et me to lie for her.

As I said before, my own DD had mental issues and so they had her finish school on a computer class. Mostly my district uses it for seniors who want to work but they need just one or two classes, but my DD took an entire semester that way as she would not stay in class any longer.

I do not talk about it much as folks would think less of my parenting ability for not making her go to school, but DD is 6 inches taller than I am and sometimes she hallucinates. She can also cry loudly by the hour, literally, which was hard on the office staff. I am proud that she graduated from high school at all: it was not easy.

HOWEVER! She did not try to get me to lie for her as all teens have ego's, and she knew I would have told the truth. So DD did her own lying and left me out of it.

I love her dearly, but she does have a mental illness and now, at age 22, she is only STARTING to be able to deal with life.

I would simply tell your son that you will not lie to the school for him again. Then let him deal with any loss of face.

 

To start March off I had two seizures in my sleep which left me tired and cranky all weekend. Since then, when I have slept I've had nightmares.

We have to wait a minimum of 6 weeks for the DNA results for my son, maybe up to 3 months. So I'm on a holding pattern of a bouncing back and forth between numb, ****ed off and devastated. I just want to hide from the world right now. I know my grief won't go away once the funereal is over, but I just want some closure and not have to deal with my ex and his family any more.

 

sorry for your loss. Stress can do this too. I too have epilepsy. Grand mal seizures. I understand and feel for you. Mine was due to sub arachanoid cyst in brain. Surgery at 16. Took 6years to get under control. Seizure free 15 years now with meds. Now only 1. Sometimes medications triger mine so I have a list. Enough sleep in key too. Keep a diary. Foods may trigger too. I can't have grapefruit with the med I am on. No matter don't like it anyway. My friend started after she was n a bad car accident. I helped her through it and it ws 6 years for her too. She is doing well. I am now 51. Take care of yourself too.

 

Mrs.sardog, I have missed something: apparently you have lost a loved one. I am so very sorry.

 

Mrs. Sardog, I read your posts on the other board about your son. My heart aches for you and your hubby. Please know I'm praying for you all, and that you have as quick an answer and resolution as is possible. I can't imagine having to deal with difficult ex's at such a terrible time.

 

My rant is about Doctors receptionist. Last week I rang up for an appointment, nope there wasn't any available for non-urgent but I could have a phone call. So phone call came, and Dr basically said my numb thumb was anatomically impossible. Spring forward to this week, I get a Drs appointment with a different Dr and now I have to go to hospital for blood tests, and maybe x-rays as it maybe Rheumatoid Arthritis. Bashing head against the wall, as I could have done this last week! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

He could be bored. Bub was like that until his teachers caught on and started giving him harder work then his grades went up. Now homeschooling, I am having to wrack my brain for science stuff because he did everything I already had! He is excelling in math too.

Speak with his teachers about giving him harder material. He could be bored

 

Free MIT courses (online).

Other colleges and universities also have them.

If he does well enough, have him take the test for credit or the CLEP/DANTES test (cheaper) so he doesn't have to take course again in college. Check to see how long the test scores are good for traditional students, though.

 

Rain �� flooding �� please make it stop ��

 

Rain �� flooding �� please make it stop ��

Will trade for snow and ice.

 

Not a rant really, just...tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere and tired of being broke.....yeah.

 

Another round of ice and snow for w. KY. Sigh. Yesterday was the first day in 2 weeks I could see my yard. Can't remember how long it's been since one snow has lasted so long. So we get a one-day reprieve, and it starts again. Sleet, then sleet and snow. No snow yet. Just sleet and snow. Sigh.

On the other hand, this is first time Mr. Weft has had a job where he can work on-line from home and not risk his life or our vehicle. I enjoy having him here, even if he's just cursing at the "idiots" that can't figure out how to hook up to their connections. He's sys admin, but help desk goes bye-bye on snow days, and he hates help desk. Seriously. If you can't remember the steps to get to your profile, can't you be intelligent enough to write them down in a list. Or your password? Apparently not.

 

Well, Welf, I haven't seen my yard in months. I know it's there somewhere . . . .

 

It's wearing its big wooly coat of snow! :

 

24 mile roadblock on I65. At least some people planned to be stranded. Flooding in my hometown, cresting way above flood stage. Not many prepared. Getting lots of grief for telling people that they should have done something over the weekend to prepare.

They will never learn.

 

Nope. Mother Nature will never give them grief. The world will never not be what they're used to. The roads and bridges will always be there. The grocery stores will always be accessible and, to boot, full when their 3-day supply of food runs out. There will always be electricity for lighting and heating.

You can't win when telling them what they "should have done." Nobody likes to hear they screwed up and what they should have done. Makes them feel inferior. Maybe you just need to phrase it as, "Use this experience to help you if it happens again. I can, ya know."