I am lucky that my wife is aware of my preps and approves, However since she does all the grocery shopping I either have to add something to her list or go buy it myself. So what I havew done is to simply go into the cupboard once a week or so (usually in the middle of the night)and fill a bucket with food, and put it in my store room. She has never even noticed and over time it has added to more than is actually in her cupboards. Same thing with other items. Also, now and then when I go shopping with her I just toss something extra into the cart.

My store room is actually a second kitchen full of cupboards and a sink. It is located in the center of the house with no windows. All my stuff is in there. Pretty cool.

 

It sounds as if your wife does not approve of the expense of preparing. (Not trying to be nosy or rude, if I over stepped my bounds I apoligize) One thing you could do is to start perusing thrift stores. Goodwill, Salvation army. I get all kinds of good stuff there. Hand cranked antique meat grinder, BOB for $3, propane countertop stove for $10 and the list goes on.

 

I realise reading your post just how lucky I am to be married to my hubby. We have always had the same goals and support each other. Survivalist issues aside.
Do you love your wife if so stick by her if not get out and sort out the situation with the kids as best you can. I know from experience that staying for the sake of the kids doesn't do them any favours.

 

How about coming at it from a disaster preparation angle instead of a Red Dawn mentality. Sit down with your wife and have a discussion about your concerns for likely future problems. Try not to overwhelm her with you new obsession. Just start by warming her up to the idea of saving some money every pay check for possible hard times ahead. If she accepts that, then start talking with her about other common sense preparations for things such as natural disaster ( hurricane, tornado, flood, whatever weather problem occurs in your area) . If that flies, bring up getting a gun and ammo to help safeguard your family in the event of crime or aggressive animals. Long story short, it’s all about presentation. If you and your wife can’t come to an agreement on any of that, it is your duty as a man to start preparations with or without her. You must provide for your family, but definitely do everything you can to get your wife on board.

 

Well she is your wife and you love her. So no matter whether she likes it or not, you prepare for her and your kids.

If SHTF, it's better to show her the AK and the water and food stockpile you've hidden then to say: 'I told you so'. That last thing won't help you much then.

I'll always tell folks it's not their duty to prep for their ignorant neighbours/far family but your wife and kids are an exception to that.

but definitely do everything you can to get your wife on board.

I think the

Red Dawn mentality

will scare her away.

But for the rest great advice.

 

We're in the middle of a recession, and a recent ice storm in KY deprived people of food, water and power for a month. You have plenty of examples to draw from. I don't think its extreme to point out that "people in Kentucky had to go weeks without any water or electricity." Also, don't you guys live right next to Tornadoville, Florida?

Have you seen this cool website that gives basic info on disaster preparedness? It also recommends you have three days of supplies in case of an emergency. And it's brought to you by YOUR TAX DOLLARS! http://www.fema.gov/plan/index.shtm

With the guns... some people just aren't into them. It's a hobby you have- leave it at that. If you get a "why this much ammo in the closet," tell her its good to have extra because it's getting hard to find sometimes (this is the truth). Or, a trip to the range chews through a lot of ammo at once (also true.) Don't try to argue the merits of having an AR-15 for self-defense with someone who doesn't care for firearms.

I would venture a guess that any "prepping" you are doing right now, will be considered in the "hobby" category if your wife tracks expenditures. If your "hobbies" are costing a lot of money and money is tight, she will likely expect the prepping expenditures to stop. I don't know how you all run your finances tho; none of my business.

Here is the kicker- a person who scoffs at the notion of prepping, will get really apprehensive if/when those preparations come in handy. Heck, the next tornado season might do all of the explaining for you. Just don't shove the issue in her face all of the time, and don't shout "I TOLD YA SO" if a crisis hits. It's good that you are pacing yourself; after hanging out on this forum you might be ready for food buckets and bugout bags, while she's back at "why do we need water stashed in the closet?" Keep it low-key and nonchalant.

OK this site has a kind of girly look to it, but it is loaded with great information if your wife gets curious about food storage:
http://funwithfoodstorage.net/

 

I kinda know the feeling with the wife thing, except it's my wifes family instead. All the things we are prepping have to remain hidden, since they visit all the time. She is very close with her family and they all live within miles of us, so they always visiting because of the kids. I personaly don't care and will openly speek what I believe in, but the wife doesn't want to have to explane it to them. Her family is very judgemental, and she thinks they will take our prepping as crazy.
Well just like week, mother in-law seen the inside of the garage. WHAT are you doing will all this food, and why is it packaged like that!?! (Wife forgot to shut the garage door before mom came over.) Wifey bit her lip and I jumped to the defence, these are our food stores. I simply explaned that there are uncertan times coming and I WILL not see my kids go hungry or come to harm. My mother in-law could see my wifes and I conviction in our eyes and simply replied " it seems a bit dramatic ". It was never brought up again.
The moral of the story is to stick to what you bieleve in, and have a seriouse talk with her. The kids are a joint responsability, and she should understand what's being done is best for the children. If that doesn't work then do it behind her back , as long as it does not effect the family finances.

It's better to be hated for what you bielve in, then be loved for what you do not. God bless my friend.

 

And they'll be the first ones showing up too, hungry cold and still judgemental I bet....

 

Dude...don'y give up...there are some good suggestions here thusfar, also, just keep hinting around at it occasionally and maybe you can wear her down to your way of thinking. That's what I did...my GF finally came around late last year when we started having 4 day work weeks then 6 of the last 12 weeks of the year off, every other week or so.

Now she is looking at where to place extra book cases for can goods, asking about ammo and such.

 

Moirlend, just out of curiosity, and I'm not trying to be judgmental in any way...what brought you two together and made you have kids with her?

What I would do is sit down with the wife and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you understand how she feels and that she might not be interested in helping. Tell her that it is fine as long as she doesn't make it hard for you to do what needs to be done.

She can be actively involved and help or she can stand on the side line and be passively involved and not put sticks in your wheels. If she can't choose either one of those choices you should walk. I would!

Set up your home base near by them, share custody and continue to prep as if the end is coming, because it is.

When the crap hits, you can once again offer to take her back in if she can accept reality and try to be a team again, for the sake of the kids. If she still doesn't want to, at least you'll be able to provide for the kids.

Being on your own will allow you to prep as you find it necessary but you don't have all that much time. A few months, end of fall at best.

 

I have some advice...

 

D...LOL.

Said with the tact of a bowling ball through a plate glass window. But I hear ya. Moirlend, you are in a tough jam bro. Do what your heart and instincts tell you.

 

To everyone that has posted you have given me something to really think about I really appreciate it.

 

#1. Prep anyway, you don't need her permission as long as you don't blow the bill$
#2. Pray

when all else fails #3 of your choices. She's made the kids like her
if you do #2 the kids will resist and cut your chances, they may tahk you about 15 years after your in the grave

Start taking them camping, and giving Mom a day of, that way they have context to compute

I'm Sorry, but you asked

what would Bubba say, "well dang Mister"

 

My wife agrees with my preps, however we have different beliefs as to why. Hers comes from a religious ground, mine from "common sense" as it has nothing to do w/religion. She does not question any preps bought and often buys things on her own she knows we need. As for weapons and ammo, its expensive and she understands the reason why eventhough her religious beliefs tell her that arming up is a waste of time. We also have children and have discussed that if staying together became an impossibility she would do what she has to to take care of the kids and I would do what I have to to affect change. One of our daughters is a diabetic and that simple fact adds a layer of complexity to prepping that is hard to discribe.

My wifes religous beliefs tell her some of what I am doing is wrong, however I am the head of the household. I wish that worked for everything, and anything she does at my behest isnt of her direct will and thus will not be accountable for it.

As I see it you have two ways to go, keep hiding what you are doing and hope you have enough when the time comes or tell her this is how it is. Tell her if Im wrong whats the worst that could happen? We will have food stocks and be ready for anything that may happen.

I personally believe that whatever is going to happen is going ot happen soon. As a result ALL of the money that I make at the moment goes towards preps. I am getting everything I can inplace WHILE there is still time and resources to do so.

Besides if your right and your wife is wrong and TSHTF, I told you so, will be of little consolance.

 

i think once she see's the first bloated body on the side of the road, she'll reconsider.

 

In the same boat with my GF but at least she understand where I'm coming from. That being said we don't live together or share money.

In your situation I couldn't see myself making on of the those hard decisions.

I do vote for option #4: Prep behind her back.

The reason I say this one is because you are preparing, so you already believe in the need to prepare. Why seperate from your wife or submit yourself to being unprepared? I'd get a storage locker or put the bulk of your preps at a friends house or a BOL or somewhere that DW doesn't know whats up.

 

My preps aren't going to stop, regardless of how she feel, I'm just not going to be able to prep how I would like.

For now I can work around her somewhat. When I'm going to have major issue is after TSHTF. I just hope I have enough time to get the wool out of her face

 

Hiking, camping and hunting and everything that goes with them are the keys to sucess in converting sheeple.

My wife and I both grew up in WV so owning firearms and hunting are typical/normal activities. But she was not a hunter, hiker or shooter and I had to buy a pop-up camper to get things started.

My mistake was trying to get her to like these things exactly the way that I do.
I eventually discovered that she is very interested in natural medicines/remedies and the effect of diet on people. This required plant study and led to the woods.

To keep a long story brief, she now has her own SKS, marlin 60 and a Walther PPK/S.
She is 100% on board with the preps, has an extensive herbal meds library and is into gardening big time!

The key is to find a related subject that they like and encourage it. Include the kids as well. Go to a state park and just take a long walk and look around.
Damn! I need to write a book

 

Just tell her that to pay for all your preps you'll just sell one of her shoes.:

 

This sounds a lot like a thread I started here about a year ago.

Listen dude. You've never met bigger polar opposites than my wife and I.

We've almost been ready to divorce twice now just becasue of our differences in opinions on the world. BUT... I do love her and I very much love my son.

I'm not going to tell you what or how I've stocked, but know that it's been as much as I can do with a very very very limited income.
5 dollars here and there. Saved very carefully. No going to movies, or to hang out with buddies. Every extra penny that didn't have a place in our every day or weekly or monthly budget went in a jar. When I had a day without the wife, I'd keep the jar in the car with me. I'd go out looking for what to spend it on.
I'd buy a 25lb bag of beans, or a small box of ammunition, some mason jars, or whatever.
IT is so little at a time that it barely seems worth it.
I pick up pennies on the sidewalk and put them in the jar. I sell old CDs I don't listen to anymore. I sold some old instruments. I painted rooms for people on weekends. Whatever it took to make some money on the side that I wouldn't have direct deposited with my timy paycheck.
Now I have a fairly good start on seeds and gardening information, a few buckets of dried food, some small rifles (nothing that would ever work for self defense, but maybe for squirrels or rabbits), some pairs of gloves, some extra rope. things like that. NOthing amazing.
But.... after some of it started accumulating, she was getting paranoid and was even convinced for a while that I was going to pack up all my bug out stuff and disapear into the woods and leave her and the kid behind forever. It took me a while to calm her down under the premise of camping gear and the desire for unique future outdoors adventures with friends or family.
Everntually she calmed down and got used to it being there.
Now, if we go to Sams club or costco, she almost always asks "Hey. Do you want to get more beans, or rice, or anything else while we're here? We can make the room for it in the budget if you need to get it".
In the last year, she has taken a great interest in gardening and we're venturing into learning more about growing out own food. She's started baking bread A LOT, and she wouldn't even cook dinner more than once a month 2 years ago. She's learning to live more self sufficiently, and we are better for it..... but it took forever to get here, and we're not even half way as far as I want us to be. But..... slow and steady wins the race.

We men want results immediately. We can remove our emotions and everything else and make a decision that we feel must be made. It seems most wifes have a lot of emotions tied up in it, and anything that's not routine is scary.
Be frugal, Save a little here and there on the side. Do what you can. Eventually it should work out. IT won't happen overnight though.
If you need any advice or just somebody to talk to.... message me and I'll get my E-Mail address to ya.

Hope this has helped.

 

OP, a lot of good advice here, if one tactic doesnt work, try another.

One thing, dont let her make you second guess yourself. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do, taking care of your family. Part of that is preparing for hard times.

I can see that you that two seem to have an equal say in what you spend money on, that is the way it should be. I hope that with the economy as bad as it is, she will start to see the light. On the other hand, I dont tell my husband what to do. If he wants a gun or ammo he buys it, doesnt ask me permission first.

 

Every time my wife goes shopping she grabs a little extra dry goods for storage.

 

Don't let her know anything, anymore.
She will probably turn against you.
Possibly turn informant when the time comes.
Or worse.

Her not even discussing the situation is really a statement that she does not respect you, or what you think anymore.
This is probably true regarding other things about your personal life also.
It's most likely a deep resentment that women develop for you paying attention to other things/needes besides herself.
And this is because she is most likely a very selfish person.
The type that require constant watering and maintenance.

So automatically anything you like or need is naturally stupid or of no interest or value to her.
I have a friend who's wife is exactly the same.

I would just get a small storage locker and put your stuff in there.
Pay cash, and don't let her know.
Put the guns and ammo away so that she does not see or know about them anymore.

She cannot be part of your OPSEC.
This mistrust and disrespect of your thoughts and values will could be turned against you at a later date.
Most likely when SHTF--and when there is a big decision to be made.
She cannot be trusted to make desicions regarding your children with this time comes.
There will be a point when she has to get in the car or stay behind (in some sense).
And you'll have to be ready to leave her behind possibly.

I wouldn't make any more attempts at reason or logic.
It seems like they've failed you already.

Keep in mind that you are not equally yoked.

And if you are a woman reading this thread--the same would go for you and your husband.
If he can't man-up to reality, you'll have to man-up for him.

T

 

Don't let her know anything, anymore.
She will probably turn against you.
Possibly turn informant when the time comes.
Or worse.

if you cant talk to your spouse about it, or you can't trust her, there's no point in being together for any reason.
IMHO if it gets to this point, it's time to move on. she/he can do it on their own their way, instead of expecting the other to provide for them.
i am an open book, i would tell my spouse everything. if you hold back and she finds out, everything will go to hell. then you risk it all.
better to be open up front.
i personally would rather be alone and prepared, than with an untrusting spouse and no preps...

peace
al

 

Come on Now , you have to think smart and most of all you have to think like a woman. First find one of her friends or better yet one of your friends that she likes and wishes you would be more like. ( trust me there are always at least one, Think like a woman). Anyway recruit others she will listen to and be more convienced by to talk to her about this. continue to do what you are doing , when she asks you say " I want to know that IF something happens then I have done all I can to keep you and the kids safe. Appeal to her mothering instincts and make her think about what thekids would do if she wasn't able to just run out and buy water. If all else fails find a church and send her on a Missions trip to Africa so she can live without the nice things of life for 2 weeks, then she will get it.
Froggy

 

1) Do NOT hide it from her. Ever.

2) Do NOT go overboard with one shopping trip---especially your first.

3) Do not freak her out with terminology like "preps" or "SHTF" or even "sheeple." Some people find those terms offensive and a turn off to the whole idea of prepping. She likes her bubble---do not pop it. Let her step out of it when she is ready.

4) Get useful things that she enjoys or uses-comfort food, tampons, lotion, a case or two of her favorite soft drink, etc.

5) Gently ask her if she would rather have you spend the money on household items or beer drinking with your buddys.

6) Ask her to go to yard sales and swap meets with you. Great quality time together.

7) Involve her!

8) Assure her that you are not going nuts and that you only want to protect her and your family.

9) Gradually expose her to news reports/articles of natural disasters or trajedy that could easily have been avoided with some fore-thought. Ditto for crime and people (women) who have protected themselves and their children with a firearm.

10) Do the grocery shopping. After about three months you will see a demonstrable decrease in your grocery bills.

11) Take up fishing, hunting and/or gardening. Those activities alone will justify the need for prep-like items including camping equipment and fuel. Offer to take her with you--if she refuses, buy her some suitable clothing-in case she ever changes her mind.

12) Buy her some silver rounds as a "gift." Women like shiney baubles. Jewelry is good too.

13) Tell her how fortunate you are to have her in your life.

14) Buy her a garmin or other GPS device for her car.

15) Make it about her.

16) Do not get that AK or AR immediately. If you do not have a gun-buy a .22 rifle, a shotgun or a semi-auto hunting rifle. Let her get used to seeing a gun in the house.

17) Feel out her friends and family about having extra food for an emergency or guns for defense. If the are positive about it, find a way to bring it up at your next get-together. Sometimes hearing it from someone else will open some eyes and her mind.

18) Find some projects to to around the house. After all, you need to have tools and hardware to do the job. Heck get some extra nails or screws so that you "don't have to keep running back to Home Depot."

19) Buy some wild edible identifcation books or gardening books and leave them in the bathroom. Same with Newsweek or another publication that lays it all out but is not extremist. She may start reading on day.

20) There is no harm in starting a "coin" or "art bar" collection of silver and gold.

Finally, BE PATIENT. Not only with her, but building your preps as well. Good luck!

 

I've gotten a few chuckles from some of these responses.

And some of these responses have been dead on! (see the thanks from me)

That being said...

All preps that are at my home have been done by ME. I've been the one to go out and search the dumps, yard sales, salvation army, goodwill, flea markets for anything I could possibly use during a SHTF scenario. And these items can be used everyday to save money!
I've gotten several water barrels for $5 ea (can use water for gardening so not to waste it), I've gotten 55 gal drums for $5 (3 for planting potatoes) and another drum to make a wood stove (shopped around and got the kit plus a top for burner & all piping) and the total I spent to make this $100. How are you going to stay warm if there is no electricity or gas coming to your home? Likewise, I got a chainsaw from another person for free and picked up an axe for a few bucks so I can get wood.

I've been the one clipping coupons and watching the sales at the stores to match the coupons to get things like 20lbs of rice for $10, dinty moore beef stew for $1.25, soups and veggies $.50 can or less, 24 pack TP $5, 8 pack paper towels $4.50 and so on.
Make this a game for your wife to see how much money she can save!

These items I use everyday and will not go to waste. The only thing I have bought that won't be used everyday is a solar panel, 3 deep cycle batteries & 2500 watt inverter. I will save that for when it's needed.

Going into the woods to live will be harder than one thinks. Being ex Army, I do not wish to live that way which is why I am doing what I can now. I do have all the camping supplies one would need. I just don't want to use them for anything other than 'fun' camping!
My bug in buddies are not as into this as I am. One has done nothing to help prepare and the other has given items and helps with the work. But I will need BOTH because of their skills. I'm a type A personality. So I would rather do the prepping myself and KNOW I can weather the storm.
They'll just have to take orders from me hehe

Scan this board. There are many lists that are excellent for you to start from.
Do not let your wife deter you from what you know is right. That is part of wanting to survive. Making the hard choices.

 

My wife wanted a rifle so I took my her to the gun show and without steering her anywhere she bought a CZ58 with a EoTech mounted to it as well as 15 mags and 4 cans of Hot Shot in a face to face sale from a private collection. She loves it, she can use it as well as any of the rest of us, and won't even let me touch it. It also does shoot a whole lot better and is more accurate than a standard AK. The other week she was hitting human sized silhouette targets center mass at 300 yds w/o any issues. (with MY ammo)

It took a while but after she really started to follow what congress is doing, she decided that her rights were more important than her personal comfort.

 

I agree with points made by both uncle T and Highlander here - seemingly opposite opinions.

For me personally, a combination of my own sense of urgency, my protectionist, or "gut" instincts for the children and our future, and the shear lack of getting anywhere in discussion with the X eventually sent us packing.

This is my personal situation, your wife may not be so far away from your way of thinking as my husband was from mine.

There was indeed a disrespect issue. This was perhaps the underlying issue that affected my decision the most. No trust, no respect for the things I found so incredibly important. Once I understood how little he respected me, my decision came easier. Cut off the emotion, "man-up" for him, and do what must be done, imo.

I know with conviction that I made the right choice for us. In fact when I last spoke with x-hubby in October, he told me he voted for Obama - This was not only nauseating news to my ear, but reassured me that had I continued to be patient with him, it have been to no avail. (I tried for years to bring him around, really I did..)

He may come-around, but it will be too late - not a risk I'm willing to take with the lives and security of my children. I don't do "blind faith" very well, never have.

With utmost sincerity, I wish you good luck.