Lose, lose situation unfortunately, don't you know that by now. I had a knack for saying the wrong things, now people ask why I don't talk much anymore. :thumb: At some point you just give up trying to have a civil discussion. like the saying goes, "those bitches be crazy"................:rofl:

Some women will think you have no right to comment on female stuff, some will be ****ed that you made them feel guilty for not BF. Just like my comment here will **** off some.

A coworker and I were in the elevator with 2 women, one was younger and thin, the other not. : My co worker made the BIG mistake that you never want to do. He said "when are you expecting"........................I knew immediately he was in trouble. I reached for the next floor button for the rescue. I will not say one word about someone being pregnant unless they are wearing a shirt with a huge arrow pointing to their stomach with the label, BABY......: No I'm not going to do it.

Now if I want to start something, that is another story all together, I do like to get the opposite sex riled up from time to time just for fun.......................:upsidedown:

 

My co worker made the BIG mistake that you never want to do. He said "when are you expecting"........................I knew immediately he was in trouble.

I have a firm policy, that unless I can see a baby coming out of a vagina, I do not comment on a womans state of pregnancy. :taped:

Course maybe I broke that rule with the BF comment.

 

What is a guy to do?

To be legally safe, ignore women in a work or semi-work setting. Or anything that could be considered non-socially acceptable, or anywhere public, or anywhere were there are not a dozen independent witnesses etc.

Really, a man will be risking their freedom to even talk to a woman in today's world.

 

Same could be said for protected classes. Thanks to EEOC rules and other governmental “protections” and political correctness, it's almost illegal to frown at people let alone try to manage them, correct/council or even communicate during any type of potentially negative incident.

 

What is a guy to do?

I've heard in North Dakota, they just teach sheep to microwave...viola, perfect wife?:

 

Hey, a little lipstick and perfume goes a long way... maybe a ribbon or two...

 

Just treat any person who even looks a little like a Female like She is wearing a Shirt Emblazoned with: "Yes, I do, But NOT WITH YOU" and you'll probably keep your job and reputation.

I used to Open Doors, Help with Disabled cars on roadway, etc...not now! I just blow on by.

Used to tell motorists that their tire looked Dangerously Low, brake lights don't work, and so on....not now!

At a time long past, used to pick up things dropped or left behind by Women, and return them...no longer!

Long ago, I was quick to offer jump-starts, go get some Fuel, help push out of snowbank, pull out of gutter....no more!

Guess I am much more "scary" than Gentlemanly, now that I am old fat and Gray!

Unless I saw the entire encounter from the start AND it was clear that the "looks like a Female" is being raped against her wishes, I will offer Zero help or Armed defense.

When I approach Women these days, they clutch their Purses tightly and look for an escape, they roll up their Windows and lock their cars. They won't look at me. They won't respond when I try to speak to them.....

Well, they are on their own. It is a sad development.

 

When I approach Women these days, they clutch their Purses tightly and look for an escape, they roll up their Windows and lock their cars. They won't look at me. They won't respond when I try to speak to them.....

Well, they are on their own. It is a sad development.

The sad part is that society has given them cause to be so fearful.

I remember grocery shopping a couple years back. I pushed my cart around to the passenger side of my van to load it in the passenger door. The lady parked on that side had just finished loading her groceries. As soon as she saw me, she jumped in her car like she was on fire, and locked the door.

Once, I was driving home. There was road construction and I detoured into the residential streets to get over to the street that took me home. Ahead of me, another car did the same thing. We wound around a few streets and turned the same direction. Apparently the lady ahead of me thought I was following her. She quickly turned into a 7-11 until I passed, then pulled back out.

She did the right thing by getting to a lighted area with people. But the fact that she was so frightened by someone else who obviously had no choice but to take the same detour made me feel sad for her, and for the state of society in general.

 

So about three hours ago I posted on a FB group a positive comment for breastfeeding.

Only about three guys, myself included have commented on the article, and the other two made some kinda sex joke.

Which is the very reason this site has a women's only section.

But for them to respond negatively to a supportive comment is uncalled for. Unfortunately, it's indicative of our current culture, male or female.

I could write a long dissertation on what I believe are the many causes of this. But I think I'll save time and sum it up with these simple words: People suck!

 

I remember when men could comment in the Ladies Section. I rather enjoyed those days because I enjoy everyone's perspective and, as I'm sure you can remember, I had no problem thunking some troglodyte around if he got out of hand ... which I didn't think happened all that often ...

Still, some women were offended, I guess ...

The Ladies Section is good ... it's just different than it used to be ... and I miss the guys take! :

 

I am convinced that Young "looks like a Female" citizens wear headphones so they don't look approachable, and can ignore you. They pretend to be on their cellphones, so it acts like invisible armor (I truly can not believe that almost to a Woman, they have that much phone work to do!!!).

 

They aren't "working", they are talking, shopping, watching Youtube videos on how to make stuff they will never actually make, checking their Facebook for the 8th time in the last 30 minutes, being told what to think by the internet media, and mostly, changing the song every 46.4 seconds.

Seriously, have you heard young folks today listening to music? They can't listen to a whole song, ever. One verse in, and they want to change to a different song they just remembered, its as if they..SQUIRREL!!!!!

Now where were we?

 

I used to be the kind of person who would tell a female if I thought they looked nice. I would compliment hair styles and clothing and all that. I did it for the sole purpose of making them feel good and smile. I truly had no other motives. I mean, really! What else was I expecting? For them to strip naked right there and throw themselves at me? Of course not. I was being nice and making conversation before going on about my business. Now, I say nothing. I'm much less likely to even speak to a female if she isn't significantly older than me or if I already know her well. I got tired of the 20 something females mumbling a polite reply before running away. I'm an average looking guy with an average build wearing average clothes driving an average car saying average things. I'm not trying to flirt or pick you up. I just made small talk.

So now, I say nothing. I will help those who are obviously in need, but that's all as far as talking to women.

Dudes? We are way easier. 90% of us basically know each other anyway, whether we've met or not.

 

I was hired at a local gun range back when women were usually not seen at gun ranges ... except to watch the men shoot. The guys who worked there knew me because this was the range the Old JBT had taken me to to teach me how to shoot and I'd shot IPSC matches with alt of these guys. To say that they thought I was a delicate flower would be a bold faced lie ...

Yet ... when I donned that green shirt and walked behind the counter all the fun and games stopped. The guys were calling me ma'am ... and instead of me getting to hear of their escapades at their primary jobs (most of them just worked there for the employee discount -- there were firefighters, police officers and EMTs. Lot's of military guys from Tinker, also ...)


The targets we handed out were under the counter. To say that there was a lot of unintentional groping while trying to navigate gathering targets, ammo, etc. to get folks checked in and out on the range would, again, be an understatement.

One particularly busy Saturday morning I reached for some targets that were under the cash register next to the one I was working. Just about that time "Joe" (who was standing in front of the register I was reaching under) turned toward me to ask me a question and I would up with a huge hand of Joe's junk ...

Since I was the only woman for a hundred miles, I made a snap judgement that a little "blue" humor was in order and said "Well, it was good for me! How about you??" : Joe, who was won't to crack jokes back when I was "just a customer" about my 36DDD boobs, looked at me, grinned, and said "My God, Patti! When we found out you were coming to work here we were all worried about you filing a sexual harassment suit against us. Little did we know we were gonna have to file against YOU!!" :

After that the ice was broken and we were back to old shenanigans! : I STILL miss those guys! That group of fellas were the best group of folks I have ever had the pleasure of working with ...

I said all that to say I completely understand why you guys feel the way you do ... I'm scared of most women these days and I'm a woman ...

 

Im very supportive of females...as long as they ain't named hillary

 

We are touching on the fourth rail here.

I'm guessing most of us have seen the women that get beaten by some lunatic only to return again and again and again. We've seen the douchebags at school score the girls while the polite guys get ignored. We've all heard females say that they just want a "nice funny guy" but date the abusive guy with no job and no sense of humor.

If I don't know the female I will only hold doors if you are a little girl or an old woman. The middle ground female, those with the still "looking for a soul mate" mentality will just have to fend for themselves. Women (especially western women) are basically pricing themselves out of the market. It's like having a Corvette that you pay for the upkeep on, but can't just jump in and ride when ever you want... What's the point?

If anything ever happens between me and the wife, I will NEVER cohabitate or marry another woman, EVER. This isn't a knock on women, this is about the state of male female relations and where they have been brought to by religion and media, IMHO.

I think that we could have normal decent relations between the sexes, but unfortunately the society that we have created frowns upon natural interactions. On one side we have the religious nuts that don't want you to ever have sex unless you are "married," then on the other side they tell you to "do it with no thought of the consequences," and both lead to ****ty relationships.

 

All I can say is that it is a shame. Not only for you guys, but for us women, too. For all of you guys out there who think you can't win, there are women who appreciate a strong man and the differences between men and women. Sadly, you might end up in jail trying to find one.

 

Sadly, you might end up in jail trying to find one.

I got lucky, met my wife in High School, when I was naive enough to not know better.

 

I'll just say that men who are nice to women--we don't all believe you're sex predators or think you've got rape on your mind. Some of us do understand that you're just being nice, no strings attached.

Some of us can tell the difference.

And no, I'm not looking for anyone. I'm a content widow.

 

I'll just say that men who are nice to women--we don't all believe you're sex predators or think you've got rape on your mind. Some of us do understand that you're just being nice, no strings attached.

All it takes is ONE to ruin a career or life.

 

To my wife:

Me: Honey, you look nice today!
Her: What!!!! I did not look nice yesterday???????????
Me: (mumbling) oh boy,,,

Don't kid yourself, this is common behavior. It's not our culture, it's not how they were raised. Quite simply, women think differently than men.

In fact, men can use the fact that women think differently, to their advantage. Come to work and say to Julie: You seem well rested (and say nothing else, just walk away) . It's a compliment, but it's certain to be taken some other way! (a little joke we have in the office)

More seriously, men really can't comment on women's issues, unless they are a medical expert in the field being discussed. Even then, men must be very careful.

 

So about three hours ago I posted on a FB group a positive comment for breastfeeding.

Only about three guys, myself included have commented on the article, and the other two made some kinda sex joke.

I was a little shocked at the amount of negative feedback I got from women...about a 1/3 were upset or gave a negative comment back.

<sigh> Welcome to the internet, no wonder guys rarely compliment women in public....too much blowback from the effort. At work I never comment on anyones appearance, as I could be fired in a sexual misconduct case. And then of course some get mad cause we don't mention their new hairdo.

What is a guy to do?

Tell us the comment. If it was as positive as you say, own it.

 

kudos to women who breastfeed and doing what your bodies were meant to do. Your children are better off for it, so many people do not understand this.

 

Oh sure, link to the ladies section where some unsuspecting guy will post and get slapped for it.

 

I managed it once and didn't get slapped for it. Clicked a latest post link on the forum front end, so I didnt get to read the rules for that specific subforum.:taped:

/edit come to think of it why the hell am I bringing it up in a thread that the moderators already posted in.

 

When we are together my wife never has to open a door, and she always enters first. When we arrive at a destination she waits while I walk around and open her door. It's just what I started doing when we were dating and I never saw a reason to stop.

So, yeah, I was raised to treat women with respect, and it's terribly unfortunate that society now frowns on that. When I'm out running errands by myself I talk to no one and women are on their own. Like many other that have posted here there was a time when I was there for anyone, opening doors, offering assistance in various situations, etc., but all that went out the window several years ago. You can't be too careful any more.

Oh well, there is still one woman that I can still treat like....a woman.

 

It's like commenting on black peoples hair or something. If whatever you are commenting on could not possibly be part of YOUR experience, then others will sometimes have animosity toward you if you speak about it. Sort of like you are speaking about something for which you couldn't possibly know.

Kind of reminds me of female football fans that I've seen. They get super into it and are like "They need to get back to throwing the ball..." Well, guys know this is referred to as "passing", so we can't help but think she doesn't really know what she's talking about and is just trying to fit in and be one of the guys. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it will certainly put some people off.

 

Yeah that makes sense.

 

I think that many women are CHOOSING TO BE OFFENDED . It is a manipulative game . and they wonder what men are not interested any more.
Some ( I think)are looking for attention or sympathy , but all they really get is regrettable tollerance distain.
People that are fun to be around cannot be easily offended , they are mature and know what and who they really are and secure in them selves .
If I say that "those jeans make your butt look big" they say, "thanks , that's what I'm working on." If they say my hair is too long and thin," and offer to cut it , I merely reply , It's my defense in repelling gold diggers." That and not taking a bath one a month wether I need it or not"
Hows that working ?
Great, but the flies are a problem.
One whom is secure in them self is not easily offended..
The last thing a man needs, a woman that has insecurity issues. He is not allowed to fix them.

 

I tried to be supportive of a woman once, she slapped my hand away.

 

I had a breast reduction a couple years ago. (No worries guys ... I'm still a 36D ... )

Anyway, the Old JBT was at the surgeon's office for my follow up and he and the doc got to chatting ... Doc H asked if the Old JBT he had had "the girls" wake yet ...

Come to find out they had had quite the conversation after my surgery in the Recovery room ... guess I slept through it! :

 

Are you the father of a child that was breastfed and did your comment reveal such information? If so then you are speaking from a position of experience as a witness of the act itself and the health of your child. Have you and your buddies discussed the merits of breastfeeding?

I suspect the sex comments were from those who only equate boobs as something for them to play with, not as a vehicle for nourishment. I can understand how women could react negatively to these types but not to a dad.

In this day and age with estrogen running rampant in food men are growing breasts. I have no experience with them so I can't comment whether they jiggle, need a bra or if they are are useful in the funhouse.

Ironically, I wasn't able to breastfeed my two kids but I've read of it's virtues and being female automatically grants rights of opinion. :

 

See post 24 for exact comment.

I am a dad, no I did not reveal this. Both were breastfed.

 

This is where things go sideways for me ... just because a man can't breastfeed or is not the dad of breastfeed children does not mean he can't comprehend the health benefits for a baby to be breastfed. Or that he isn't entitled to an opinion one way or the other ...

That's like someone telling me I can't understand racism because I have red hair and freckles ...

That kind of logic is for small minded people who don't like their own personal opinions challenged. Nothing like having to take a hard look at yourself during a discussion about something you REFUSE to listen to someone's opinion about just because they don't fit the preconceived mold about who can experience what's being discussed.

 

EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion and before the internet and FB we kept it to ourselves or within a small group of friends. Now we are allowed and encouraged to comment, like, dislike, rate and pass judgement on anyone and everything.

If you started a thread on red haired women with freckles I'd have nothing to add except for the lunch lady in 3rd grade had similar features. I saw racism in the south in the 60s where restrooms and drinking fountains were marked "colored" and "white". Being from the west coast I had to ask my parents what that meant. Useful info? Nope. In fact, I am in error responding to this thread because I should know better than to comment in social engineering posts. Thanks for the reminder.

THIS IS THE GREATEST SOCIAL EXPERIMENT OF MANKIND and who is behind it? My money is on Edward Bernays. He wrote the propaganda bible that is in full swing today. Yes, I do get the irony that I am also participating in the experiment.

His major coup, the one that really propelled him into fame in the late 1920s, was getting women to smoke. Women didn't smoke in those days and he ran huge campaigns for Chesterfield. You know all the techniques—models and movie stars with cigarettes coming out of their mouths and that kind of thing. He got enormous praise for that. So he became a leading figure of the industry, and his book was the real manual.

http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/bernprop.html

 

I guess I get off easy with the tried and true "did you do something different with your hair - looks good." Maybe because I'm 43 and fall into that harmless old man category as the seven gals surrounding my office are all late 20's to early 30's. They do love the recognition but I guess if your dropping over a $100 for your hair someone had damn well notice.

DON'T USE "are you losing weight?" - unless they're actually leading a healthy lifestyle and pander to the crowd about working out.

 

I dunno. I get so sick and tired of men telling me that they approve of my appearance in some way. I dont really give a ****. I did not dress the way I do for their benefit. It does not make me feel good to know they have assessed my appearance as acceptable. It makes me feel gross actually. Im not in public to be eye ****ed. I mean ya, people are going to look at people, but to announce it? Thats ballsy I think. I would never ever look a man up and down and tell him how great I think he looks. Nuh uh. Its a weird thing to do!

And yep, I will admit I mostly dont trust men. I have weapons stored all over the house for that moment when some douchecanoe thinks its a great idea to break in.

As for the breast feeding stuff, I never comment because other peoples choices are none of my business. Thats what keeps me the most out of trouble. But it is nice to see men supporting (people in general really - even women arent always supportive)

Anyhow, thats just the tip of the iceburg of my rantings on the whole issue.

 

A lot of hurt there maybe you step back an understand why

 

being southern, yes ma'm , no ma'm, Darlin' punkin(children), a mans hand is firmly shaken, a womans hand, on meeting, is gently taken, with my palm up, I open doors, pull out chairs, offer to help change tires, jump start cars. I offer for women to go ahead, remove my hat inside a building or on meeting a female. once i know her name, it yes miss katy or mrs Katy, as it is required. Chivalry is not yet dead in the south, but is i a form thats fading away.....

 

Glad you can pull that off. I'm to introverted, and it would come off creepy LOL

Good on ya.

 

My grandpa told me that when he was coming up, anytime a woman would walk in the room the males would stand up.

I'm trying to figure out how the media was able to convince the ladies that that kind of treatment was somehow bad.

 

I'm still trying to figure out how it was ever good. There are things I'm willing to do out of courtesy, but that one is ridiculous.