Just tell them nothing. I usually just smile and go about my business. Sometimes the best response is no response.

 

don't draw attention to yourself ... others will notice .... remain The Grey Man

 

People think they are funny by making a joke, even if you are buying 5 packages of bacon for the men's breakfast at church that you are cooking the next day...just say, "Having a party!"

People are nosy and want to know other people's business, so they think making a joke will get the information they want. Beat them to the punch and say you are having a party or going camping...or tell them the exact truth you are planning for the Dec 21 apocalypse.

 

For the beans; We wanted to re-enact "Blazing saddles" and wanted as much realism as possible.

For the water; Just changin out the water in the gold fish bowl.
However, I don't think anyone in this part of the country would think it out of place as I know many take much more than that to their hunting camps.

 

If it's the cashier making the comment, I'm usually somewhat polite and just evade the question. They never push the issue. It's rare that they even say anything to me about it. Sometimes I feign ignorance and say "I dunno, it's on the list" as if I'm shopping off someone else's list.

But I will not tolerate any comments from other shoppers. I may just say "eh, yeah" or some other such minor acknowledgement of their comment without any substance whatsoever. Or I may (and usually do) get extremely blunt and curt in my short reply.

By the time I've dealt with idiotic drivers getting to the store, idiots in the parking lot and people walking diagonally all across the lanes so as to delay the vehicles as long as possible, and idiots in the store strategically placing their carts and bodies so as to take up as much room as possible and impede other people's progress, I'm NOT in the best of moods by the time I get to the checkout line.

 

ver. Or I may (and usually do) get extremely blunt and curt in my short reply.

By the time I've dealt with idiotic drivers getting to the store, idiots in the parking lot and people walking diagonally all across the lanes so as to delay the vehicles as long as possible, and idiots in the store strategically placing their carts and bodies so as to take up as much room as possible and impede other people's progress, I'm NOT in the best of moods by the time I get to the checkout line.

Yeah. Exactly.

There is one particularly bad grocery store in our neighborhood - old building, everything closely built, nowhere to expand, it is just a hellhole to navigate through. It is also the store that gets the EBT crowd that takes the bus north from the hood, and the store that does the $100 gift cards in the Philly gun buybacks. If I have to go there, I'm a dangerous person for an hour afterward.

 

Right There with ya, MikeK!

 

I think people like to be social out in society. People like to connect just for the sake of connecting. Combine that w/a grocery check out line - which is a social place in which we're randomly exposed to other people's personal choices to a certain extent.

I'd respond with friendly casual banter that affirms that "stranger's" desire to connect - even if it's an off-hand comment/joke - e.g. "yeah, ya never know what they'll make illegal next!"

My worst incident had nothing to do w/prepping - pregnancy brings out the worst of people's "know it all" attitudes - a checkout clerk would not stop telling me that my doctor was wrong & that I was going to have twins. (which was just the wrong thing to say on sooooo many levels - amazingly, that clerk is still breathing)

 

For water just tell them its for cleaning off all the BS we get of the mainstream media. Everything else I just tell them its for the church pot luck and knowbody ever thinks twice.

 

I usually say "for the church food bank" or "Not sure, the wife told me to get it."

 

I haven't bought anything in bulk at the grocery store yet, just warehouse clubs. But the comments I do get, I'm noncomittal... I don't want to stick out in anyone's mind.

 

Say it's for feeding the poor, "Would you like to make a donation?" That usually shuts people up.

P.S. If they do give you a donation though you have to give it to the poor or you can go to prison for fraud.

 

No, I wouldn't go to prison for fraud....I AM the poor.

 

For food, "Food bank donation. They need it."

I wouldn't get questions on water as I use what comes out of the tap. But I might spin a story about how my little dog just won't drink the chlorinated stuff, and I don't want the fluorine hurting her, so I buy bottled water for her. People are so irrational about pets no one would think twice.

 

I've never ha anything said to me, and I've bought some strange things. To me it sounds like your guy was just looking for something funny to say because he thought he had to, and it just came out dumb/strange. I'm guilty of this quite often.

 

With my people skills (or lack there of) I say tons of things I wish I hadn't. Don't hate those of us that are conversationally challenged.

 

Tell them you're filling up your swimming pool.

Here in Utah, nobody gives you a second look if you buy in bulk.

 

I only buy large amounts when I can get a deep discount, so I say "It's a great sale, you'd have to be some kind of idiot not to take advantage of it!"

Then I watch them shuffle around and look sideways trying to decide if they should leave the line and go buy whatever I have on the counter, or admit that they are an idiot and stay.

 

I say "It's a great sale, you'd have to be some kind of idiot not to take an advantage of it!"

I'd never say that... because I would have wiped them out

 

A while back I was buying a bunch of TP and the cashier asked me "so are you stocking up?" I said nope, it's chili night. :

We both had a good laugh and he was none the wiser as to why I was really buying that much.

 

The worst trouble I ever got into was back when I was married. We had a little food in the cart and a bunch of TP. It was on sale. The clerk asked about why we had so much TP and I said "my wife is cooking tonight!"

I learned not to do that again!

 

For the pork and beans, you just say you're doing a home based methane generation experiment.
Usually when I'm grocery shopping I have the 4 kids with me, that tends to make things pretty obvious.

 

Yeah, I've gotten some strange looks at the gun counter too.

Another customer: "Who NEEDS 1,300 rounds of .38 special?"

Me: "I don't really need it but I noticed I'm down to 98% of what I like to keep on hand. Hey, is that a whole case of 12 gauge 00 buck?"

 

I went to the local grocery and bought 7 of the 2.5 gallon jugs of water. I was feeling pretty self conscious about it and low and behold as I am putting my haul on the conveyor belt the old guy behind me says "sure hope they don 't come after you for drinking too much water". Now in and of itself that seems like a weird comment. Maybe he was crazy to begin with but how would you guys have handled that? I didn't really know what to say so I just mumbled something. Obviously, again I know the answer is to buy a little bit along the way but when you can't, or don't how to you handle it. So my question is, when you guy a large quantity of one or two items, do you have a standard comeback for when people comment on your haul?

Don't feel self conscious... I would have said no they can't catch me... I'll just float away.

 

You can also say that your spouse does the shopping and always forgets the beans... so you are stocking up, because you like them.

I've also said that I was cooking for an event when asked about the 5 bags of rice.

 

Most of the time I don't get people asking me a lot of questions, and if I do I just laugh it off and ignore them. I truthfully don't give a flyin **** at a rollin donut what they think.

 

It's usually cashiers who say something to me, and it seems mostly to be making conversation. And frankly, I do get GREAT deals with my coupons. So I usually just say yeah, great deal this week and that's the end of it. I've never had another customer comment, but if one did I would just smile and make no response.

 

Just look around suspiciously, lean over, and whisper conspiratorially that you read about the Chinese taking over America on the Internets. Give him/her a wink, shove your hands in your pockets, and look around suspiciously again. That'll teach them to mind their own business.

 

Honestly, who cares what some old fart says. It was probably a lame attempt at witty, current event humor and you should have laughed it off after coming back with your own witty remark about how pretty soon it will be as expensive as gas (or something to that effect).

 

We tend to buy bulk amounts at Sams so it goes largely unnoticed. I can be agoraphobic at times, and I get kinda grumpy in crowded stores. Maybe the ****y look on my face keeps people from asking questions?
I can relate to the statement about too much water in the OP. i live in illinois and the great white fathers of cook county tend to design about 1200 new laws every year, all with the intention of saving us Central Illinois residents from..ourselves!
I wouldn't be surprised if rahm and pat quinn came up with legislation to limit the amount of drinking water we can possess south of I 80. Can't have us podunks dying of hyponatremia!

 

"Haven't you heard about the shipping strike ? There won't
be anymore (TP, bacon, beer, whatever) in town after next
friday" By saying it a little bit loud, you can get more nosey
folks involved. A shipping strike would cripple Alaska stores.

 

"Donating it to a good cause"... that cause being my family's well-being & preparedness. This time of year, people won't bat an eyelash at that.