Marriage is what you make it. I have been married twice. The first time was the most miserable 8 years of my life except for my daughter. She was the one and only good thing to come of it. We were entirely too young.

My second has been 19 years of happiness. I won't lie and tell you it has been easy. There have been hard times. But when you are married to your best friend you want to work through problems together.

You are young. Too young to be saying you will never marry or have kids. Get back to me in a few years and see if you are still singing the same song.

 

Ryan, I waited on the Lord's Will for my life, and he sent me a wonderful woman. I love my wife and I would bleed to keep her from crying...

I encourage you to not make plans for "not EVER" getting married, its easy to say now, but when you find the right woman, you'll eat those words. lol

Planning is a good thing, but life sometimes changes, and you must come up with new plans, and when it does I hope they involve a wonderful little lady for you someday.

Good luck, and its worth it!

Pointblank

 

Don't eat the wedding cake.......And don't let her eat it either...

 

Box of Chocolates

Marriage is like a Box of Chocolates, you never know what your going to get.

 

To much information

I never thought I would get married, I was miserable and knew it but thought that was what life was. When I met my wife my world changed, and that is how I knew I wanted to get married. Now I'm a widower and was happier than I ever thought could be legal. While I am miserable again without my wife, I am thankful for the years I had with my wife. When the woman is right for your and your are ready, there will be no doubt in your mind. Also, I only knew my wife for three months when I proposed to her, I knew she was the one.

 

Marriage is not what it was for the older generations.

When I see some of the older people who are married I think of how they are so devoted to each other and full of love for one another but with my generation and later generations it isn't like that.

From my point of view, women are too stuck on earning ability and paying their way by laying on their back. I dont know a single married couple of my generation or later that the woman isnt cheating on her husband. True most of those husbands are also cheating but not all of them.

My best friends wife ran around on him for years and still is. He forgives her repeatedly and she just keep doing it and claiming it is his fault for not paying her enough attention. Last month, she got caught doing a "train" with 6 men at one time.

Still, to hear her say it, she is virginal and never cheated on him and she dares him to say anything different publicly and he will swear she doesn't cheat on him and then come to me crying because she had two guys in bed with her this morning when he got home from work and it is still his fault because he wont pay her enough attention.

Personally I lived through 7 years of pure hell in my marriage. I wont do it again.

I remember coming home to 5 men running out of my house every evening because my ex wife was entertaining. She did things I cannot even repeat on this forum. I will NEVER get married again.

To all the women who swear that THEY arent like that I submit that my ex wife said the same thing and she was one of the worst.

 

Neither my wife or I cheat, but then again even though we're both in our early 30's we have a pretty old school way of looking at things.

 

If I ever get married again it will be in a burning building.
That way I get burned to death.
Its less painful and quicker than having to suffer! :

 

I'm HAPPILY MARRIED, Marriage is a two way street, but a long engagement sure helps make sure it's to the right person

 

marriage costitutes love,love is like pain.an illision of the mind,sufferd by those who are weak.

 

Spoken like a 44 year old who never had a relationship

 

10th grade? Why in heavens name are you even thinking about marriage? The only thing you should be concerned with at this point in your life is getting the best education you possibly can and enjoying your high school years.

I have two sons....one is 19 and the other is 26 so I know a little about guys. Do yourself a favor.....date a lot of girls and don't go steady. Go learn to hunt, and fish. Go backpacking, hiking, camping etc. Don't let any girl pressure you to get involved in a relationship in high school. You're too young. Plan on being single and enjoying yourself. Learn to like yourself, get to know who you are and what you want out of life. For gosh sakes, you have plenty of time.

One last thing. When you do find the right woman......and hopefully you'll be in your late 20's when that happens. Don't base your decisions on anyone else's relationship. Listen to older folk's advise, (we're wiser than we look) but take what you want from it and leave the rest. Including mine.

 

I'm a soon to be 28 year old woman who is on her second marriage. My first marriage was 5 years (2 engaged and 3 married) to a man that was abusive. Had we not fought so much and had he not been abusive on the many levels he was, we probably would have lasted. Now I am married again. The weird thing is I was going through my divorce when I met my current husband. Many people told me that I was rushing into things. But they didn't know my heart. I had learned the warning signs. My husband was very reserved and afraid to get hurt again after just getting out of a 3 year relationship. Both his and my parents said they knew the first time they saw us together that this one was different. We were smitten with eachother. We married a year and a half later. We've now been married for 2 years. The newness has worn off but I am still smitten with him. We have our squabbles but we work through them just like you would with a close friend.

When you find someone that you connect with on every level - spiritual, emotional, and physical - then that is the person that you should be with. Many people ignore warning signs of the wrong person when they are dating because they are in love. My husbands grandmother once told me "When you are dating, go into it with eyes WIDE open. When you are married, you close one eye." In other words, make yourself aware of the warning signs during dating. When you get those and they are things that cannot or will not be fixed, break it off before you get deeper committed. When you are married though, that is supposed to be 'till death do you part'. You let those little quirks roll off of you. You work through things but you don't let the little things get to you. If you go in with this mindset, you will likely have a happy and long marriage.

You are too young to be saying never. When you find the right person, you should know. And if you don't, then she may not be that right person for you.

 

Save yourself a lot of time and trouble.

When thinking of getting married..........
Find a woman that hates your guts and just give her your house and all your belongings. :taped:

That should learn ya!

 

Live with her first, regardless of what anyone says, live together first. Everyone I know who lived together first has far fewer problems than those who didn't.

 

Marriage is tough sometimes. You get what you give.
I have only been married for a couple of years and still like it. It is a different experience for sure, wonderful at times. Think long & hard about the person you think is right. Look at their parents and see how they act.
Everything that I have heard about the 1st 5 years being the toughest is absolutely correct. If I had to do it all over again I would have tried to get better prepared financially for it.

And for the record, Women do change once you've married them. I never believed it until I experienced it.

 

Palladin... you said "'I'm HAPPILY MARRIED, Marriage is a two way street, but a long engagement sure helps make sure it's to the right person"

and I am glad to say that you and i have that in common.

Now a question for everyone who had a bad experience in marriage :

DID you see the red flags, hear the warning in the back of your mind, and ignore it?

 

Okon...you said "And for the record, Women do change once you've married them. I never believed it until I experienced it."

To that i have to say, Women who were putting on an act will change.
Twenty years later my wife looks ten years older but she hasnt changed otherwise.
But she never put on an act for me, doesnt for anyone. Maybe that is rare.

For my money, its dang hard to find an American woman who is not putting on SOME sort of an act. Maybe that is just my experience.

 

Nebguy.. I agree, that may very well be the case. I know in my own experience and my other friends experience's that has been the case. My wife did change but it thankfully wasn't a bad one. but none the less we still love each other very much and enjoy each other. Any problems that arrive we will tend to work together on and it all works out great.
We actually had an advantage going into our marriage, We grew up together and always had pretty much the same intrest. we were best freinds as kids and now in marriage. I could'nt have asked for a better.

 

the only thing getting married does is get the state involved in your monetary affairs period. just live together and be happy and if ever the time comes when the couple decides to break up they can do it quickly and quietly.

 

Loyalty, honesty and integrity go hand in hand with a marriage that lasts.

 

Marriage is one of those things that either it's the best thing you ever did or it's the worst thing you ever did. Unfortunately it's sometimes hard to tell at the front end which it will be.

Personally mine was a whirlwind romance (met in Feb, wed in July) that's lasted over 37 years. Most of the time I cannot fathom life with someone else OR life alone. To make it work you have to give up a lot of "I" and put up with a lot of "US". If you're self-centered, selfish or shortsighted then don't jump in 'cause it's not likely to last long. Remember there is no "I" in "TEAM". When you get married you are creating a team of two...

As others have said, at your age you're at least 6 years too young to even consider marriage. Now is your time to explore, experience and fantasize. As someone else said, your spouse had better be first and foremost your best friend. If you can't make that claim, then don't tie the knot.

Allan

 

You really need to find a good friend in your mate.



I believe it was said above that you need to find a friend in your spouse. There are two kinds of love. One is really lust. You may lust after a girl or guy but that is momentary. You need to find something deeper. When your love for them makes you put their best interest above your own you will know what I mean. You have to like the person you are married to. I know a number of folks who get married and think they can change the person they married once they get through the honeymoon. It doesn't happent that way. Resentment comes from people who are forced to try and fit someone elses expectations and desires. You need to be partners, Best friends, Lovers, and have same direction in life.

It is the hardest job you will ever take on but the rewards can be great. Kids need a stable home life. When you commit it is for better or worse not better or better. Let the hard times make you better as well.

HOpe you don't give up on Marriage. Just be sure of the person you marry. Don't try to marry and then change them.

 

There is a reason they call marriage an "institution", you might want to be put in one after the fact.:

We also have marriage as a 3 ring circus.....Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering.:rofl:

On a serious note, wait 10 years. I knew everything at 18, or 16 in your case. Then I got older, and figured out how dumb and naive I really was at the time.

 

I love my wife and would not swap here for anything in this world,25 years married next year.

I would die for her and id kill anyone that hurt her.

 

My husband is the same, after 25 years,the common respect of each other and recognising each others weak and strong points is important.
I cant shoot straight,castrate cattle,build fences,but can cook a better apple pie than Wayne. Part of being and keeping in love is admiring the person and how they change and grow.
We both were wild when we were younger,but we both fell in love, early,he saw me at 16 and knew I was the girl for him to marry,but knew I was too young then he went I did not meet him that night,but he remembered me and came calling , two years later .I was 18 and said to my family, he is who I want to marry as soon as I met him.Love at first sight can work, just make sure it IS love both ways, the other person is decent honest and loyal.
The kinks get ironed out along the way, but romance should never die.
I still get the flowers, kisses and affection a wife likes, he still gets what he likes..........TV and a good meal!!!

 

Dude, that's a freakshow. There is nothing normal about any of that.

 

Many disparage it, but mine was a dream come true. Ours was a 'storybook marriage' and it lasted for 11 wonderful years.

And then, one of us died.

Marriage can be a source of great emotional support and strength through the roughest of times. It can be a protected 'port in the storm' of life.

It can be filled with so much love and laughter

Marriage can be a truly wonderful and fulfilling thing.