I did that for a number of years and it eventually was a contributing factor in a failed marriage. I spent a couple of years commuting to N. Austin from E. Houston (about a 180 mile commute, one way) I would leave home each monday morning and return friday evening. After that I commuted about 102 miles one-way from E. Houston to Lake Jackson for another couple of years. It was about a 2 hr. drive each way. I would come home dead tired after a 13 - 14 hour day.

I don't recommend it.

But good luck.

If the pay is good enough you could get an apartment near work and eventually transfer your child to a new school there. That would become, in effect, your home and you would commute with your wife and child. Eventually, you could either get a new job in your original location or sell your home.

 

Any company that moves your job that far and doesn't bother to offer to help cover your moving expenses isn't worth working for, and will dump you as soon as they think it expedient to do so. Find another job before that happens.

 

Ticom pretty much sums it up.

I would start shopping the resume immediately. Also, you honestly didn't see any writing on the wall before hand concerning this sudden, current move? I would personally find that alarming -- meaning I wasn't paying attention to the things I should have been paying attention to and let my guard down.

The fact that you still have a job is great, but I wouldn't rest on my laurels. As Ticom said, it's essentially all business as far as the company is concerned and just like them, you need to be looking out for #1.

Good luck.

 

Why do you and your family not move to the new location ?

 

Ummm, it's not exactly easy to just up and sell a house these days.

 

For a year I did a 140 mile commute. I had a studio apartment where the job was and my wife and I alternated commuting on the weekends. Eventually I found a job that was close to home (I only drive 8 minutes each way, now). It's certainly doable, but not easy. If your marriage is solid it shouldn't be a problem, but eventually it will wear on you both.

 

Long distance relationships often fail.
Weekend families are often under stress.
Shift workers come next and that includes long distance commuters.
Even if distance doesn't kill things and you survive to retirement, a few couples find they find they can't face living together 24/7 after a long period of separation or following a part time relationship.

So many factors are involved.
Personally I'd either move my family or move to another job.
Got a worry about money loss moving to a lesser job?
What's better, tight finances or the chance of losing your wife and child?

 

I've been a "geo-bachelor" for 19 months now. It sucks. But here's my situation and experience; maybe it will help you think through your situation.

I'm military, married, with 3 kids. The oldest is a high school senior now. Due to a series of short 1-2 year assignments, my oldest was facing going to 4 high schools. After going to high schools in IL and HI, if my family moved with me she'd have gone to schools in two more states before graduating. Instead, they moved to a home we own from a previous assignment in a good school district and with a support base that was already established (church, neighbors, friends). It was a 9 hour drive from where I ended up, but I drove home every other weekend. It's now a 16 hour drive, so once a month I fly home. I rent the cheapest apartment I could find, not in a great neighborhood, but it's just me and if my place is broken into not much will be stolen.

Fortunately there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In July we'll all move together.

What I've learned:
- It's hard on everyone, but everyone learned to deal with it.
- Staying in touch and connected is tough. My phone has a daily alarm reminding me to call home, and if possible to Facetime, Skype, or Tango. Video chats mean a lot to the kids.
- Texting is very helpful through the day, but we make sure we set aside time to talk every day.
- Having enough nice stuff to still enjoy life at the bachelor pad is important. A good bed, cooking equipment, a good TV, internet connection, help keep me healthy and occupied.
- Staying in shape can be tough; there's no daily motivation to "look good" for the mrs, and the extra load of maintaining a second home (laundry, dishes, groceries, paying bills, etc) plus getting enough work done midweek for weekend trips is time consuming and can make skipping workouts "just this once" turn into a week of being a slackass.
- Proper nutrition is easy to mess up too... temptation to live on beer and frozen pizza.
- My wife has become a single mom by necessity. Merging back into daily family decisions can create friction.
- There's no way I could do this forever. Knowing there's an end in sight makes it livable. Your present situation may force your hand to live apart, but do everything you can to plan to put an end to it. Bear in mind the most affordable rental options usually start with a 1 year lease.

Good luck to all of you. In the short term it's doable, but try to keep it from becoming a long term forever situation.

 

Just my 2 cents but I would factor in the cost of gas, other housing and any other potential expenses against your wage currently and see if you can find a new job that can provide at least a similiar income.

 

My husband worked with a man who did this for a lot of years. He rented a room in the town they worked in, left after work Friday to go home and drove the 100 miles back on Monday morning. It's not for everybody. I would start by renting a room and if it seems to be putting too much of a stress on everybody, make your next plan. Much easier to do when you still have income coming in.

 

Rent a cheap apartment and continue with the job for the time being. But keep an eye out for any job offers closer to home, and take that job when it comes along.

Long distance relationships suck, but being unemployed sucks more.

 

I did it for years either with the military or within telecom, travel was part of the deal to make money you have to be on the road.

In 2008 I was home a whopping 10 days, and not in a row.

So I took a massive pay cut to work locally, but I am home every day now so the trade off was worth it.

I went from over $45/hr plus $200/day per diem to less than $20 an hour....... but I am happier and work is within walking distance from the house.

It also helps that I have my military retirement coming in as well.

Tough position to be in, pay bills or see your kids.

 

Rent out current home and find a rental for family in new work city.

Time lost with family can never be recovered and in SHTF, you will likely be far from them.

 

I have worked in the oil industry all my civilian life. All jobs are "hitch" jobs. Currently I work in Cali, but still live in Louisiana. It ain't bad if it is all you know. Most people I know work the same. If it is important to work, then travelling is not a concern. People have travelled to work for centuries.

 

The same here for me... my commute is 5000 miles - 1 way - every 30 days. I live in Louisiana but work in Brazil. (Originally from Cali) Back when I worked in the GoM, it was 3 hours every 14 days. Everyone here has valid points about finding a new job, failed marriages, etc, but as Marconius stated, if that is what you have done and is all you know (18 years for me) then that is what your family has done and it's all they know. We would probably kill each other if I was there every night. It sucks to be away from them for that long, but I am also with them for 30 days straight - all day and night. I work 6 months out of the year. It's hard to beat that (now that I have been doing it) but it would also be hard for someone and their family to start something like that as well.

Good Luck

 

OP, I take it you weren't offered per diem?

 

No it's a 40 hour week 5 of 7 days. The office is so busy OT per employee is about 15hrs a week and a union contract for 3 years of guaranted work. The drive is 2 hours so I can get home kinda fast is need be but would spend nights away due to working 10-12 hours a day then 4 hours of driving I'd be home just to sleep. Ultimately my wife will decide. I told her if you think we can do this I will go and support the family. If she thinks its to much to deal with we deal with what is left. It's nice to know she wants me around...... Tells me I married the right one

 

keep your current job by any means possible .... even the prospect of a lesser paying and no benefits job could be slim in these times .... think about a RV and a "workers RV park" .... job prospecting is now done thru the internet and usually thru an employment/recruiter agency .... you can do all your prospecting after work and the weekends .... job interview on your Monday AMs or Friday PMs ...... good luck

 

If your marriage is sound it will work. If not your wife or you won't make it. Try it, get a room there and then check out your options. Sometimes the only choice is go where the work is for high pay, or wear a hairnet. I moved with it for years, as do millions of others. Like they say, when you build bridges you gotta go where the bridge is...

 

My family and I survived just fine when I was two states over for a year. Several trips back and forth. The funny thing was it took 6 months just to find a great home before I moved her and kids down anyway. I stayed in hotels, motel 6 (yes they do weekly arrangements), apartments, etc.

We survived just fine no issues. The main thing is communication. Also trips there and trips for them as well.

 

Thanks for that last post Sloth. Most of these gorillas don't seem to realize that a unilateral decision affects more than one person. I am happy that you and your wife discuss these different possibilities.

I think your relationship is solid. No wonder she wants you around.