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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is not a religious discussion, its a SHTF topic that has been devaling me for a long time. Here goes....have you ever died inside, for whatever reason, only to be surprized to find yourself beginning to live again? Maybe its a common experience, just not for me. I have never believed in a mad max SHTF scenerio, that could just be normalcy bias. For me, its always been more mundane. Boring experiences like jobs, finacial bottlenecks, injuries, unexpected deaths....divorces. Situational traumas, mostly personalised but limited to a small group of people..family, friends. But what if its societal? What if its widely shared? It occurs to me that none of us have experienced that personally. Our parents, our grandparents, thier parents......did they die inside in thier SHTF? Will we?

OK, thats all I got. I'm shallow that way. My wife calls it uncivilized. Shes right a very uncomfortable and aggravating amount of the time. For the clueless, like me, can you share with the class?
 

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"You must die a few times in order to really live." Charles Bukowski

Everything is transient, realize this fact. Clinging to beliefs, thoughts is a fools game. Intelligence is way overrated. We all are looking for the same thing, peace of mind, but you already have it, you've only convinced yourself that you have to find it, out there. So we search.
 

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Don't fear the Reaper
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Yeah, I have. In 2005. Some here know about it already, most probably don't.

It is surprising when you finally decide to claw your way out of a hell on earth. It took me YEARS. It's either start clawing or shoot yourself in the head, because you can't keep living in that hell. And believe me, living in an earthly hell is worse than the idea of shooting yourself in the head. Shooting yourself would be blessed relief. Living in an earthly hell diminishes your very soul.

It is like emerging from a long, black, icy cold tunnel where there is no sound, no light, no color, nothing but being utterly alone, being in a void. When you look up, you can see light, hear people, smell fresh green growing things. When you finally emerge, you feel so strange, like you're an alien thing entering a place of beauty and humanity.

You start to feel again. You haven't felt anything but pain pain pain for so long that you mostly forgot what pleasure is. Eating something that tastes good, or the fragrance of a rose, or the softness of your pet's fur. You forgot all those things, and now you can start to experience them again. Which can be overwhelming. It's like someone who has been in the dark so long their eyes can't tolerate the sun. They have to grow accustomed to the sun, bit by bit. Bursting into tears was my relief valve--I'd become overwhelmed at the sight of the moon and stars, or a beautiful sky, a bird, someone smiling at me--at ME--and I'd burst into tears. I was so grateful for those small things, it was like manna for my starving soul.

Dying inside kills your humanity. It kills your body. Your mind. Your feelings. Your sense of self. And your soul.

THAT is what changes a person. Surviving THAT is what forms someone crushed by circumstances into someone who will never be crushed again. I WILL die before I go back to living that way, no matter WHO wants me to, nor how BADLY he wants me to. Wanting to kill someone's soul in that way is utter, depraved evil. It's the act of someone who has no soul. I'd kill myself before I let myself slide back into that hellish pit. I wouldn't kill him, but I would kill myself.
 

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Don't fear the Reaper
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Detached from your body, maybe floating a little above and behind your own head, watching, listening? It's called depersonalization, and it sucks. It can be temporary or a chronic condition, physiological or psychological in origin, or both. And yeah, I felt that way for days, weeks at a time.
 

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After winning the battle against alcohol and drugs some 30 years ago..... practically every other shtf scenario I can think of will be a trip to Disney land compared to what I already put myself through.

Even after 30 years I still am often amazed when I wake up sober and of sound mind.

As others that have btdt know it's a war until you die. After loosing a few battles in the first few years it's been a route for nearly 20 years, proud to say.
 

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I think many of us had bad things happen to us. The guys with ranches and whatnot, not so much. They grew up this way. The rest of us got "thrown out" of the herd of normal individuals, in one way or another. Then we saw this herd from the outside for the first time. We could see new angles. We could see nasty things for the first time, that none of them could see. These nasty things drove me to learning the activities of the traditional ways of life, years ago, and then eventually to this site. I lost my faith in the ability of this society to continue indefinitely.

I used to believe the news. Any mainstream news. If I saw something which contradicted that, I labelled it as conspiracy theory. I couldn't critically think until my point of view changed. I couldn't question effectively. I had no idea how.

I spent years living that way, as an outsider. Then one day, I realized I had done decently in life. I was skilled at my work. I was experienced and I had wisdom for the first time. I became confident. Then the Wife appeared.

I'm happy now, mostly. The kids are a joy. I'm wiser. I act as the grey man quite well at work. I have no interest in the dumb things in life, such as going out at stupid times with stupid people to stupid places. Now nothing stupid happens to me. I know what people are. It doesn't anger me or disgust me anymore. I just accept it.

Being mad at a bear for mauling you is kind of dumb, isn't it? It's just a bear. Stop poking at it.
 

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Born 120 years too late.
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I HAVe been close to death a few times in my life, and not by natural causes, unless you call incoming rounds natural causes.
Each time coming out you are juiced, have a new outlook and a little more bounce in the step.

You do not appreciate living until you have almost lost your life.
We used to sit in the locker room after a VERY BAD day on the street. LOTS of fireworks, only bad people hurt. Look at each other a little and someone would ask "How did we live through that?"
THEN... we would all start laughing....
 

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I am not sure about it during SHTF but I can attest to two times, outside my personal religious beliefs, that I felt reborn.

I will mention one time that I felt reborn. It is the time that my wife and I realized that we are much much better with less stuff. Like a lot of people we know, we suffered from consumerism. Buying stupid stuff just to have stupid stuff. I am not talking about preps or high value quality items. I am talking about pure junk mostly made in China. Why were we buying so much junk? When we stepped back and figure out that we were serving stuff instead of stuff serving us, we started our journey of freedom from junk. Having less and just as important, needing less is a rebirth of sorts for us. Nothing financially caused this rebirth, it was after seeing someone close to us becoming a hoarder that trigger this rebirth. It is not easy but once you start down the road it is freeing to the soul. It is not just stopping from buying cheap chinese stuff, it is also letting go of stuff from my family members that had passed. I felt obligated to keep certain stuff from my past and from past family member no longer alive. Stuff that I thought I treasured, once I removed it from my possession, I did not miss it. I realized that my memories are in my heart not in holding onto items that were not being used and were never going to be used. My biggest regret is not doing this earlier in life.
 

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I am not sure about it during SHTF but I can attest to two times, outside my personal religious beliefs, that I felt reborn.

I will mention one time that I felt reborn. It is the time that my wife and I realized that we are much much better with less stuff. Like a lot of people we know, we suffered from consumerism. Buying stupid stuff just to have stupid stuff. I am not talking about preps or high value quality items. I am talking about pure junk mostly made in China. Why were we buying so much junk? When we stepped back and figure out that we were serving stuff instead of stuff serving us, we started our journey of freedom from junk. Having less and just as important, needing less is a rebirth of sorts for us. Nothing financially caused this rebirth, it was after seeing someone close to us becoming a hoarder that trigger this rebirth. It is not easy but once you start down the road it is freeing to the soul. It is not just stopping from buying cheap chinese stuff, it is also letting go of stuff from my family members that had passed. I felt obligated to keep certain stuff from my past and from past family member no longer alive. Stuff that I thought I treasured, once I removed it from my possession, I did not miss it. I realized that my memories are in my heart not in holding onto items that were not being used and were never going to be used. My biggest regret is not doing this earlier in life.
Amen and Well said!
 

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It has happened many times in many parts of the world across history, but societies go back to what they did and worse as they advanced technologically.

But future SHTF will be significantly different. It won't likely be something like Mad Max but more like Testament and The Day After leading to Threads and The Road, where even friends and relatives will turn on each other.

About buying junk, that's been going on for more than a century, and involved many countries:


The same applies to the money used to buy all of that junk as part of "freedom," which increased readily after 1982:

 

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Detached from your body, maybe floating a little above and behind your own head, watching, listening? It's called depersonalization, and it sucks. It can be temporary or a chronic condition, physiological or psychological in origin, or both. And yeah, I felt that way for days, weeks at a time.
It can be frightening, for sure. In many other cultures it is seen as a good thing too. Jesus taught us self awareness, as did the Buddha, but with time it has taken on a different meaning. Enlightenment, spirituality, and woke are bull**** terms. You can never know yourself, you can only be yourself. Those who claim enlightenment don't have it. Don't follow them.

Tat Tvam Asi is a mantra, hindu for "though art that", meaning you're it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
It has happened many times in many parts of the world across history, but societies go back to what they did and worse as they advanced technologically.

But future SHTF will be significantly different. It won't likely be something like Mad Max but more like Testament and The Day After leading to Threads and The Road, where even friends and relatives will turn on each other.

About buying junk, that's been going on for more than a century, and involved many countries:


The same applies to the money used to buy all of that junk as part of "freedom," which increased readily after 1982:

Krugman is a modern miracle.....consistantly wrong but an oracle for many. Didnt he also get a nobel for something he apparently sucks at, economics??? At least they get a cash prize too.....
 

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Krugman is a modern miracle.....consistantly wrong but an oracle for many. Didnt he also get a nobel for something he apparently sucks at, economics??? At least they get a cash prize too.....
He and his opponents were all modern miracles, as they tried to ignore the phenomenon that a country that creates the global reserve currency will in the long term experience heavy borrowing and spending.
 

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Wearing fur underwears...
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Yeah, I have. In 2005. Some here know about it already, most probably don't.

It is surprising when you finally decide to claw your way out of a hell on earth. It took me YEARS. It's either start clawing or shoot yourself in the head, because you can't keep living in that hell. And believe me, living in an earthly hell is worse than the idea of shooting yourself in the head. Shooting yourself would be blessed relief. Living in an earthly hell diminishes your very soul.

It is like emerging from a long, black, icy cold tunnel where there is no sound, no light, no color, nothing but being utterly alone, being in a void. When you look up, you can see light, hear people, smell fresh green growing things. When you finally emerge, you feel so strange, like you're an alien thing entering a place of beauty and humanity.

You start to feel again. You haven't felt anything but pain pain pain for so long that you mostly forgot what pleasure is. Eating something that tastes good, or the fragrance of a rose, or the softness of your pet's fur. You forgot all those things, and now you can start to experience them again. Which can be overwhelming. It's like someone who has been in the dark so long their eyes can't tolerate the sun. They have to grow accustomed to the sun, bit by bit. Bursting into tears was my relief valve--I'd become overwhelmed at the sight of the moon and stars, or a beautiful sky, a bird, someone smiling at me--at ME--and I'd burst into tears. I was so grateful for those small things, it was like manna for my starving soul.

Dying inside kills your humanity. It kills your body. Your mind. Your feelings. Your sense of self. And your soul.

THAT is what changes a person. Surviving THAT is what forms someone crushed by circumstances into someone who will never be crushed again. I WILL die before I go back to living that way, no matter WHO wants me to, nor how BADLY he wants me to. Wanting to kill someone's soul in that way is utter, depraved evil. It's the act of someone who has no soul. I'd kill myself before I let myself slide back into that hellish pit. I wouldn't kill him, but I would kill myself.

An interesting read on suicide.
 
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