Would you be intrested in a man who has kids?
I was just curious how you women/ladies feel about dating and/or marrying a guy who already has kids.
Hi Wolf2000I have dated a few men who had children. One of those men was a custodial parent. A total of six children involved, and all the kids were well-behaved, respectable and we got along well. This relationship lasted a few years, so we went through the teen years, holidays, family get-togethers, summer vacations, sickness and hospital visits, school functions, etc. Great kids.
The 'problems' were definately not the children, the 'problem' was excessive drinking on the part of their father at adult social occasions. And all the obnoxious, putrid, and boorish behavior that manifests because of it. A true dealbreaker. Turning moody when he drank and then carrying that piggish attitude back home to the kids. I hate drunkards. Passive/agressive crap and all that. Eventual dealbreaker. I stuck it four years, but ended up leaving.
But I digress...
My Dad became our custodial parent when I was 12. My youngest sibling was just out of toddlerhood. Dad had to learn a few things, but he did and we are all better for it. He took excellant care of us. Including our Mom, too, when she needed help, even though she made things really hard for him when they split. Today, everyone gets along, shares holidays and family events, and etc. My Mom never dated again, Dad did, but we only ever met 2 of his girlfriends. Us kids are all in our 40's, now. I don't have children, because I haven't found someone I was comfortable enough to have them with.
Hi Countryboy. I don't have children. Now if I have to pick between the man who sits home every night with his children and struggles paycheck to paycheck, and the guy who sends off a check once a month and hits the bar every week, who do you think I'm going to choose? I know who the real man is. Don't be puttin us all in one basket.
I know you have your views on male/female roles, etc. I'm a single female, my bills are all paid, and Dad taught me how to take care of myself. I have my own money and a lot of skills normally considered the domain of males. My Dad taught me how to make sure I could handle things by myself, same as my brothers. I learned everything they did, plus all the girly stuff. Only thing he didn't want me to do was join the service, his feeling was that women didn't belong. I respected him on that, although now I wish I had that experience. I went to ag college.
I judge a man on how he cares for his children, his parents, his job and the relationships he has w/ his siblings and his childrens' mother. I want to see a cordial or at least civil relationship between them or I don't want to be involved because it will invariably affect ours. On the other hand, if she is a drug addict or drunkard, that selfishness coupled with the fact that she probably associates with other undesireables is going to make me wonder if you were or are like this also. The women you were describing earlier are lowlife zeros to be suggesting that you would be a good catch if you were child-free. While I feel bad for you at the onset, the fact that there are more than one of them has me questioning your choice in women in general, after all, or at least where you are meeting them (bars, etc.). In fact, if you were non-custodial and I found out that you were throwing away all your kid weekends to see me instead, I would have no interest in you at all. See what I'm getting at, generalizations about someone I don't even know.
I haven't dated in awhile. My reason, I guess, is subconciously I'm not really feelin' it. I think at this point I'm afraid of the same things many men are. I don't want a relationship failing and then I have to start worrying about my stuff, ID theft, all those things that guys worry about. I live simply, but what I have is mine. I made my living in a man's world (press operator, driver, machinist, etc.) because that's where the money was, and I was on my own. I had some more traditional female jobs, but they didn't pay, and women are catty as heck to work with. I'm not 'butch' by any stretch of the imagination, I like my dresses and makeup and such, but I just could not function in most office environments.
I'm sooo lucky, my Dad made sure I could use any type of hand and power tool, operate any type of construction and farming equipment, weld and use a cutting torch, shoot & reload, fell trees, build things, handle livestock, etc., and I'm on my way to a CDL, too, and I'm an EMT, so I have some useable skills. I find that many men feel threatened by this, and that has hindered my dating prospects in the past at times. Of course, I can still sew my own clothes, garden, cook and clean and all, but it didn't seem to matter.
Oh, well I guess, maybe in the next life...
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