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Libertarian Berzerker
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If I am wearing pants, I have a knife. My liberal friends think it’s weird. But they won’t let their cat outside because it has been declawed. If it would be cruel to let a cat into the wide world without any means of protecting itself, I feel like I need at least as much protection as a cat. My knife has two edges. I use the back edge for opening envelopes and cutting up cardboard. The front edge is reserved for combat: that one time when a cat needs its claws. I have never used the front edge, until today.

I was driving to the bank. I don’t know if I was speeding or not. The bank was going to close in a half hour; I remember being focused on that. I never got to the bank. A deer lunged out in front of me from nowhere, and I hit it with my car. Its legs were broken. It hobbled to the side of the road and collapsed. I sat in my car, blocking the road. I wasn’t hurt, but I was in shock. I was shaking. A dog walker with three dogs on leashes saw me hit the deer, and he stopped and stood still, holding his dogs back. The deer was conscious and alert, with his head up, looking at us. Two men, three dogs, and a deer, none of us moving, just staring at each other. Nobody knew what to do. I sat in my car for probably five minutes. Finally I got out of my car. The dog walker asked, “Do you have a gun?” I said no. He said, “I usually carry one, but I left it home today. I have a knife.”

When he said that, it occurred to me that I had a knife as well. I don’t know if he was offering me his knife or if he was offering to do the deed for me, but all I really needed from him was the suggestion. I have killed 16 deer with my rifle; I know their anatomy. I flicked open my knife. I walked up to the deer, gently stroked its neck, and then plunged my knife into its heart. It was horrible. I was soaked in arterial spray; my arm was drenched up to the shoulder, and my pants and shirt and face were splattered with blood. The deer sprang to its feet, knocking me flat, and hobbled maybe 20 feet, spraying blood everywhere, before it collapsed again. I ran over and stabbed it six more times in the heart.

By this time, three other cars were stopped, and a lot of people were staring at me like I was some kind of monster. They drove past me very slowly, staring at me, not at the dead deer. I was dripping with blood, and they were not hiding their horror. None of them were more distressed than I was. The dog walker was visibly upset, but I felt like he was the only person who wasn’t judging me. He had seen the whole thing. All the other people had seen was some crazy person repeatedly stabbing a deer.

I dragged the body off the road. The dog walker shook his head sadly and continued on his way. I had a towel that I wiped my hands with and then sat on so I didn’t get blood all over the upholstery. I turned my car around and drove home. I found my wife in the garden and told her what happened. Her response was calm and sweet. “Well, go get it.”

I didn’t want any more blood in my car, so I got in my pickup and returned to the scene of the crime just in time to see another guy lifting the deer into the bed of his pickup. I got out of my car and said quietly, “I killed that deer.” He just looked at me, without hostility but also without any inclination to give me the deer. We just stared at each other for what seemed like a minute. For the second time that day, I didn’t know what to do. Then he smiled and said, “My girlfriend has never butchered a deer before and she really wants to learn how to do it.” I looked over at his girlfriend and she smiled too. I said, “Well, as long as it doesn’t go to waste.” He said, “Oh, it won’t. We’re gonna eat it.” I nodded and got back in my truck.

As it turned out, it was a good thing he took the deer. I wasn’t emotionally in any shape to handle a butchering job, or much of anything else. I sat in the kitchen and shook for an hour and a half before I even could take a shower. Last year, my best friend and I both shot bucks at first light opening day, and we had both deer skinned, butchered, ground up, vacuum sealed and in the freezer by nine a.m. That was an efficient assembly-line operation with both our wives pulling their weight. But shooting a deer is very, very different from stabbing it to death.

I’m writing this while still processing what happened. I’m sharing this with y’all acting as my shrink. Please be kind.

I do feel like I learned a few things. Here’s a list:
1. Killing something with a knife is really easy. Afterwards, it’s hard. Since I carry a knife primarily for self-defense, I’ve wondered before what happens when you stab a ribcage. Is it like stabbing a tree, where just the tip goes in, or is it like stabbing a watermelon, where it goes to the hilt and beyond? Now I can tell you, it is like stabbing a watermelon. In Oregon, it is illegal to carry a knife concealed if the blade is more than four inches long. It’s a silly rule. Four inches is plenty.
2. Carry a gun. A knife does the trick, but good lord. Just as a side note, there is no option of lying or deniability or changing your story if you use a knife. You did what you did and there is no backing out of it.
3. A thin, narrow blade is better than a thick, wide one. If I hit bone at all, I wasn’t aware of it. I think a wider blade might be more likely to get caught up on the ribs. I think a single-edged blade would not have worked as well as a double-edged, if for no other reason than that the front edge was unused and really, really sharp. For those who are morbidly interested, my knife is a Microtek Ultratech automatic double-action OTF. If you carry a knife every day, and you wouldn’t think twice about spending four hundred dollars on a gun, why not spend that much on a knife?
4. Bend your arm a little. I had my arm bent for the first six stabs but it was straight on the seventh and I over-extended it. I’ll be feeling that for awhile.
5. Sorry if I traumatized anybody. Thanks for listening.
 

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Over and Out
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4,887 Posts
...Her response was calm and sweet. “Well, go get it.”..
Best part of the story.. Got'cherself a Good Woman, there, Congrats.. :thumb:

..Well-understand the 'need to spill', we're all happy to 'hold the bucket for ya', You'll be fine, now.. Good you got some fresh 'practice' / have data to Learn from, for the future.. My bet is yer gonna Need such 'skills', and far more than you'll care to, but.. Gotta Do what ya gotta do.. :cool:

PS - Also, if, for whatever wierd reason, ya can't have yer CC on you again, at Least toss a Heavy-weight aluminum baseball-bat, or old heavy-iron golf club in the trunk.. And/or a Firemans Axe (the Pick-side is pretty indomitable..) Distance, between you and (whatever) 'enemy' is Wisdom... :cool:

Cheers..
jd
 

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Your lucky that deer didn't mess you up.

My pops was gored after shooting a big six pointer. It piled up and he figured it was drt. Not so. He approached, grabbed an antler to roll it over on its back, and one head shake put a tine directly in his armpit. He jumped back in time to avoid serious injury, but still....

Had a husky that loved running deer. He actually caught a doe once and she went to her back all for legs kicking. Dog ended up with broken ribs, and needed surgery to put his nose back in order. He never chased any deer after that.

Wild animals, especially injured wild animals are a lot more powerful and capable of putting the hurt on people than most would imagine.

Hats off too you sir, but I wouldn't approach a full grown deer that was alive after getting hit with a car. Certainly wouldn't get close enough to use a knife.
 

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I'm not a prepper
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1,377 Posts
I witnessed a similar situation but a hammer was used instead of a knife. It was a lot less messy. The neighbor offered me some venison the next day. So at least it didn't go to waste.
 

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You hunt, but didn't know enough to cut the deers throat? Did you process any of the deer you have taken?

Seems to me you learn very quickly what it takes to cut through the rib cage when processing. You also learn to cut the throat to at least drain the blood from the carcass not too mention often times to give the animal a quicker more humane death.

I'm not going to go as far as to call bs, but at the very least I have to say that was one very strange post that doesn't make a lot of sense to me...
 

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Libertarian Berzerker
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149 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for the feedback. I just got back from having dinner with my veterinarian. I told him about what happened, and he said, as several of you mentioned, that I would have done well to cut its throat. He said the deer died faster the way I did it than it would have if I had cut its throat, but the jugular doesn't spray like that; I wouldn't have been soaked in blood.

One of you didn't read my post carefully. As I indicated earlier, I know how a deer is put together; I have butchered 16 of them. The first one, I cut its throat "to drain the blood out" because my silly uncle told me to. When I took it to the taxidermist, he explained that I had needlessly ruined a perfectly good trophy. He also explained that a heart shot drains the body of blood faster than cutting a throat does, and that if the animal is already dead, cutting its throat accomplishes nothing because nothing comes out if the heart isn't pumping. If it isn't dead, then you need to shoot it again. There is never a reason to cut an animal's throat if you have a gun. And he was right; when I cut the throat on my first deer, nothing came out because the animal was already dead and all the blood had drained out when I shot him in the heart. So the next 15 deer that I shot, I didn't cut their throats, and I have some very nice trophies on my wall. The meat was fine, too. So the only reason anybody cuts a deer's throat after a successful hunt is because their silly uncle told them to. In this particular case, though, it would have been a good idea.
 

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Comic, not your lawyer!
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15,324 Posts
Excellent post for consideration.

Personally, if I didn't have a gun (which would be very unusual as I'm armed everywhere legal to be armed), I'd have called the police to dispatch it.

I don't think I'd want to have to kill a deer with a pocket knife. If I were forced to, I'd have probably slit it's throat. Seems faster, more reliable, and less risk of failure. Stabbing into a chest with a short knife seems to be a recipe for slow death and failure.

Anyway, hope the trauma of it passes. The takeaways:

* Drive with more caution
* Carry a gun - for defense, but also for dispatching road injured wildlife.
 

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You hunt, but didn't know enough to cut the deers throat? Did you process any of the deer you have taken?

Seems to me you learn very quickly what it takes to cut through the rib cage when processing. You also learn to cut the throat to at least drain the blood from the carcass not too mention often times to give the animal a quicker more humane death.

I'm not going to go as far as to call bs, but at the very least I have to say that was one very strange post that doesn't make a lot of sense to me...
I share the feeling. Doesn't really make sense. Even city dwellers know the shallowest vitals are in the neck... So this guy is a hunter and knows less?

Also, he describes a fully double edged folder (because you certainly would not cut cardboard with a mere clip), yet he calls the other edge "the front edge". This is someone who knows nothing about knives (or stabbing deer), as demonstrated by two further clues: He thinks there are double edged folders long enough to even make you think of chest-stabbing deer "into the heart", or that these things are common enough to fly by us without make and model, which around here is pretty much the seal of death as far as this phony story is concerned...

Let's take heart that we are apparently cool enough to have wannabes spin stories to us... I feel like a grizzled ex-Special Forces vet all of sudden...;)

Gaston
 

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Thanks for the feedback. I just got back from having dinner with my veterinarian. I told him about what happened, and he said, as several of you mentioned, that I would have done well to cut its throat. He said the deer died faster the way I did it than it would have if I had cut its throat, but the jugular doesn't spray like that; I wouldn't have been soaked in blood.

Cutting a deers throat is a very fast way to kill a deer or any animal for that matter, it literally takes seconds for the animal to lose consciousness.

So according to your vet stabbing a deer six or seven times through the chest to hit it's heart and bleed it out is faster than cutting the base of it's neck? You mention the heart pumping out most of the blood, you do realize that the heart will pump out most of the blood when you cut the neck as well right?

You mention keeping the animal as a trophy "apparently" as a good reason not to cut the neck and ruin said trophy. You can just as easily cut the neck below where you wish for mounting.

It is interesting that you were so concerned about being able to keep the animal as a trophy so you stabbed it 6 or 7 times in the chest but you didn't think to go back and get the animal until your wife brought it up to you.

As for my uncle teaching me to cut the throat of animals, well no he didn't teach me that. I did see my father and grandfather and dozens of people on the ranches and farms that grew up on doing it though. In fact out of the 300 or so people that I know that process animals I don't know a single one that doesn't cut the throat of an animal to drain it of blood.

I will fully admit that I haven't even processed a deer in about 4 years I have been concentrating on hogs, I have four teenagers that eat through about 100 pounds of meat a month and deer just don't supply enough meat. So instead I have processed just over 20 oversized hogs over the last 4 years and left the deer to everyone to else. Either way though, whether it be a deer, elk, moose, bear, goat, sheep, cow, chicken or rabbit, all of which I have slaughtered and processed you preferably want to drain the animal of any remaining blood.
 

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Author, prepper, father
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It kind of remind me of some of those letters to Penthouse I read in my misspent youth....where if the actual dimensions were true the fellow would have passed out from blood loss before being able to do anything....
 

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LEGAL citizen
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15,269 Posts
I thought that usually cutting the throat was faster as it takes the blood from the brain. Also allows you to stand where you don’t get sprayed.
Cut the throat and let the heart pump the blood out of the body for you. Especially if you don't have it hanging. But, still edible all the same...

Who cares about passing motorists. If they have any integrity, they would have stopped to make sure you were okay.
 
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