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As a volunteer at our local food bank my heart goes out to this guy. We see this kind of thing every day. My experiences there make me ever more vigilant about not ending up in his shoes.
 

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Knocked Down But Up Again
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Is anyone else out there a little less sure of their hold on what they presently have? I don't feel all that confident all of a sudden.
 

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I want to say that's probably one of the best articles I've read in a very long time.

I don't like to divulge my personal life too much, not to casual acquaintances, and especially not on the internet. However I'd like to share a portion of my life with all of you.

About 10 years ago I found myself homeless. I had a full time job, but I was going through a very nasty divorce with a person who thought an awesome contact sport was bouncing my head off of walls. I was married to him for 5 years...it seems like a short amount of time, but once the honeymoon was over, that 5 years was an eternity. The only way I could get out was to 'get out' while the attorney's haggled over details. I got rid of some stuff and put the rest in a storage unit. I still had my Chevy S-10 and that's what I lived in.

I was determined to pay my bills. The way I saw it, my attorney was my only friend and I made darned sure I paid him on time. I took on two part time jobs as well. I worked my regular job from 8am to 5pm Monday through Friday. I went to my second job from midnight to 6 am...went to my truck got two hours of sleep then went to the first job. The third job was on Saturdays from 11 to 3. A friend let me come to her apartment to shower and wash clothes..for which she charged me $200 a month. She wasn't much of a friend but at the time I was desperate so I did what I needed to do.

I didn't eat much. I lost a lot of weight. For fun I would go to my storage unit, go inside, close the door, sit on the floor and cry.

I can tell you in complete honesty that I do not drink, or do drugs. Never have and never will. That was not a factor in why I ended up where I was. People are usually appalled at the amount of physical abuse a psychotic husband can dish out. From someone who's been there, the psychological pounding I took was by far worse. You'd probably be amazed at a family's reaction to a situation like this. I was stunned by mine. Most of the people whom I trusted and finally confided in didn't believe me and called me a liar.
He had successfully isolated me and I covered up for him. So there was no help for me.

We can discuss for hours the why's and wherefores of domestic abuse.

When I was going through my period of homelessness, I blamed mostly myself. The point is I took responsibility for where I had failed.

My reason for telling you about the ex is to let you know that there are a myriad of reasons for finding yourself in a desperate situation.

As I see it, no matter what precautions you take, we are all a trip and a slip from homelessness. My heart bleeds for people who are going through this.
If you recover and end up back on your feet, you'll never be the same. You'll never look at the world the way you did before. Your perspective radically changes. You will emerge a different person. Sometimes that's not a bad thing.
 

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Agent of Influence
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1,938 Posts
Homelessness is very scary, and it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are, how smart or secure, it can happen to almost anyone.

That feeling of not having somewhere of your own is a searing one, the sense of vunerability and insecurity. Unfortunately i think a lot more decent people are going to find themselves in that position as economic problems compound. I don't have any easy or pat answers, i'm afraid.
 
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