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Discussion Starter #1
Not written by #1034, but found and posted by #1034

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce... I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and ********. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country
 

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Gravity is a Theory.
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3,211 Posts
See ya later.

I think you should all live in Texas and build a big fence so no one can bother you ever again. That would make my day.
 

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Ooh, pancakes!
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3,046 Posts
I've thought about this too, and read a column by Walter Williams about it last year. even John Edwards says there are "two Americas"...and he's right (for once). It's probably time we simply recognize that fact, and go our own ways amicably. The big problem is how to divide the US landmass. Here's a first swing at it.

Pick a line of latitude such that exactly half the landmass of the contiguous USA is on either side. The liberals can have everything to the north of the line, conservatives everything to the south. More liberals live in north than south and vice versa for conservatives anyway. This retains both countries' access to both coasts. Here are some of the issues:

1) We'd get Florida, which the libs might want. However, we also get the Mexico border, which is a huge headache, and once they have their progressive paradise they don't need all those Mexican votes to secure power anymore. I think we're better equipped to properly secure that border anyway.

2) We'd get most of California. They'd hate that. Though we could give up most of California (we need some of it to give us Pacific access) in exchange for Florida and, drum roll...Alaska. We'd also let them have Hawaii to even things out. They can have Puerto Rico, we'll keep Guam and Wake Island.

3) They can have ALL foreign military bases (what do conservatives need with bases on foreign soil) but the hardware there get split (individual soldiers make their own choices). I think that there are more military bases in the southern USA anyway, so that evens out a bit. We no longer have the huge expense of maintaining ourselves as the world's police. If the libs want to try, they have the bases.

4) Nukes get split, NBC material gets split down to the gram. That leaves both countries in the superpower business, though I suspect the north will dismantle 95% of their nukes ASAP. All super double top secret information is copied and each gets a set. Super double top secret hardware is split as evenly as possible. Where not possible, one may get the hardware but the other gets copies of all the research and design specs.

5) I think the north will get more good farmland, but they will suck at using it and we'll still outproduce them on food.

As for people, folks are free to sell their property and move to the other side for a period of (for example) one year. This gives them a chance to sell property, find a new job, etc. If they are really fast with those things, they can even try the side they picked (for wishy washy types) and change their minds if they don't like it.

This is actually a fun thought experiment.
 

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Registered
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265 Posts
good riddance!
dont let the door hit your rightwing nut-c*se a***s on your way out!

I take affordabe healt care, low prices and good standing up-road over
the right-wing rep. nonsense we have been subjected to under gwb!
pay on your way out for the damage you done by 911, Iraq & Afghanistan wars by you and your illuminated friends!
 

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VA / NC
Joined
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12,688 Posts
See ya later.

I think you should all live in Texas and build a big fence so no one can bother you ever again. That would make my day.
Two fences - on the north and southside. To the south to keep illegals out, and to the north to keep liberals out.

Better yet, place liberals between illegals and conservatives. This way the conservatives have the advantage of only building one fence to the south.

The liberals also benefit by having others who want something for nothing, and someone to share a certain brand of soft drinks while listening to eight track tapes of "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing."
 

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Christian mingler
Joined
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7,381 Posts
Not written by #1034, but found and posted by #1034

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce... I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and ********. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country
I reccommended this months ago, and everyone gave me frowny faces. The liberals can have the coasts, the republicans can take the mountains states and texas, and the rest of us will take over the midwest.
 

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Weed 'em and reap
Joined
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30,741 Posts
I've thought about this too, and read a column by Walter Williams about it last year. even John Edwards says there are "two Americas"...and he's right (for once). It's probably time we simply recognize that fact, and go our own ways amicably. The big problem is how to divide the US landmass. Here's a first swing at it.

Pick a line of latitude such that exactly half the landmass of the contiguous USA is on either side. The liberals can have everything to the north of the line, conservatives everything to the south. More liberals live in north than south and vice versa for conservatives anyway. This retains both countries' access to both coasts. Here are some of the issues:

1) We'd get Florida, which the libs might want. However, we also get the Mexico border, which is a huge headache, and once they have their progressive paradise they don't need all those Mexican votes to secure power anymore. I think we're better equipped to properly secure that border anyway.

2) We'd get most of California. They'd hate that. Though we could give up most of California (we need some of it to give us Pacific access) in exchange for Florida and, drum roll...Alaska. We'd also let them have Hawaii to even things out. They can have Puerto Rico, we'll keep Guam and Wake Island.

3) They can have ALL foreign military bases (what do conservatives need with bases on foreign soil) but the hardware there get split (individual soldiers make their own choices). I think that there are more military bases in the southern USA anyway, so that evens out a bit. We no longer have the huge expense of maintaining ourselves as the world's police. If the libs want to try, they have the bases.

4) Nukes get split, NBC material gets split down to the gram. That leaves both countries in the superpower business, though I suspect the north will dismantle 95% of their nukes ASAP. All super double top secret information is copied and each gets a set. Super double top secret hardware is split as evenly as possible. Where not possible, one may get the hardware but the other gets copies of all the research and design specs.

5) I think the north will get more good farmland, but they will suck at using it and we'll still outproduce them on food.

As for people, folks are free to sell their property and move to the other side for a period of (for example) one year. This gives them a chance to sell property, find a new job, etc. If they are really fast with those things, they can even try the side they picked (for wishy washy types) and change their minds if they don't like it.

This is actually a fun thought experiment.
You're going to trust them with WMD's and Top Secret Intel? We'd better get to researching to make it all obsolete before they sell it.
 

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Ooh, pancakes!
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3,046 Posts
Why not just have a vote, Red states become Red, Blues become Blue....simple.
Um...do you really want to live in a country consisting of two industrial coasts that are completely separated by 2000 miles, with very little agricultural land or mineral assets? That's basically what the blues would have...an ungovernable and strategically FUBAR nation geographically. My way proposed above actually gives you a lot better, more governable country than your suggestion.
 

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Ooh, pancakes!
Joined
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3,046 Posts
You're going to trust them with WMD's and Top Secret Intel? We'd better get to researching to make it all obsolete before they sell it.
Ha, good point. My suggestion was meant to be a serious "what if" though, and was meant to make an equitable and fair distribution of USA assets. If we really wanted to we could kill all the liberals Rwanda style and take the whole damn thing, since few of them are armed.* But I don't think anybody really would want that. I just want them to go their way peacefully and us to go ours.

* I'm betting this sentence makes the next "domestic terrorism report" without any of the surrounding text. Any takers? :rolleyes:
 

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Wide awake
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1,963 Posts
I reccommended this months ago, and everyone gave me frowny faces. The liberals can have the coasts, the republicans can take the mountains states and texas, and the rest of us will take over the midwest.
We'd need a sea port to go kick @$$ when we absolutely had to, but the southeast will probably stick with us.
 

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Registered
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1,276 Posts
good riddance!
dont let the door hit your rightwing nut-c*se a***s on your way out!

I take affordabe healt care, low prices and good standing up-road over
the right-wing rep. nonsense we have been subjected to under gwb!
pay on your way out for the damage you done by 911, Iraq & Afghanistan wars by you and your illuminated friends!
If you think GWB was a right wing conservative then I see your (mental) problem. BTW if you think GWB was a conservative I have some very nice ocean front property in AZ for sale - interested?

How long do you think health care will be "low"? It has bankrupted every country that has tried it - save perhaps Cuba. Hope you like "Little House on the Prairie/Cuban" level medicine amigo. My apologies to Doc Baker.
 

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Chains keep us together.
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22,136 Posts
Don't need a divorce, just a separation for awhile. Let the states have there independence and get the federal gov. under control and out of the states bussiness. People will move where the jobs/work is. the pink states will see the error of their ways without the fed. gov. to coddle them. And stavka will go back to mother russia.
 

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Why not just have a vote, Red states become Red, Blues become Blue....simple.
I'd improve on that and refine it a tad more. Have your vote. They get the landmass of counties they carry, we get the landmass of counties we carry.

It looks something like this:

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/wo...ds/2008/11/2008-election-county-by-county.png

Add up their total land mass, our total land mass. I think you will find that they can be given about 1/3 of the total landmass of the US. Since they are already in the NE, give them that area. The rest is ours. :)
 

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VA / NC
Joined
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12,688 Posts
Don't need a divorce, just a separation for awhile. Let the states have there independence and get the federal gov. under control and out of the states bussiness. People will move where the jobs/work is. the pink states will see the error of their ways without the fed. gov. to coddle them. And stavka will go back to mother russia.
But after they see the error of their ways and failures, they will want to rejoin us and have someone pay off all their debts and correct all their failed policies.
 
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