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bad grammar deal with it
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Discussion Starter #1
ive had the prepping talk with my wife three times now and its not taking lol.....i had called her sat and we were talking and she had told me the week before that i could invest a few (2) grand in the stock market when i called this sat she was trying to dissuade me from it because of the way things are with the economy. she had sent me and email and while her and i were talking i sent her this email

i actually wanted to talk to you about something. nothing bad you may think im slightly crazy but i thought that had already been established. anywho.....what i want to talk to you about is not just about the economy, the global market, its more of a general topic. as you have no doubtedly notice we are in a deep recession right now. over the past week watching CNN or looking at the stocks on the internet ive seen the stock market dip to 8010 points. in the last week it has dropped 2400 points. California and another state(i cant recall at the moment) are needing loans to pay the states bills or they will go bankrupt. the global market itself is actually in a recession and the leaders of the 7 global markets have convened in washington to talk about options. On the plus side oil is below 90$ a barrel. you worry about me investing in the stock market and while things are bad right now thursday and friday each traded more than 2 million shares which is good. its a sign that while people are nervous things are still moving just slowly. the purpose for all this not just because i want you to know that i have been obsessing over the market the last like 10 days. the bottom line is id like to be ready for things in general whether it be a hurricane, blizzard, loss of employment things of that nature. i dont see a reason why we shouldnt have a plan to deal with these. hurricane ike taught us alot and the same time we wouldve been screwed if i didnt have all the money from being deployed. there are certain things we can do to be prepared for local emergencies or natural disasters. i think youve finally reached a point where your more open to these ideas because of whats going on with the market and the recent hurricane. id like for us to get back to basics do more camping, goto the shooting range, and just overall be more reliant on ourselves than others. i really want to know what you think about this so let me know id like to talk about it.

she responded with this

Ok Dude, seriously... what the hell was all that about? You sound like some wacko politition. I am sure that in some far off world, recessions and stock markets and camping fit together and make perfect sense but in the world I live in it doesn't. So you want to go camping because the economy is falling? Hmmmm.... ummmm ok.
You really lost me there. I am not sure what I am supposed to respond to so maybe you can clear that up.

so where did i go wrong? after i got that email i just told her nevermind about it because it seemed like she was already closed minded about it. any suggestions.

thanks

ps sorry for the long read
 

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I love this *****
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First of all, you planted a seed. That's a good thing. I like to open my wife's mind by asking her questions in the form of "what if." I ask her what she would do if this happened or that happened. Where would she go or what would she eat. I also like to bring up historical examples of SHTF scenarios like the Great Depression of last century or, like you already did, natural disasters like Katrina or Mt. St. Helens.

You have to spoon feed people. Say a few words about the situation then let it go for awhile. I have a friend at work who thought I was nuts a year ago when I told him that I was going to start preparing for an economic collapse. He's a staunch Republican and plays the market. Typical yuppie. 2 months ago he bought his first gun. 3 days ago he told me that he's started stockpiling food "just in case."

A person doesn't gain a PhD overnight. It's one step at a time.
 
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As a woman reading your email to your wife, you seemed to be "reacting" to circumstance, in this case the economy. She probably thinks you're getting scared and overreacting, and I can see where that would worry her. You might be better off to be preventive, not reactive. Just give her a few simple words about planning for higher prices, and slowly start adding a few canned goods to the pantry each week. If you go right out and spend 2 grand on ammo and 5 gallon buckets full of seed, you're going to freak her out. Instead, stock up on a few good sales items "in case the price goes up later." Start putting back a few extra dollars in cash in a safe place. If you have your own space somewhere, say in the basement, or garage, or workshop, where she doesn't really go, make or set aside a few shelves and add a little bit of emergency preps each week.

My advice is just do it slowly on your own but don't make a big deal out of it, and don't try to force her to go camping or to the shooting range against her will.
 

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Just use a 2x4
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First of all, you planted a seed. That's a good thing. I like to open my wife's mind by asking her questions in the form of "what if." I ask her what she would do if this happened or that happened. Where would she go or what would she eat. I also like to bring up historical examples of SHTF scenarios like the Great Depression of last century or, like you already did, natural disasters like Katrina or Mt. St. Helens.

You have to spoon feed people. Say a few words about the situation then let it go for awhile. I have a friend at work who thought I was nuts a year ago when I told him that I was going to start preparing for an economic collapse. He's a staunch Republican and plays the market. Typical yuppie. 2 months ago he bought his first gun. 3 days ago he told me that he's started stockpiling food "just in case."

A person doesn't gain a PhD overnight. It's one step at a time.
It's taken me 3 years to get my husband mostly on board. Some days he's totally there, other days he seems to slip back into his coma.... But overall there's progress.

You just have to take baby steps.
 

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bad grammar deal with it
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Discussion Starter #5
As a woman reading your email to your wife, you seemed to be "reacting" to circumstance, in this case the economy. She probably thinks you're getting scared and overreacting, and I can see where that would worry her. You might be better off to be preventive, not reactive. Just give her a few simple words about planning for higher prices, and slowly start adding a few canned goods to the pantry each week. If you go right out and spend 2 grand on ammo and 5 gallon buckets full of seed, you're going to freak her out. Instead, stock up on a few good sales items "in case the price goes up later." Start putting back a few extra dollars in cash in a safe place. If you have your own space somewhere, say in the basement, or garage, or workshop, where she doesn't really go, make or set aside a few shelves and add a little bit of emergency preps each week.

My advice is just do it slowly on your own but don't make a big deal out of it, and don't try to force her to go camping or to the shooting range against her will.
well my wife does like doing the outdoors things ie fishing, hunting, camping and what not. i do see where i may have come reactive but i just started the prepping and actually sinking a good deal of money into prepping. realistically the goal was more to show her that i was paying attention to the market so i could do some investing as well as give example of some of the alarming things going on.
 

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Permanently gone
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Commonguy...you are deployed overseas right now?
If so, instead of throwing your hard earned dollars into the stock market, start ordering prep supplies and have them delivered to your home in the states. Tell your wife to store them in the garage, under the bed, in the spare room, whatever.
Don't go overboard, just go for basics.
You can order wheat, beans and rice from the LDS church website and they do not charge for shipping! Around 40 dollars for a case (Six #10 cans per case)
Two cases each per person would be darn near a (low ration) years supply of food!
Order a grain grinder. (Goodmans.com look under Universal products)
Order a decent water filter/purifier. (Plenty of those online, google it!)
Order a nice first aid kit...a good comprehensive one!
Get two bug out bags, one for each of you.
Order some good books on survival, gardening, primitive living.

Everything combined will be under $1,000. if you just buy these basics.
She could also store everything in an space as small as an average closet.

When she starts protesting or questioning your sanity, tell her "I am doing this because I LOVE YOU and I feel it is my duty and my right and my privilege to make sure YOU will be safe during emergencies!: Then send her a nice bouquet of her favorite flowers.

When you get home, have the *big talk* with her.
Oh, and take her to the range when you get home.:D:
 

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Mother of One.
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Well, you apologized to us for being too lengthy, but honestly I don't think that you were lengthy enough with your email to your wife. You spend the first 2/3rds of your email giving facts and figures about some varied and broad topics. Then you finish up with: So, I think we should go camping and shooting and stuff.

She writes back that you don't sound like her husband, but a wacko politician, and she doesn't get the correlation between economic collapse and camping, and she's not sure what to say.

Instead of ponying up and saying well, I'm worried that we might not be able to stay in our home for an extended period of time.. and blah blah blah, you just give up. Blam. She called you a wacko, so NEVERMIND.

She asked you to expound on things. She was open to a conversation. She didn't get what you were trying to say in your first email, and she really thinks you're coming out of left field, but she wants to know what you're thinking... but no, you shut down. THAT'S where you went wrong.
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A lot of what you wrote seems like old hat to people in the forum. But, she probably REALLY doesn't see the correlation between failing economy and camping. And, all you talk about is camping and shooting... basically "guy" things. (Not to say that girls don't camp and shoot. Especially as I am one who does myself.) Maybe you should have been like: "I'm worried about long term power outages, and I was thinking of a way to be prepared for something like that, and I thought maybe we could take some sort of cooking from scratch class. It might also be a way for us to spend more time together. Would you like that?"

What you need to do is put your ideas in the nicest box you can find. Find a framework that works in your situation. Find ways to make prepping also about "relationship building." Yeah, it's ridiculous and corny and I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at the screen. But, most women are ridiculous and corny, and will appreciate the effort. Yeah, I'm sure a cooking class is not your first choice in figuring out ways to prep, but I feel like it "plants a seed" better than some random weird email that kinda freaks your wife out every three months.

I would suggest that you do NOT follow the advice of saying something every once and awhile and then leaving well alone. I know too many chicks that say "Yeah, every once and awhile he goes on this rant about X... but I just tell him he's crazy and he straightens up for awhile." or "Yeah, I don't know why, but every once and awhile he just goes nuts buying ammo, and goes hunting for 3 weekends in a row. I get lonely, but he eventually snaps out of it and everything goes back to normal." These women are categorizing their husbands behavior as wacko and atypical, not as something that they really need to be examining closely or trying to incorporate themselves. As with most things the idea of "Be Consistent" seems like it would work in your favor.
 

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You clearly do not know any thing about selling, particularly to females. I made my last company a half a billion dollars by knowing how. My clients include Quizos and Donald Trump. Facts do not convince women at all. Men yes, women no. Women have to know the personal good that can come from the purchase, the agreement, et cetera. An example:

Let us say we are selling real estate software designed to help you make big bucks. Facts and a demonstration that he can make money usually makes the sale with him. That won't work with her. You have to go one more step with her and show her what she can DO with the money... better home, more reliable vehicle, a better vacation, better college for the kids, more money in retirement ...

You have to show her the advantages of being prepared (if you have kids that would be an excellent avenue.) If not kids, then parents, friends, themselves.... the advantages of doing what you suggest have to be made personal. THAT is how you sell anything to a woman, from financial software to an idea... the personal angle...

I make a very good living knowing how to sell to men and women, and how they are different.
 

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Never compromise.
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I started slow with my wife, and now she's coming around. The biggest thing you have to do is:

1. Explain it to her in depth without getting frustrated and giving up.

2. Back it up with "facts" on the news. I know thats kinda an oxymoron. But if "X" comes on CNN, you say:"Baby, remember what I was talking to you about the other day? Come here and look at *this*." Then you're not just a closet wacko. Its: "Oh damn. He's right!" And it will start sinking in more and more. After awhile she will be the one asking you for more bullets and range time. Hahaha
 

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My wife and I sit down a least 3-4 times a week and review our plans and play " the what if game".
Thinking up situations and if we're ready to handle them.
I do the local shopping and she goes to the box stores in Anchorage.
She'll come home with all sorts of hard to find items, "they finally got 25 lb. bags of great northern beans in , got 3 bags". We're a pretty good team.....Alaskan
 

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I hear the bagpipes
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This is not about whether or not you can convince her to prep. This about the essentials of leadership. People follow effective leadership for the dumbest of causes all the time, so it does not matter that you are right in what you are saying to her. You are asking for someone to make a major shift in their thinking and world view. It means more that you are trustworthy, than it does that your situation report is credible.

I could write a book on this. It would be called "the book of my mistakes"! But I've learned a few things. Here's my wife, ready to teach the Zombies a few things also...

2007-12-27_17-58-26DSC_0065.jpg
 

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I've never really had 'the talk' with my husband. It isn't something that I would couch in external terms like 'the Dow did this' or 'oil's X a barrel', but rather 'I'd really like us to be prepared for an emergency, whether it's a major power outage or economic disaster. If you have any ideas on that like things you think would be useful to have on hand, I'd like your input'. If you couch it in terms of needing permission or tossing a lot of facts and figures at her, that gives her permission to say no, whereas if you couch it in terms of you both being prepared ['us'], if she doesn't buy in, she's not working for the benefit of 'us', and if she does buy in, she is working for the benefit of 'us'.
 

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Show her pictures of the masses outside the stadium in NO after Katrina . That might help .
 

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The end is near.
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Well, from what I got out of that, she didn't equate your desire to prepare for emergencies with what you said. In other words, you *****footed around your message. She does not have a clue as to what you are talking about. She's not anymore closed-minded than she was, she just doesn't understand what you're saying. In her mind, the stock market is tanking so you want to go camping. Camping has nothing to do with the stock market, so she's a little confused, and understandably so. Say that to any of us and we're on board immediately. But say it to someone who is not familiar with survival and you'll get that blank look. Besides, you are talking about things you want to start doing when you get back, not what needs to be done right now, like emergency preps brought into the home for her wellbeing while you are gone.

Like others here have said, newbies need to be eased into emergency preparedness before they can even think about survival. Asking 'what if' questions is a good way to pave the way for the 'Big Talk' about preparedness and survival in the future. For now, though, I'd stick with emergency preparedness. I'd suggest you do as Lamb suggested and let her know you're going to have supplies sent home and you need her to store them. So long as they are emergency preparedness items and not full-tilt survival supplies she will probably not take issue with them---too badly. Just the basics for now.

Once you get home perhaps it will be time to take this to the next level and have that big talk about survival. Hopefully by then you'll have played the 'what if' game and taken her camping and shooting so she's thinking about survival in some way and she will not be as shocked at the 'Big Talk'.

I just don't think you can execute survival plans so far from home when she's not even familiar with survival. Get her prepped first, get home, and then get her on board with survival. That's what I'd do in your boots.

BTW, thank you very much for serving. I and a lot of others appreciate your dedication and efforts over there. Oh, and don't keep that a secret. Tell your buddies as well because we appreciate their dedication and efforts just as much.
 

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Will let you beg for food
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All I say to people I know who are hedging is:

Remember when they were snowed in for a month in Quebec and the snow was so high the army couldn't get to them? Don't bother knocking on my door when you are hungry!

(To Note - anyone who knew I had food I have been talking about how broke I am, missing bills because I have no cash and thankfully I had food but like ohmigod it is all gone. I moved it and now empty shelves sit where the food was :D)
 

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i agree you need to talk preventative

and suggest that inflation which is pretty much guaranteed to go up is a good reason to store goods you will definitely use. save $ in the long run, which will add you your 'wealth' also yes store up what you can little by little on your own. and show her trusted sources that back up the idea of 'plan for the worst, hope for the best' which means no matter what comes along you are prepared. puts you in a wise position for life for yourselves and to help others out as necessary. talk about charity, being in a position to help others in times of need is something that appeals to women especially and is good period. ask her what she would do if there were for some strange reason no way to buy tampons or pads? or something else she really needed? what would she do? that is something i would want to be ready for just because it is gross to be up a creek with that type of situation.

give her some cool survival gadgets she might like for christmas maybe...in addition to what she really wants.

it could happen anywhere. having the attitude that it couldn't happen to us is just plain foolish. but definitly using more subtle tactics will help. and saving money... i want to go solar someday because of money, be self sufficient raise ducks, grow a garden to save money, be healthier, have fun doing it and in the meantime, it would prepare us for most things that come along. my husband is game for all that. but not for the 'eotwawki' idea. which sounds absurd, so most people aren't ready to hear that.
 

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forgot...silverbearcafe.com has a great section on stocking up on storable goods for long term to become wealthy...inflation is guaranteed...the stock market isn't.
 

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don't always have to grind the grains either

Commonguy...you are deployed overseas right now?
If so, instead of throwing your hard earned dollars into the stock market, start ordering prep supplies and have them delivered to your home in the states. Tell your wife to store them in the garage, under the bed, in the spare room, whatever.
Don't go overboard, just go for basics.
You can order wheat, beans and rice from the LDS church website and they do not charge for shipping! Around 40 dollars for a case (Six #10 cans per case)
Two cases each per person would be darn near a (low ration) years supply of food!
Order a grain grinder. (Goodmans.com look under Universal products)
Order a decent water filter/purifier. (Plenty of those online, google it!)
Order a nice first aid kit...a good comprehensive one!
Get two bug out bags, one for each of you.
Order some good books on survival, gardening, primitive living.

Everything combined will be under $1,000. if you just buy these basics.
She could also store everything in an space as small as an average closet.

When she starts protesting or questioning your sanity, tell her "I am doing this because I LOVE YOU and I feel it is my duty and my right and my privilege to make sure YOU will be safe during emergencies!: Then send her a nice bouquet of her favorite flowers.

When you get home, have the *big talk* with her.
Oh, and take her to the range when you get home.:D:
you can sprout most of the grains and lentils mung beans sunflower seeds fenugreek, chia....then dehydrate them if you have a dehydrator to make breads google recipes for those too....sprouted stuff is way healthier, greens you need and can do it easily and cheaply
 

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pff female's!!! dont make a big fuss about it, its the same all around the world... females just get angry sometimes all of a sudden, but that has nothing to do with you... that was just a mean reply and she knows that! she obviously knows that!

in the end, i got my chicy to come with me, just be telling many stories about it, and how i would love to get some day to the woods... now, a few months later she's all like, ooh lets go to the woods, so you can build a house and im gonna take care of your babies... i just romantasized it... she cant help it... she just has to come along! :p
 

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There sure is a lot of good advice among us!! My husband and I laughed because when we had "the talk" we discovered we were each doing something about survival and the other didn't connect the dots. Iow's, we both were prepping but didn't know the other was. My husband was thinking along the lines of guns, ammo and things to invest in. I was thinking investing in us - food, clothing, where would we go. We have a rule in our family that goes - we can spend up to a certain point but if we want to make big purchases, we discuss it. So, one day I went to my husband and said, honey, I need to ask your advice about something that is important to me. And I stated my case for prepping. Honey (also known as Stud Muffin), sat and listened and then started laughing and told me he was trying to work up approaching me with the same idea. We are a little older than you, Cammo but we understand where you are coming from because we are a retired military family. We had many years where my husband had to guide our family from afar due to deployments, schools or him moving ahead of us so I could stay behind with our boys to finish a school year. You don't have to answer this - just note it in your head - Do you have children? If so, I'd approach her from the fact that you want to plan the best possible way for her and the children to prosper if hard times come. If no kids then leave out the baby part. I wouldn't start talking about nuclear war, end times and anything that would scare her. There are floods, lost job, accidents where one of you can't work, maybe elderly parents will need financial help and believe me that will strain your budget - things that happen every day in life. You have got to be careful. Right now she is vulnerable. You are not there. She's trying to hold down the fort best she can and here you are talking about something she's afraid she couldn't handle. I don't know a good wife anywhere who wouldn't melt if you said... darling, I just want to take the best care of you I can. Surely she sees the wisdom in stocking some food for a rainy day. And everyone needs first aid supplies. Do you have parents or siblings you could send "hard" supplies to, to keep for you? Would your wife notice the missing money? I don't mean to encourage you to hide things from her however, I understand you not wanting to come home to get blown away because some thug wants your baloney sandwich. You might have to keep "your" preps to a minimum until you get home. But, I don't know about not doing anything until you get home. She might balk at purchasing 1000 rounds of ammo and an assault rifle but couldn't you suggest that for her safety a good dog (that would be valuable in a survival situation) and a handgun might be prudent while you are away? Good luck to you, my friend. I know it is hard to be away from your loved ones. God bless you and come home safe and sound, please.

Just a little guidance in the wife department..... Stop with the nevermind. It drives us insane. I reckon that would fit for husbands too! If it's important enough for you to bring up then it's not nevermind - it's important and needs to be discussed. If y'all can't come to a comfortable place where you agree then, oh boy, you've got to do what you think is right. You are the head of the house and there can only be one chief. Even if you have to explain a gazillion times why you made the decision you did - do it. This is about loving her and wanting her to survive. Hopefully she will understand. If not, she'll have some extra food and supplies stacked in her closet and she can smile knowing that no matter how far away from her you are, you are still looking out for her safety. Wonder if .... Trust Me.... will work?
 
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