Survivalist Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
The 5 Will Survive
Joined
·
2,919 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is just a short story I did today. It's BASED on some real events that happened this morning. :D:


So There I Was.......
So there I was, standing on the edge of the drainage ditch, emptying a canvas bag of leaves. You see I was just finishing up a hard days work of leaf hogging. I had the bag almost emptied when I heard a gentle snap, almost like someone breaking a pencil yet much softer. I turned my head to try and locate the sound, when..............the plywood I was standing on gave way.

I rode that plywood down the ravine like a child's sled. I was holdin' on for dear life. All the way down I was hitting the leaves I had just emptied, I had leaves in my shoes, I had leaves in my pants, I had leaves in my mouth, and I had leaves in my ears.....,

When I hit that bottom, I landed on what I call a. “Teeter-Totter Rock.” You see when you land on a Teeter-Totter Rock, you normally teeter and then totter, but I had so much energy going that when I hit I teetered, tottered, and then went flying, like I came off a buckin' Bronco. I landed a fur ways on the other side of the canyon. I hit that wall with a might lot of force, enough to stir up some dust. I, gently as I could, mind you, slid down the wall and hit my head on another, “Teeter” rock.

That was the last thing I remembered...........................................until I woke up.

I woke up some time later, I shook the grogginess off, and raised my head. 'Bout that time I heard a wicked evil cackle. I looked up towards the top of the canyon. The sun light made it impossible to make out anything, except the outline of a man.

Storm clouds rolled and billowed overhead. They made there way across the sky almost with intention. They aligned themselves with the sun, allowing me to see the man at the top of the canyon. When my eyes met his I Knew who it was, it was none other than Jimmy Henson and his Blue Bandit Boys.

“Look what we got here, boys,” they all let out demonized cackles, “We got us a piece of...........piece of.....,” Jimmy searched his brain, “ Of trash.” he finished his sentence.

“Let us at him boss.” his boys snarled in unison.

“Nope, were gonna give Mr. Jodier7 some special hospitality.” he said with a heavy spit.



The storm clouds started to erupt in thunder and lighting.........

Jimmy yelled over the noise, “Let the dogs out!” I looked slightly to my left in time to see these two, no it was five big collies with blood matted fur and foaming and snarling teeth. The dogs jumped down that cliff in one giant leap. One of them took the lead, with the rest of them lagging slightly behind. They barked and growled they kept backing me up towards the canyon wall, when I tripped over a exposed root. The leader of the pack was on me, like a mouse on a elephant.

I could see his fangs, I could smell his rancid, maggot infested mouth. I knew it was the end.........WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.......Maggie, my chocolate lab jumped down the canyon. She pounced on the leader, and had him down on the ground. When Maggie was done with him, he looked like a sheep that had just gone through a wool factory. Maggie turned and looked at the rest of the pack. The collies looked at each other, and were gone like a bullet with Maggie hot on their tails.

Old Jimmy was up there a fussin' and a cussin', he turned and looked at his crew and yelled, “Don't just stand there, get him.”

They let down a rope ladder, and came down after me. Well there were three big burly guys, one old drunk lookin' chick, and a fellow with green teeth, I knew I had better think of somethin' quick, so I just leaned out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee. He let out yell that will curl your blood. That was the break I was lookin' for, so I jumped up and stepped on the drunk chick's head. I pushed off and grabbed that old rope ladder. Let me tell you, they were in determined pursuit. I guess my watch snagged on the bottom of the ladder, cause the ladder was climbing right along with me.

When I got to the top of the canyon, Jimmy Henson was nowhere to be seen. I looked back down the drainage ditch, his boys were nowhere in sight.

Oh well maybe I'll get him next time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,189 Posts
one old drunk lookin' chick, and a fellow with green teeth, I knew I had better think of somethin' quick, so I just leaned out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee.
You forgot the brother john birch preamble.

Fun stuff but I hope it all a bad dream.
 

·
The 5 Will Survive
Joined
·
2,919 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I only remember bit and pieces of the song, but I had it stuck in my head while I was typing.

And I really did fall down a 15 foot drainage ditch this morning. You know, leaves don't make areal good hand hold. LOL It took me awhile to get back up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,860 Posts
You forgot the brother john birch preamble.

Fun stuff but I hope it all a bad dream.
"He's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko ****!
I betchya he's even got a commie flag
tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."

In the good old days, I used to look forward to hearing that song (along with Alice's Restaurant and Paradise by the Dashboard Light). But today's stations can play a half hour of hit carp and an equal number of commercials in the time it takes to play this type of song.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top