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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
up until a couple of days ago i have a very vague concept of what a mall ninja was. so i used the search tool and typed in "mall ninja" and read 4 threads with the most views. very funny and i actually learned a lot *what not to do* (no pistol bayonets for me).

but as i was reading I had a realization I've met one, an actual 100% true to form mall ninja. So if you’ve seen one please describe him/her please attach a photograph if you can.
have you seen, met, shared a romantic milk shake with the following.
Grey Man
Mall Ninja
The one uper
Lies about his military record guy
any other odd/disturbing characters
i work as a manager of a security company. i had a bad feeling when i called him back to send him for a drug test. but i chalked that up to him being excited to work, i’ve made some hiring mistakes before but this one was a constant reminder of my failure as a manger to spot someone who was ineffective and a danger to himself and others.

Mall Ninja
5 foot 7 inches tall
220 pounds
blonde hair
he wore a sam brown *told him we were 100% unarmed and any weapons on site he would be fired*
tactical black boots *unable to remember the brand*
he’s often regail me of his previous job where he would tackle vagrants and make an arrest near every night.
He had SEVERAL friends on the force that would bring a tactical responce at a moments notice for him. i often went out of my way on my patrols of our sites to sit and spend time with his delusions.
he always carried a trucks tire checker *looks a lot like a baton*
drinks one 2 liter of soda a shift
had a small arsenal of guns- he showed me an old school Polaroid i remember one out of the crowd. i’m not a gun guy but it looked like an ar15 with a fore-grip a big scope and a laser to the right and a light at the bottom.
he drove a small army of different bucket cars they were always “just out of the shop and will last forever

The one upper
I worked as a guard for a distribution company we had two separate posts and i would always hate working on a Monday and Wednesday with *name changed to protect his identity* Matt. now before i tell my story i will remind you that at the time we were unarmed security making around 10 dollars and hour we had no benefits and little room to advance.
Matt would often call me for a small matter than go into “this is how awesome i am” mode
i will do my best to categorize his many many accomplishments
One masters degree in accounting
One associates degree in history
Was an employee with the department Of transportation
Owned three small business, computer repair, bakery, automobile repair shop
Knows the owner of the Security company personally along with the vice president he often had lunch and breakfast with them.
Was making 18 dollars at the other Security branch
Was just a week away from being promoted
Greatest ladies man that ever lived
etc.

I finally got tired of this and asked my boss one day “how come Matt is so juiced?” my boss responded with the following facts.
Matt did not report that he work for DOT but that his father apparently did * my boss investigated it*
Matt could not produced his two degrees when my boss asked him too.
He was never going to be promoted
He made 10.50 at the other branch and transferred to our branch was hired on accident at our branch *other branch said “DON’T hire him!!”
the owner and vice president did not know him, they threw a small breakfast for the guards at a new account where he did attend and it was only once.
all in all every other guard including every other employee at the company knew Matt and knew of his many feats of amazingness.

please do share your own encounters.
have you seen one in the wild?
 

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I work with one on sundays. Tucks his blue striped slacks into SWAT brand tactical boots(trips over the laces as well). Apparently to be more high speed low drag. Keeps talking about the 'customized' S&W Sigma he has ready to go for when he finally gets his commission card in. Laughs at me for not wearing my vest (or sam browne) every shift. Wants to take a taser class despite the fact our boss says he's never even heard of an account that asked about taser equipped secs. Keeps telling me how he shoots his Sigma in the garage- when I asked if he lived in the country, he said "no man, 5th ward" (ghetto ville)
 
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I'm friends with one

He joined the army briefly until he was sent back home with a "medical" discharge. He still loves to tell every women he meets about how he jumped out of airplanes and crawled around with a knife in his teeth. I think he was in the Army for roughly five months and trained to work maintenance when he found he wasn't smart enough to be an MP. His brother once told me how he would call almost every day crying because he wanted to come home and how mean everyone was to him.

He always wanted to be a cop but couldn't pass the psych eval. He went on to work in adult corrections for three months until he was walked out for violating policy.

He's worked several security jobs - all unarmed. In almost every case he was fired from each position. His last security job (I remember it well cause I was dumb enough to put in a word for him to get hired sadly) he would pull over people on a county road for driving five miles over the speed limit, demand to see ID, and in one case shouted in the drivers face "you better not be talking back to me old man!".

The old man it turned out was a county commissioner. He called the Sheriff. The Sheriff called my boss, and you can guess how that convo went.

Every handgun he has ever owned has been either a 45 or 44. He loves his 1911's, Desert Eagles, etc but strangely he can't hit the broadside of a barn with them. When he gets low on cash his $700 toy usually ends up sold for less than $200 (sadly I'm never around for that deal).

He had a nice array of hunting rifles also. Most were acquired during his one good job he ever had (his dad got him hired on at the mill, where he pressed three buttons - start -slow - stop all night for $25 an hour). He still couldn't hit the broadside of the barn, even though he was sniper trained in the Army. One year he actually hit a deer with his Geo Metro while hunting. Yes he tagged it, and yes he told everyone that would listen that he scored a head shot. He also managed to shoot a hole in his brothers Bronco when his rifled "misfired"

This month he decided to start owning firearms again. Another person who is just slightly dumber than he is told him to buy a Hi Point 45 because "its accurate as hell, never jams and for $180 is the best deal around". I told him he could buy a Mosin and a lot of ammo for the same price, but he needed something he could carry concealed - just in case.

Did I mentioned he also has his concealed carry permit?

He also has his concealed carry license. I have no clue how he managed to get it being his "medical" discharge from the Army is public, just like failing the psych eval for the LE job must be on record somewhere. Still he manages to pass every background check there is, which leaves me with no faith whatsoever in background checks or the ATF.

His latest brainstorm since he can't get hired anywhere is to work as a private investigator after he found a mail order course in one of those cheesy detective magazines.
 

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he needs some sense ground into him
 

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Used to have one on my survey crew. Mouth never stoped. No mater what you had, he had one better or more expensive. He and daddy-in-law were going to start raising purebred pigs. Get their investment back the first litter. I've raised pigs for years. I told him to get some grade sows, try it and then go purebred after he got some experience and finished his buildings and fencing, etc. Nope-bought 6 guilts and a boar. The boar was out of the same litter as the guilts. Never did find out how it turned out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
saw one in the news... don't want to break any rules so here is just a snippet of what the story is about

Sheriff's deputies later descended on the family's Cherry Valley home, where Bruce Borynack said he was pushed down when he demanded a search warrant.

Cal Fire investigators and sheriff's deputies seized about two pounds of tree stump remover and throwing stars that Zach Borynack used in martial arts classes, his father said.

link here

Press enterprise are kinda ****s when it comes to there stories so if it doesn't work don't blame me

http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_D_eexplosives09.a6b4fa75.html

Police: Man found with explosives arrested

video link
www.pe.com/video/index.html?bcid=1099755575001
 
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