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This assumes a real threat of virus spread and exposure on a epidemic scale:

Well, if you've tried reasoning with her and it's failed, I have few suggestions.

Maybe convince her to just let you keep the kids, for their safety, for the next month? She's going to be exposed to the public in her job, and might inadvertently put the kids at risk.

Unless you can reconcile with her and she breaks off her romance with Mr. Otherguy, as for the 4 of you moving into (or rather, you moving back into) the house - that's totally unrealistic and simply puts you at risk for infection given her job with the public. And Mr. Otherguy is also exposing your kids if he's around them or their home. Also, the bigger problem, is that since she's in a relationship the risk of some violent altercation between the adults is going to skyrocket. How are you going to respond when Mr. Otherguy and she are playing doctor in the next room while you're on the couch? Be honest with yourself.

There's two or three very compelling reasons your moving back in is a very bad plan, unless you reconcile. She's going to be exposed and bring it home. Mr. Otherguy will be coming over with his own possible virus, and the real threat of some domestic violence altercation...

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Kinda feel like you made your bed with a bad pick for a mate. You don't seem to have the same world view, and you're separated for unclear reasons. Not trying to be mean, but maybe for younger folks who might make the same decisions.

1. Pick your mates more carefully with more thought toward the future. Don't have kids with someone you fundamentally disagree with.
2. Pick the state you live in more carefully. I would not want to live in most of New England, which is heavily populated and generally anti-freedom and anti-gun.
 

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You may need to wait until things get worse. And if they do, suggest to her that you swap houses. If she insists on keeping up with the work, etc. and things are truly bad, maybe she'll at least think of the kids. And you got bug in at the house with kids and she and new guy can hang in your apartment. Maybe sounds crazy and would be a no go, but if she'll put kids first when it comes down to it, maybe that would work. Unless it turns out that this thing does burn itself out with proper isolation.
 

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She is seeing a new dude and I’m cool with that. We are still legally married.
Nothing about this is okay.

Sorry.

But you can't protect two friends and deadly enemy at the same time. If you can't separate the enemy from the allies, you have to abandon all three.
 

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You may need to wait until things get worse. And if they do, suggest to her that you swap houses. If she insists on keeping up with the work, etc. and things are truly bad, maybe she'll at least think of the kids. And you got bug in at the house with kids and she and new guy can hang in your apartment. Maybe sounds crazy and would be a no go, but if she'll put kids first when it comes down to it, maybe that would work. Unless it turns out that this thing does burn itself out with proper isolation.
This was going to be my suggestion. Swap houses on a temporary basis, making sure you are doing it for the kids.
 

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American fearmaker
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If she is a full time cop, she has access to more information than you do about possible infection rates in her work area because of the local health department and officers on the force who are trained as medical personnel too. Many departments have officers trained as First Responder Medical Instructors or even as paramedics who also get very frequent briefings from the local health department and local doctors about infection rates and/or potential pandemic events.

If she is working for a department larger than say a dozen officers, at least one of the officers will be assigned to watch for and study potential coronavirus infection as it effects the local area. If things start to even remotely go south, out will come the masks and, if necessary the biological contamination suits that most police agencies keep quietly tucked away in storage. When things get real bad, you will see the local police department shift into new response protocols that you would normally see in situations like in a biological warfare situation or a contamination event of some kind like a mini-Chernobyl of some kind.

I would expect as soon as that alert happens at the police department, she will be calling you and dropping the kids off with you. She will expect you to keep them at home and safe from contact with the public in general until the crisis passes.

The best thing for you to do right now is work with her and pay attention to what she tells you because she'll have a better information system that you don't have immediate access to use. Her information system will include city, county and state health agencies that pop into play when something surfaces. Information will come over the police computer network from more sources than you can imagine, maybe even some national sources if things get really bad - like CDC out of Georgia.
 

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Start sending her the "official statements" like what the SEC said about shutting down businesses and schools.

Make it VERY about the kids (as suggested.... You move into the house and they have a love nest apartment... Or whatever she wants.)

You can best judge if "leverage" (her leagally cheating on you) and bringing it up either as "hey, I'm going along" or a non-threat is a good idea.

HEll, outright bribe her if you think it's worth it.
(If you go along with XYZ, I'LL 1,2,3.)
 

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Officer Friendly
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Discussion Starter #8
Just to clear up a couple points.

1. I wasn’t a prepper when we married. It’s something I picked up after our first son was born

2. The marriage is over. If not for the kids, I would not be communicating with her at all. Because of the kids, I have to deal with her.

3. I have no desire to have her back in my life to any degree. We are not going to reconcile. I’m cool with the new guy because I care as much as I care about who the girl at Dunkin’ Donuts is sleeping with. As in I just don’t care.

4. He does not live there and won’t be around eating my preps if I am there. He is not part of the plan.

Thanks all for the input!
 

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Officer Friendly
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Discussion Starter #14
I’m cool with that. I gave her a house I own half of. Why? Because I want my boys to have a home. I seriously don’t care about money or assets. I care about my sons and what is best for them. Having a mother is (unfortunately) part of that.

I guess I’m trying to save her from herself for their benefit .
 

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Any suggestions on how to proceed would be most welcome. Thanks for reading.
The four of you or the 5 of you.

None the less, kids are less likely to die from the virus. Be a good dad and insure that the kids are kept healthy and their chance of dying from it is dramatically reduced.

Problem solved.

You will probably need a new woman to bring the number back up to four though.

None the less if anything is true don't try to convince a woman to do something she doesn't think is right without alchohol.

You need to agree with her and you need to provide an alternate reason for things so she doesn't know why you are doing something but it is structured in a way that she likes the result because it creates the concept that she is valued and special and that you are doing it for her and it is so hard on you to do it.


First off you need to create reasons for you to be there.. like some sort of issue, etc.. and demonstrate how you are such a good person etc... etc.. and that you are there to help her.

Remember it is just a creation of face so that you are seen as "a good person to be around, who is liked, and valued and is helpful"

You only need to "pretend and act" like those things are there if you naturally are not.

Smiling, helping make things easier and even if welcome the occassional foot massage done the right way can help too.

My other suggestions are not legal, and would not be very nice so I will withhold those. (and no they don't involve poisoning her or cutting her break lines that would be extreme evil and very very wrong nor does it involve Kato a planted knife with break oil on it and an empty bottle in the sock drawer of the lover)


Altohugh Goebbles would probably use "subconcious propaganda" just because your information hasn't scared her into compliance yet doesn't mean propaganda cant be used to brainwash someone into obediantly serving your desires. It just takes time and skill.

In all honestly keeping her informed with major new milestones may help. But the best option is to do these things "casually" and to steer clear of any "danger buttons"


However just being honest and saying your are justifiably paranoid and need to stay at the house until the virus is beaten may bring that hot button issue to a point of climax very quickly and provide the groundwork for the denoument and viable alternate plans like makign new babies in a worse case scenario.

None of this is actually suggested just provided as advice if you havn't thought sanely about how people in the real world solve these sorts of marriage problems.

Due to keeping this post safe for work I can't go in depth on an answer on this as much as I would have in a free society.
 

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Some people dont think it can happen to them until slapped hard in the face. Sometimes twice. Be ready to step up if things actually get bad enough to take necessary precautions. If a quarantine becomes mandatory, you can leverage that to your advantage.

Dont shove it down her throat tho. If you keep sending world events to her will just make things worse. You have made her aware, now all you can do is be ready in case things actually go bad.
 

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SBs Resident Non Prepper
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Last year I separated from my wife. I moved into an apartment and let her keep the house for the time being. We also have 2 small boys which we share custody of. For the most part we get along ok. She is seeing a new dude and I’m cool with that. We are still legally married.

Here is the problem. She was never really on board with prepping and such. She has a horrible case of normalcy bias even though I’ve been sending her articles about the virus and just how bad it is.

She is going to keep on working until she gets sick and by that point the boys are gonna be sick and I’ll probably have it also. She is a cop and will be expected to go to work no matter what. I’m on the cusp of retirement so it not a big deal for me to take a couple months off to bug in with the kids.

I’ve tried talking to her about it, but I don’t think she understands that by the time it’s obviously overwhelming our area, it’s too late.

Ideally I’d like the 4 of us to stay at the house and bug in there. I’m in a smallish apartment so all my preps and my gun safe is still there. Any suggestions on how to proceed would be most welcome. Thanks for reading.
Looks like you are all gonna die then....and the boyfriend will be eating all your preps
 

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Looks like you are all gonna die then....and the boyfriend will be eating all your preps
Well, now that you said it.

Yeah....that was my reaction as well. I just didn't want to be that harsh to the poor guy....buy since you went there first....

Yep. Pretty much. An enemy or TWO inside your camp that you can't get rid of is a no win scenario. If it was a real SHTF and not just Corona where you have a 98% chance of surviving if you do nothing....well, you probably know what you would have to do for the sake of your kids.
 

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SBs Resident Non Prepper
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Well, now that you said it.

Yeah....that was my reaction as well. I just didn't want to be that harsh to the poor guy....buy since you went there first....

Yep. Pretty much. An enemy or TWO inside your camp that you can't get rid of is a no win scenario. If it was a real SHTF and not just Corona where you have a 98% chance of surviving if you do nothing....well, you probably know what you would have to do for the sake of your kids.
Well you know me....lol. I don’t sugarcoat anything. Lol
 
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