Ready for the big "push"
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have you attention please. This is your Captain, Barack Obama. There is nothing to see here, please move along. We have only had a small water pipe break, but rest assured that my crack team of maintenance workers are on the case, lead by Tim Geithner and Ben Bernanke. And if your cabin does have some water in it, feel free to go to the Nero Room in Club Rome. Let the bar tender John Boehner know your room has flooded and your first two drinks are free! Relax to the soothing sounds of the Harry Reid Band accompanied by the lovely singer Nancy Pelosi. One other thing, when your on the deck, please refrain from interacting or engaging the deck boy Joe Biden. He is busy rearranging the deck chairs and really isn't that sociable in the first place. Once again, don't worry and enjoy your cruise on the U.S. Titanic.