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Discussion Starter #1
This is a rant and if it needs to get deleted or moved I understand.

Coming from a small town I tend to know everyone one way or another. I know a ex-wife ex-husband and their two kids. The ex husband I'll call H the ex wife J. I work with J and while I'm pleasant with her I have never really liked her. She is one of those people who is nice to your face but don't tell her too much because she'll be gossiping and making crap up about you behind your back. She's always been a party girl. While H is a more stay at home guy, rather be with his kids, goes out a couple times a year. When they got a divorce it was because she had been sleeping around. In fact she just left H and the kids for almost 2 months and had nothing to do with them. They now have joint custody because the mother can be an ax murderer and the courts are still going to give her custody of some sort. I don't have much to do with this because face it, they're not related and I didn't marry the b***h. I know the children through my son. One boy in a couple years old that Hawk and one in a year younger.

So much for the background. Today and tomorrow are warm days so I decided to take some of the town kids for a sleigh ride. My son called up his friends and they called theirs and like I said it's a small town so word got around. This morning I got a call from J asking if her boys could go on a sleigh ride. I said yes. The she asked me if I could call H and tell him it was a church function. I said no because it wasn't a church function. We don't even go to the same church. She said it was okay that the church would pay me and then it would a church function. I said no, if her kids wanted to go on a sleigh ride fine but I wasn't going to lie about it to her ex.

So then about a half hour later her pastor calls me up and ask if I wouldn't mind saying that my sleigh rides were a church function and the church would pay me for doing it. I was getting a bit miffed now as this was going to be a fun day for some kids and these two were trying to turn it into something else. I said no, I had no problem taking any of the kids from their church on a ride with their parent's permission but it was just for fun, not a church function.

So then the pastor, a woman mind you, says to me, "Oh but it wouldn't hurt to call it a church function, would it? See, J wants her kids to know that her church is better than H's church so they'd rather go to church with her instead of her ex."

So the pastor wanted me to lie. What kind of crazy religion is this? I'm not Methodist (what this church is) but from my reading of the Bible lying is kind of frowned on.

I said no and that I was not going to get in the middle of trying to hurt a good man. If the pastor thinks that lying for her flock is a good thing, then fine but I am going to honor my soul just a tiny bit more than that.

The pastor got angry, which made two of us, and told me that I don't know how hard it isfor J's kids. I answered it must be hard if their mother lies to them all the time. I asked her if she had happened to read her Bible before she chose her job. We were both hot and she ended up calling me "Not nice." To which I replied, "Lady, if you think this isn't nice you should see me when I get really ticked off." Which I was but I wanted to sound like a bad a$$.

I called a friend. I was so angry and,of course, dumped on her. She told me that this was not the first story like this she had heard about that pastor. She said that J is one of a group of women who go with the pastor partying in the big city once a month and that these women are not of good morals, if you understand what I am saying. She says that the pastor is not above manipulating the children in her divorced friends and that she actually encourages women to get divorced if they want to goout partying and their husbands want to stay home.

Now, I will claim ignorance when it comes to religion. I have mine and it is a very important part of my life. Still I always figured that most religions were basically good. I don't know if what my friend was saying is true but I know what I went through today so I can see it as being true. So am I just blissfully ignorant when it comes to religion. Are their religions out there where pastors can party and lie and still stay pastors? What does a person do if they are confronted this way? I have always tried to offer respect to leaders of all religions even those I am not a part of. Now I am going to look at religious leaders in a new light. I also am going over to H's house and offer to give his kids a sleigh ride when they are not with their mother. I want them to know that they have a good dad.

Rant over. I have to go calm down. This is just really bugging me. Thanks for letting me rant and feel free to get rid of this if it is not appropriate.

blt
 

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J sounds like my ex best friend and husband stealer 'K'

Methodists are good people (I've known a bunch) and if this is all easily proved information you could possibly contact the Methodist HQ (or whatever...) about the behavior of its pastor.

A quick call to J's ex hubs mught be in order too.

You are well within your rights to be mad.
 

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Knocked Down But Up Again
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I was a Methodist Church secretary/business administrator for years, and this is NOT acceptable or condoned behavior under any circumstances. I am shocked and appalled that such things could be said of a clergyperson of any denomination. If it's at all helpful, please use the link below to get some kind of action on your problem:

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Methodists-957/METHODIST-ETHICS-COMMITTEE.htm

If this situation is as bad as you say, then you need to get an emergency meeting of that particular church's staff-parrish committee and have this "lady" out on her backside. PRONTO.

It's crap like this that keeps me from joining a church. I am a firm believer in being spiritual and honoring God, but organized religion is for the birds.
 

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You stick with your beliefs. Don't make conssessions for anothers beliefs if they contradict yours.

Don't become involved in the problems between this h and w. That is none of your business and let her know that!

If she persists in involving you in her problems, let her know that you no longer want contact with her or her children.

Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thanks to everyone for their replies. I probably shouldn't have come here and ranted like that but at the time I was a wee bit upset.:eek:: I've calmed down now and for the marriage I am staying out of that. It's none of my business unless I hear of abuse to the kids, which I haven't.

I'm friends with a retired Methodist pastor and I think tomorrow when I am totally calmed down I'll give him a call and just mention this.

Again, thanks for listening and for the good advice. I guess it just caught me off guard being asked to lie by a pastor. With your replies I'll know better how to handle myself if this ever happens again (which I hope never will).:)

blt
 

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your standards and morals are obviously much higher than this church leader.
I grew up respecting the clergy.. (they are dedicated to the Lord.) Hogwash! Not all of them are dedicated. Some are glorified politicians, some are power loving lunatics, some advertise 1-900 numbers for prayers.. many are truly beautiful people. All religions have bad apples. People are people. But, I think you have a great idea.. letting the kids get together on the father's time.

Hmm.. you got elected to coordinate a church function and your not even a member? You just gotta laugh at that one!! :) smile.
 

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Good for you for standing up and sticking with the truth. Those kids are going through enough already, and don't deserve the manipulations.

As for the pastor and her church, every church/organization/business/country/family has good people and bad people in it. Remember, Churches are made up of people, not Saints. We all hope that the people in charge are going to be the best of us, but sometimes they are not. Hopefully, this Pastor will 'see the light' or be kicked out of the pulpit.

I hope that someone is keeping the children's father informed of what is going on. He might be able to use bits of information here and there to get full custody. Or at least he will understand more about what his kids are going through.
 

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Funny I have an ex like this I shall call L...i bust him every time he lies and post it on my blog....which all his family are linked to lol
 

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AAAH GET TO ZE CHOPPA!
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Wow... reminds me of stories from my parents about the political haggling that went into me and my sister being baptized in the Catholic church.

Kind of turns you off to the whole religion thing.
 

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You run into jerks in any denomination. A Methodist pastor chewed my mother and stepfather out because they wanted to be married in the church but they were both divorced. They never set foot in a church, Methodist or otherwise, until recently when my mother [SF passed away] started attending church again. That's 35+ years of no church because they felt so hurt by this person's viciousness.
 

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brinasmom hit it right on the head with her statement about churchs and people in them.. i belive in the god and i belive in the here after...
i do not attanded any typle of church now...i try and tell the girls that if they want to attanded church they can..
 

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this woman sounds like my husband`s exwife. She goes to church makes herself seem like this good little follower of god but she is bad mouthing my husband not only to his children but to the court so he has to pay out all this money and doesnt get to see his children. I myself do not like people like this cause it gives the good people bad names where people dont want to get involved again cause they are scared they will get hurt or worse have their promotion or rank for their job removed from them cause of the lies.

This pastor does not seem like a God fearing person to me and as my grandmother always say" God will punish them in the end." I do truely believe this. I believe in the end people like this will get theirs I dont know how or when but they always get it in the end.
 
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