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Bless your heart. I know just how you feel though. If I had a nickel for every time some doctor told me "that's impossible" or "it's all in your head" or " well it must not be that bad -- it hasn't killed you yet" I'd rival Jeff Bezos fortune.

And I am right back where I was, too. Doc took me off methotrexate because my liver enzymes were thru the roof and lowering my dosage did not help. I think he's mad at me because I wanted to wait 90 days before trying anything else. Oh well ... It's my body.

And it ****ing hurts all over right now. I spent most of the weekend in bed until yesterday afternoon. Have another appointment with the neurologist today. He's a pretty food fella, though, so I am sure it will be fine.

Right now I am not eating meat of any kind, or oil. All the sugar I get is from fruit (or the maple syrup on my oatmeal. I haven't seen a reduction in the swelling or pain, but I haven't been at it long so I'll ride this horse a little longer and see what happens.
Look at reducing gluten intake (or ditching it all together). There are direct ties between inflammation levels and gluten based in numerous peer reviewed studies. If you haven't read it before, check out the book Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis. It was one of the first things my CNP recommended to me and the reason I am SUPPOSED to be GF lol.

She swapped my pain med too. Took me off Indomethacin and put me on Celebrex. It is one of those that builds up in the system so at 2-3 weeks I'm not quite there but it does seem to be doing something for the pain. Just not enough w/out the Prednisone.

As for doctors, yeah. I have zero faith. Like I said, I fought over a decade to get one of them to listen to me. It took a nurse practitioner to do it. I originally thought it was possibly SLE as that is what my Mom had. So when I went in to ask for my ANA and Rheumatoid factor to be run, she decided just to run the entire panel. Rheumatoid factor is negative but I came back ANA positive on one test and ANA negative on another so they sent me to the rheumy who ran 10 tubes of blood and every test under the sun (except Cortisol lol).
 

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We had perfect weather for Easter Sunday, up to the 70's. I attended church on Zoom and went out for a long walk. It was hot today -- would you believe it got up to 83? In MN, in April. It is supposed to rain tonight and the next couple of days, so I'm glad that I got some outdoor walking in this weekend. Work is work. My coworker has Covid, the one who is at high risk. They are finally training someone in on her job duties since she has to be out now. So at least, I'm not doing everything like I normally would have to. But it's still pretty busy this week.
 

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We have getting things done outside while the weather has been nice. We've got all of the wood cut up and split from the first two trees we cut down a few weeks ago and hope to get the other two tops out and cut up today.

Our pastor and friend is cutting three big trees at his house and said we can have all the wood so we are trying to get what we have cut bucked up and out of the way ASAP. He brought us one load yesterday morning and we got it split so we're ready for more where ever it may come from. We are hoping to have all of the wood we are planning to get up in the yard and split by the end of April.

Last winter was such an odd one that we ended up having to buy over $400 worth. We do not want to do that again!
 

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Republic of Texas
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One Frugal Prepper, my heart goes out to you. My child has AS. It's a hard row to hoe for sure. God bless.
Looking back, my Mom was dx'ed with Scoliosis but the more I learn about AS, they more I think that's what she had. It would make sense since AS is genetic. I refuse to end up like her. I have vivid memories of being little and in my innocence rubbing her legs and back thinking it would help b/c she was laying in bed just sobbing. She was in a wheelchair by the time I turned 14 and permanently bedridden before I turned 18. I have at least made it longer than that for my own kids and I'm pretty sure I'll go into a casket before I willingly give up and go into a chair. I'm waiting on my Humira delivery to get here. This will be my 2nd dose. I'm really praying that it does SOMETHING good.

Speaking of my kids, I have never wanted to go full scorched earth on someone the way I did last night. For those that don't know, Iyaayas has custody of his daughter b/c of a situation where her egg donor's boyfriend was acting inappropriately (truly, not "woke inappropriate") when she was 11. The "woman" (she's a poor excuse for woman or mother), basically abandoned the girl child and chose the Chester over the girl.

Until I came into the picture and then she decided to play Mommy for a bit.

Last year I went against my better judgement and helped the two mend their ways. I don't view the girl child as a step child. She is as much my daughter as the one I gave birth to and she was deeply hurting. I am Mom but I will never be the one who gave her life and we all know that there is a difference. She needed to heal and she needed her Mother and that was my motivation. Like I said, it was against my better judgement and I remember calling Iyaayas and telling him that I really hoped I was not making a mistake.

Said "mother" supposedly broke up with the Chester she's been waiting over 6 years to marry her and moved out. Girl Child went to visit last summer for a few weeks. Things seemed to be working and I was JUST starting to relax that I hadn't made a huge parenting mistake.

It worked for a bit until I caught **** poor excuse for a Mother committing tax fraud 2 weeks ago. I am late filing our 2018 and 2019 taxes b/c of well; life so I didn't realize she had been claiming the girl child this entire time meaning she was not only receiving EIC for a child who didn't live with her but also received the 2020 and 2021 stimulus checks for her.

I gave her time to amend the returns before I filed ours for those years. I did so because I have no desire to get dragged into an audit over having to prove rightful claim to a dependent. I also was TRYING to minimize the damage to my daughter. Egg donor did amend her 2020 taxes once I file claiming the girl and show proof she has been here daily for 5 years, she's SOL anyhow on that since she took the money for a dependent she could not legally claim.

Girl child was upset about it all and having a moment but she would have gotten over it and life would have gone on. The relationship was not beyond repair at that point.

Until last night. She's standing in the kitchen at the fridge and I hear her gasp. I called out to ask if she was okay and she walks to me and shows me the egg donor's latest FB update.

"Egg donor is in a relationship with Chester."

She didn't say a word. Just went back to the kitchen. She made it as far as the leaning against the fridge before she broke. So, I stood in the kitchen holding a sobbing teenage girl who had now been abandoned by the woman who birthed her twice, trying to convey that she is loved and that I am not going anywhere knowing damn well that nothing I said was going to help at all. I held her until she pulled away from me.

I eventually told her the truth; that I wish to God I could tell her that someday it wouldn't hurt, but that unfortunately this is the kind of hurt that never goes away. But that with time it will numb and it won't always be so sharp. She then told me that it hurts but to her, I am Mom and asked me to adopt her.

I am making her calm down and think rationally before we have that conversation (but yes did make it clear that I would love to. I just don't want that to be a decision borne out of pain and strong emotion.)

I let her stay home from school today. She is an honor's student with very very few days missed. She is not a clingy child but she did not leave my side the entire time I was awake today. Normally I have to pull teeth to get her out of her room (in fairness, BOTH of my girls are like that - teens lol). Today for once, she was happy to be with me.

So I'll take that little bit of good in the situation and hold onto it. Because otherwise I may drive myself insane trying to figure out WTF that woman is thinking choosing a man, especially one who has a past like his, over a kid that honestly is one of the best kids I know.
 

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OFP, you are trying to analyze something that won't have it. The woman is sick and selfish. No desire to change. I too suffer the trying to figure out what sometimes is best to leave as is. Sadly there is less societal pressure to act responsibly. I think you have done the best analyzing possible b personally rejecting the nasty life style and living a good example.
 

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Republic of Texas
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OFP, you are trying to analyze something that won't have it. The woman is sick and selfish. No desire to change. I too suffer the trying to figure out what sometimes is best to leave as is. Sadly there is less societal pressure to act responsibly. I think you have done the best analyzing possible b personally rejecting the nasty life style and living a good example.
I think this is harder for me for two reasons; one I do view her as my own child and she's been seriously hurt. That alone makes me want to go claws out. The other is that while I am not the world's greatest mother at times and I have made serious mistakes with my bio during her childhood (I was a raging drunk 3 of the first 5 years of her life and I am not a nice drunk. Then we were homeless, yada yada yada), I could never - even at my worst - have imagined doing that.

But I also know that I will never figure it out simply because it is something I could never imagine doing.

She went to school today but sent me a message earlier saying she was planning on messaging egg donor later this evening after color guard practice. Normally I would remind her to be respectful since it is an adult and she isn't but this time I don't necessarily care much what she says. The kid deserves to say what she has to say at this point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #269 ·
I'm totally freaked out today because we're making major life-changing decisions and selling the house in which I have lived for nearly 20 years.

It's not that I'm so attached to the house -- I'm excited that we'll be able to look for land to build our dream home -- but I'm completely overwhelmed by the realization that we (meaning mostly me, because he's working ten hour days) have to pack or toss everything in the house and on the property by May 1st.

May 1st, because the property will likely sell to a developer within the first week, and they will want us out ASAP because it's construction season, and they'll need to start right away to get the major work done before Fall.

I have no doubt we'll get offers in the first 24 hours, because the selling price suggested by our broker is in my opinion grossly under market value. I know it, because the comps we discussed aren't at all comparable -- they're smaller and/or lower density properties. She likely knows it too, but she wants that fast, easy commission.

I have news for her -- she'll have to work for this one. We'll list it for the price she suggests, but we aren't accepting the first offer we get unless it's significantly over the asking price.

There are NO other properties like this one in the county. And this property is ideal for low-income disabled, people whose rent is being paid by gubmit agencies. In other words, the developer of this property is guaranteed to be paid rent for every unit, on time, every month, even during the pandemic.

They can build 14 (!!!!) low-income units on this property.

So yes, it will sell... probably after a bidding war. And then they'll want to close the sale ASAP, and we'll need to move out before closing because with the eviction moratorium in place, nobody is going to pay money for a property that still has "tenants".

Which means that instead of posting here, I should be hauling ass to get the house emptied out, tossing or packing everything we've accumulated over the last 20 years...

Yeah, totally overwhelmed.
 

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I'm totally freaked out today because we're making major life-changing decisions and selling the house in which I have lived for nearly 20 years.

It's not that I'm so attached to the house -- I'm excited that we'll be able to look for land to build our dream home -- but I'm completely overwhelmed by the realization that we (meaning mostly me, because he's working ten hour days) have to pack or toss everything in the house and on the property by May 1st.

May 1st, because the property will likely sell to a developer within the first week, and they will want us out ASAP because it's construction season, and they'll need to start right away to get the major work done before Fall.

I have no doubt we'll get offers in the first 24 hours, because the selling price suggested by our broker is in my opinion grossly under market value. I know it, because the comps we discussed aren't at all comparable -- they're smaller and/or lower density properties. She likely knows it too, but she wants that fast, easy commission.

I have news for her -- she'll have to work for this one. We'll list it for the price she suggests, but we aren't accepting the first offer we get unless it's significantly over the asking price.

There are NO other properties like this one in the county. And this property is ideal for low-income disabled, people whose rent is being paid by gubmit agencies. In other words, the developer of this property is guaranteed to be paid rent for every unit, on time, every month, even during the pandemic.

They can build 14 (!!!!) low-income units on this property.

So yes, it will sell... probably after a bidding war. And then they'll want to close the sale ASAP, and we'll need to move out before closing because with the eviction moratorium in place, nobody is going to pay money for a property that still has "tenants".

Which means that instead of posting here, I should be hauling ass to get the house emptied out, tossing or packing everything we've accumulated over the last 20 years...

Yeah, totally overwhelmed.
My sister just put her house on the market on Thursday last week. When I saw she was putting it on the market for what she hoped to get for it, I was a bit disheartened. The real estate market in Toronto is crazy right now but you see most sellers put their house on the market well below what they expect to get. Her friend listed nearby under market value and sold in a couple of days for $100k over asking price. My sister's is still on the market. Before she put it on the market, I did mention the need to put it under expectations to get attention. Her friend's house had 30 people through it in just a couple of days. My sister has only had a couple of people in. I know it will sell, but with houses selling in under a week in her neighbourhood, I feel bad for her. Her and her husband are loathe to haggle and hoped to bypass games. Not an option in this market.

I really hope this turns out well for her. For her but also the rest of us. My sister's family, my family and my parents are looking to buy a plot of land up north and building three houses on it. We're building her house first, so the more smoothly this goes for her, the better start we all have. I've spent the last couple of weeks helping her get the house ready to go on the market.
 

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Discussion Starter · #271 ·
Tell your sister that buyers now use software, not agents, to search for houses. They can put their budget "ceiling" into the search, and then all homes above that are filtered out. Or they search from lowest to highest value, and never even see homes priced higher than their reading-fatigue range.

In other words, people might be willing to pay more for your sister's house if they looked at it -- but because she set the value so high, most buyers don't even know it exists.
 

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Thank God it's Friday. It's been a busy and stressful work week, due to a team member being out with Covid and us all being busy and new people learning the sick team member's job also. I get my second vaccine shot tomorrow. There's a reason I scheduled it over the weekend. If I get bad side effects, at least I can rest up and eat soup for a day. It was rainy all week here with very little breaks. Hopefully the weekend will be dry so I can walk somewhere other than up and down the apt. building stairs.
 

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We're getting our house ready for market on May 1 too. Prices here are stupid high right now and I don't expect it to last, so we want to get as much as possible even if we have to rent and stay in PA a year or two till DH can retire.

I'm still working full-time but my entire department of 80 was told last month our jobs are going to India and we'll be laid off in July. I've been working from home since March of '20 and was hoping to stay with this company and keep working strictly online for a few more years and build our nest egg up even further, so that was disappointing.

We'll also find out sometime in July if DH will be able to retire now or if we have to hang on here for awhile. I expect the house to sell quickly and the buyers want to be in sometime in June, so we will have to move not long before I get laid off.

Lots of uncertainty right now and I'm thankful to be older and calmer, because I've been through so much uncertainty that it doesn't phase me anymore! Que sera, sera.
 

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Tell your sister that buyers now use software, not agents, to search for houses. They can put their budget "ceiling" into the search, and then all homes above that are filtered out. Or they search from lowest to highest value, and never even see homes priced higher than their reading-fatigue range.

In other words, people might be willing to pay more for your sister's house if they looked at it -- but because she set the value so high, most buyers don't even know it exists.
Yeah, I've given my advice, but I know better than to repeat myself. She'll hear me once but it's best never to repeat yourself in my family.
 

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We're getting our house ready for market on May 1 too. Prices here are stupid high right now and I don't expect it to last, so we want to get as much as possible even if we have to rent and stay in PA a year or two till DH can retire.

I'm still working full-time but my entire department of 80 was told last month our jobs are going to India and we'll be laid off in July. I've been working from home since March of '20 and was hoping to stay with this company and keep working strictly online for a few more years and build our nest egg up even further, so that was disappointing.

We'll also find out sometime in July if DH will be able to retire now or if we have to hang on here for awhile. I expect the house to sell quickly and the buyers want to be in sometime in June, so we will have to move not long before I get laid off.

Lots of uncertainty right now and I'm thankful to be older and calmer, because I've been through so much uncertainty that it doesn't phase me anymore! Que sera, sera.
How does your severance package look? My older sister was laid off a couple of years ago with 8 months severance package but got a job paying similar money in New Brunswick (much cheaper than Toronto) a month later. It was fantastic because she was earning 2 full time incomes for 6 months. I'd never been jealous of someone getting laid off before. You might find other work online.
 

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How does your severance package look? My older sister was laid off a couple of years ago with 8 months severance package but got a job paying similar money in New Brunswick (much cheaper than Toronto) a month later. It was fantastic because she was earning 2 full time incomes for 6 months. I'd never been jealous of someone getting laid off before. You might find other work online.
Oh, how I wish! LOL. I was only with the company 1 1/2 years and my job is pretty minor. My severance is 2 weeks pay. That's it. I can't even look for another job right now because I don't know if we'll be moving south in July or August. But it's all good. We'll land on our feet somewhere, we always do.
 

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Well it happened again, though not in the suburb where I live. The suburb it happened in isn't close to me, though it is in the same county (Hennepin). We had a curfew imposed on us from 7 pm last night to 6 am today. Last year in May was the last time we had such a curfew. I do not know if they will repeat or extend it for more evenings this week. But this is why I prep.

Did confirm yesterday w/boss that it is allowed, if needed, to work from a different location in the state temporarily. Only requirement is that the location has Internet. That is good, under the the old rules, you had to be within a couple hours of driving distance in case a meeting was scheduled on the same day. If I have to leave town because my apartment building is being trashed, I can. So that is good news. Was planning to wait til closing arguments to make an overnight bag, but maybe I will do that sooner.
 

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We had a very dear friend pass away unexpectedly Thursday. He was 69. He had been suffering from early on set dementia and had really been going down hill the last year or so.

Wed. night his wife went to bed about 10:30 and he was laying on the couch watching TV. When she tried to wake him at 8 the next morning, he was gone. As sad as it is that he is gone the way he went was a blessing. He went peacefully with his dignity intact. He didn't have to go to a nursing home or anything.

Sardog was a pall bearer at his funeral yesterday and his daughter, only child, got up and said the most beautiful eulogy we had ever heard. She had us with tears running down our cheeks both from sadness and laughter. It was amazing.

RIP Rodney.
 

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We found a 200 acre plot 15 minutes drive from Mattawa, Ontario that our families are happy with. My sister and her husband are the ones selling their house first and is putting in the offer this week. There are other people probably putting in offers (blind bids in Canada) so we'll cross our fingers and see if we win. It's tempting to put our bid high to make sure we win, but we're remembering more land will come up. If we win, that's wonderful. If not, we keep going.

We like this site because the frontage south facing with a shallow valley with a cute view of hay fields (there are quite a few people with horses in the area). It's near the border of Algonquin park. On the north side there's a breath taking view of a valley with a small river and bordering crown lands. Most of the mature trees have been harvested but there's a good mix and some will mature in the next 10-20 years. We were going to use SIPS anyway, it's just we wanted timber frame too. My older sister works for a lumber company in New Brunswick and has offered discounted lumber/timber. So it's not imperative we have matures trees now. Plenty of water and the soil looks like it's in good condition. Not planning on farming it but it's nice.

It's more land than we were planning on but the views are worth paying buying more land than we need. There's more than enough land on the ridge for 3 houses. It's exciting but I'm trying to remember it's not a done deal. We've got a long way to go.
 
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