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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I sit here alone tonight, listening to gentle and soft guitar music.

I pray that you all will forgive me for my rambling, here. I'm feeling kind of alone, right now.

I shouldn't be alone. I am certainly attractive enough [not beautiful, but attractive], I think that I am fundamentally a good person...

I work hard for my money and have been blessed with many a talent and an ability.

Yet I am alone, tonight, listening to my gentle music.

I am too damned independent for my own good, perhaps, I think, perhaps, maybe.

Is such a blessing or is it a curse?

I am in a committed relationship with one whom is dearly loved, but I sometimes think about the past and how that it could have been, were I not whom that I am, whom that I became, over so many years of 'unconventional' and non-standard maturation and socialization...

Through so much adversity from multiple and sometimes shocking vectors, I have come,

To be who that I have become, as I sit here listening to my music.

I probably should not even be alive today, given what I have had to pass through and to endure, in this life.

"C'est La Vie, Oui?"

You see so much in this life, and so much of it is hideous and ugly, the stuff that people do to each other, you know?

There is so much useless hate to be found, so much cruelty and it is so very unnecessary and gratuitous...so much avarice and greed.

It is why that I served for 24 years, in the armed forces.

It is ultimately the reason why that we are all here today, in this forum.

Love IS the answer, my compatriots. Why is it so seemingly difficult to put into practice, it s wondered?

I will eventually be OK. I am just feeling slightly overwhelmed and highly stressed, tonight. I think too much, they tell me, but it a product of being possessed of a contemplative mind and a solitude which is not desirable.

As has been stated so often that it has become comically trite, but is nonetheless relevant,

"Why can't we all just get along?"
 

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"Partnership of equals" is harder to maintain than "ProtecterProvider / Dependant", due to drifting apart. Without feeling a 'need' for each other, sometimes commitment is also lacking. All just opinion of course.

Best wishes on finding companionship. Which includes acceptance the companion will never be able to supply all criteria.
 

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Thanks for your thoughtful and personal post, LF.

I'm right there with you.

I wonder at hate and destruction, and ask myself why people aren't more in touch with the consequnces of their actions. Even a single rude comment to a person in the grocery store is an act of negativity, and however deserved the comment might be, it's something that I will try to not engage in.

I've come to basically have a buddhist-like take on how my life has progressed. Something along the lines of: try to influence that which you can influence, and try to understand that which you cannot influence.

More simply--Try hard, but everything happens for a reason.

It's all about being in the moment and being the person who you can be, while at the same time being the person you want to be. I also think that human relationships are the most important think about being a human being (tis is pretty muc the definition of trite!)

HippieSurvivalist
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
You touch upon a good point: the power of 'mere' words.

You can actually kill, by using the wrong words, be it intentional or not.

You can also witness astounding healing power, in using timely and well spoken words to a troubled human being.

You can help them to see and to understand that which they cannot, because of strong negative emotions which they are feeling.

I need to be more balanced, like you, for I grow angry and frustrated at the things which are evil and which I cannot change.
 

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I think a lot of anger and frustration comes form unconscious, or semi-conscious sources. Obviously anger and frustration are un healthy in high doses, too.

I think a lot of angst comes from the physical setting one is in. We're conditioned to think things like "I'm in a bad mood becuase of all that traffic on the drive home" but we often do not ask the deeper questions, like "Why the hell am I in traffic in the first place? Humans didn't evolve to sit in a small metal box, with insipid noise from the radio, on a highway for 45 minutes, did they?"

I think physical setting is very important. That's why I don't live in SE Michigan! I lived in Ann Arbor, and while it was a very good culture in terms of my friends there and lots of excitement, I hated the PHYSICAL SETTING! All the "metro parks" were far away, and I had to drive everywhere or risk my life on my bicycle (I got hit by a van in Ann Arbor in 2001-NO FUN! but I was riding with an ER doc who took good care of me). For me, the simple lack of nature, or at least anything resembling wild nature, caused me to be unhappy. IT wasn't just the fact that the winters were so damn dark, which I was I attributed my unhappyness to, I now live in the "semi-country" of Vermont which has equally dark winters, but am a much happier person becuase of the environment in Vermont versus Ann Arbor (I moved to Vermont in 2002).

Anyway, I didn't intend this to be a lecture--I'm just sharing some thoughts about the ways that I've achieved more happiness in my life than I used to have.

HippieSurvivalist
 

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I am a firm, firm believer in life is what you make of it.

I dont believe that anything bad ever really happens. Experiences are what happens. As humans we label these experiences as good or bad.

Everything that ever happens to you is something to learn from. To make you stronger, smarter and more prepared for whatever life throws at you next.

I dont know if its the right way or not, to some it may seem as if I dont care or have given up, but I dont worry about things I cant control. Stress, and being worried, are wasted emotions in most cases as far as I am concerned.

Life is the most precious thing we have. I do the things I need to do to be able to enjoy it as much as I can with the people I love and care for.

I do my very best to avoid self pity, and personally believe that many problems that people have are derived from being a bit to self involved, or self centered. I am far, far, from perfect, and every day I try to be alittle bit better than I was the day before. Sometimes I succed, and often times I do not. But every day I learn something new.

People have preconcieved notions on what life ought to be like for them and in general. I try to think of it more along the lines that life is a roller coaster and I am along for the ride. Not that I dont have any control over my own life, far be it to some extent. But things will happen, every single day that you would rather not happen. You get a flat on the way to work, you lose your job, or someone you care about leaves you or dies.

I dont view things as events happening to ME per say, as much as things happening in life, and how I choose to react to them, or how I choose to let them affect me is my decision.

I can go curl up in a ball and scream at the world, or I can stand up and keeping walking, armed with a bit of knowledge that life has not beaten me yet.

I burry myself as much as possible in loving and caring for my family. I have learned to be happy and content with what we have as much as possible.

I know this is a bit off the track of what you all were talking about, but in some ways I thought it may relate, so thought Id share a bit myself.

Like I said, it may not be perfect, but thats o.k. it works for me. :D:
 

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I sit here alone tonight, listening to gentle and soft guitar music.

I pray that you all will forgive me for my rambling, here. I'm feeling kind of alone, right now.

I shouldn't be alone. I am certainly attractive enough [not beautiful, but attractive], I think that I am fundamentally a good person...

I work hard for my money and have been blessed with many a talent and an ability.

Yet I am alone, tonight, listening to my gentle music.

I am too damned independent for my own good, perhaps, I think, perhaps, maybe.

Is such a blessing or is it a curse?

I am in a committed relationship with one whom is dearly loved, but I sometimes think about the past and how that it could have been, were I not whom that I am, whom that I became, over so many years of 'unconventional' and non-standard maturation and socialization...

Through so much adversity from multiple and sometimes shocking vectors, I have come,

To be who that I have become, as I sit here listening to my music.

I probably should not even be alive today, given what I have had to pass through and to endure, in this life.

"C'est La Vie, Oui?"

You see so much in this life, and so much of it is hideous and ugly, the stuff that people do to each other, you know?

There is so much useless hate to be found, so much cruelty and it is so very unnecessary and gratuitous...so much avarice and greed.

It is why that I served for 24 years, in the armed forces.

It is ultimately the reason why that we are all here today, in this forum.

Love IS the answer, my compatriots. Why is it so seemingly difficult to put into practice, it s wondered?

I will eventually be OK. I am just feeling slightly overwhelmed and highly stressed, tonight. I think too much, they tell me, but it a product of being possessed of a contemplative mind and a solitude which is not desirable.

As has been stated so often that it has become comically trite, but is nonetheless relevant,

"Why can't we all just get along?"

Hi! This is interesting to read. You get some strong feelings!
Seems a sad happy from a strong lady. Almost of people dont like to let anyone to see their feeling. Instead you make me feel what you feel.

Oh I dont know what to say. Maybe drink some tea with me?
i
 

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my thoughts

Oh why, Oh why
.... a humble sigh
Does my briefness
Cause your thoughts to fly?

you request me to convey my feeling of intent

by expressions of poetry is how I’ll present..

Offer me a rainbow with auroras unmatched,

..allow it to emerge and creates its own path

Magically bent, encasing us close

Colors without end ….

.....… a futile prose..

Offer me the planets, the stars and sun

your world

…. to share with only one

...ahh..

rainbows reveal a promise- but quickly fade…
..my heart has become bitter from games well played

Master of illusion does once more apply
..a true wizard -my heart can spy..

Doors have been blocked and locks remain,

to tread on these paths, my wizard, abstain

…….move my dim eyes
...release the suppressed

tie my fears ..
..I command the rest

Words have run dry and riderless where fixed stars govern a life.
 

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I think your feelings are perfectly natural. And your way of dealing with them is spot on. My only bit of advice is to keep preservering day by day. Although you're seeing a lot of the ugly world right now, there is also a lot of good things happening too. Change the things you can; pray for strength to endure the things you can't.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Oh why, Oh why
.... a humble sigh
Does my briefness
Cause your thoughts to fly?

you request me to convey my feeling of intent

by expressions of poetry is how I’ll present..

Offer me a rainbow with auroras unmatched,

..allow it to emerge and creates its own path

Magically bent, encasing us close

Colors without end ….

.....… a futile prose..

Offer me the planets, the stars and sun

your world

…. to share with only one

...ahh..

rainbows reveal a promise- but quickly fade…
..my heart has become bitter from games well played

Master of illusion does once more apply
..a true wizard -my heart can spy..

Doors have been blocked and locks remain,

to tread on these paths, my wizard, abstain

…….move my dim eyes
...release the suppressed

tie my fears ..
..I command the rest

Words have run dry and riderless where fixed stars govern a life.

Of a truth, I do love poetry.

Thankest thou, do I.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 · (Edited)
I think your feelings are perfectly natural. And your way of dealing with them is spot on. My only bit of advice is to keep preservering day by day. Although you're seeing a lot of the ugly world right now, there is also a lot of good things happening too. Change the things you can; pray for strength to endure the things you can't.
And you sir, are spot on, with yours.

You would think that after being counseled repeatedly to take each day as it comes, that this advice would penetrate my thick skull.

Why is yours so difficult a lesson for me to learn??

"Type A" personality? Perfectionist nature? Frustration with the processes of life and living?

Frustration with SELF?

I drive myself NUTS [well, more nuts] and in that respect, I am my own worst enemy.

I am generally OK, living in semi-forced solitude [at the moment], but sometimes it just gets to me. Granted, I am whom that I am, but I still love people.

Solitude is not a thing desired - at least not anymore.

But some have it far worse than I do. Many do. Mine is more of a yearning I suppose, in contradistinction to an actual complaint.

As for the state of this world and mankind in general, to my demise I obsess and permit myself to become angry and outraged with the current and recurring throughout history, state of affairs.

Shall I apologize for hating hate, injustice, greed, avarice and cruelty? I think not, but I take it to an extreme in obsessing over that which I cannot globally change and to rectify.

Shall I apologize for caring? No, But I am paying a heavy price for taking it to an extreme, outside of my sphere of influence.

A problem is that a part of me is equating the adoption of a healthy perspective, which acknowledges my limitations to change the seedier aspects of human behavior, to adopting a posture of lassitude and apathy.

That just is not the case. I can only change and influence that which is within my power to change.

I need to learn moderation. and I need to follow your counsel, in living one day at a time.

Very well put, sir.
 

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Fortes Fortuna Juvat
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Breathe. just breathe.....

The right thing will come to you if you don't force nature to flow.
 

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we all have good days and bad day with out love ones
remember this say
for i will love you today and i will love tomorrow and i will hold to my heart with all my love but somewhere inbetween those days there be some sorrow with our love my love
this is not a saying of love my women but a saying of that with us there will not allways be bright sunny days for there be some dark and cloudy days with rains and thunderstrorms called for and some days a little thunder and lighting in the mix
but with this i will tell this for i we love you with all my heart and soul and my body intill iam called to next cycle of life
my late wife father give me a drawing with those words on it and i keep on my desk to remind that i have to work everyday to be a better mate to my women than the day before
 

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Iliked your post I....... I am very thankful my wife is self sufficient and independent and head strong. Because I am as well, have we had some real battles once or twice but in order to polish a diamond you have to knock off the corners when there feelings, its gonna hurt some. but for those of you who can stick it out what you'll find underneath will be worth the trouble.
What i like best about a woman like that is they can stand on there own and that means you don't have be bent over all the time trying to help.
You sound like a great lady and someone will be very lucky one day.......
Good Luck
 

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"Why can't we all just get along?"
Some say familiarity breeds contempt, and can turn even the best of friends and closest of lovers into the bitterest of enemies.

For some they find themselves intolerant of others differences, be it political, religious, or sexual persuasion, (among others too numerous to list) and when they discover such differences of belief/opinion in those they call friend or companion they allow it to cloud their judgment and blind them to the relationship they have. The person they called "friend" or "lover" instead becomes a representation of the belief they are opposed to; the former closeness dwindled to a ember and replaced by a icon of all they despise.

Of course some people think through this, and realize this person was their friend before they knew about their preferences or beliefs, and they can accept them for who they are despite their differences of belief. Others however are not so wise and allow such differences to destroy the relationship and form a bitter animosity.

Love IS the answer, my compatriots. Why is it so seemingly difficult to put into practice, it's wondered?
A difficult question to answer, perhaps because of human nature itself. Emotions from what I've seen for many in love, are like a pendulum, swinging from one end to the other full tilt as unexpected events arise. These emotions effect how one interacts with those they love, and for some it gets in the way of being honest, which is something everyone struggles with.

Many people are independent and possess a certain degree of personal dignity and pride, thus they are loathe to lose "face" or allow certain aspects of their past to be known, especially to those they love and care about.

This pride at times can get in the way of open honest communication between lovers, leading to serious arguments far beyond the normal "difference of opinion" that is common to any couple in a relationship.

Honesty, from what I've experienced is the foundation of any working relationship; right next to trust and mutual respect. When one attempts to keep matters of seriousness from those they love and are found out it erodes the corner stone of trust. (After all if ones lover is dishonest how can one truly trust them?)

With trust eroded mutual respect crumbles equally as fast, quickly tearing down the relationship with it. (It is hard to respect someone that you cannot trust and isn't honest with you after all.)

In the aftermath of this ruination many relationships fail utterly, sometimes violently so, ending with a burning hatred felt by one (or more) people involved. The hatred itself may not even be justified, or heartfelt, but instead a defense mechanism to protect oneself from the hurt and loss they feel. With some people they feel, (subconsciously at times) if they hate their former lover with as much passion as they loved them, then perhaps they won't feel the pain of that loss as acutely.

When taken to the extreme such people may even find themselves making excuses or inventing reasons to hate the one they loved, at times even letting this hatred effect future relationships they may find themselves in; thus creating a vicious cycle that tarnishes any future relationships they may have.
 

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Lady F just keep in mind what Ernest Hemingway said "If you have two friends in your life you are lucky and make d amn sure one of them is yourself."

I personally like "Boys are yucky, throw rocks at them,"

:)
 
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