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A buddy out of Longview said he'd killed a mosquito that was carrying a canteen.


A man in Dime Box said the chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.



On Lake Palestine, they caught a 20 lbs. catfish that had ticks on it!


But just this week, in Bryan, a fire hydrant was seen bribing a dog.


It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks and the Episcopalians are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
 

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HEAT WAVES CAUSES RANCHERS TO SELL BARBECUE DIRECTLY FROM THE FIELD

Ranchers in southern states hit by sweltering heat are selling
fully cooked barbecue right from the livestock.

"We let the customer choose the cattle and then we hose it down
with sauce and send it out into the fields. Within twenty minutes
the barbecue is piping hot and ready to eat," said a Texas rancher.

Barbecue restaurants are crying foul over the direct sales of the
product to the public.
"This damn heat wave is killing the cattle and our business. We
can't compete with the lower overhead of the rancher when we provide
our customers with a table, chairs and fan as well as swat flies,"
said waitress Flo Moore of the "Greasy Fat Dripping Spoon" restaurant
in Amarillo.

The heat has also changed business for farmers who are using their
former crop fields as giant baking pans for brownies.
"It's the only way I can put my land and this hellish heat to any
use so I'm baking white chocolate, espresso brownies with macadamia
nuts for those rip-off coffee houses, said a farmer in Oklahoma.
 

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It was so hot...

All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through
the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.
 
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