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Demon of the Midwest
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4,978 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, you might have thought that you knew how Al Gore invented the internet, but here's the TRUE story ....



In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of

Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of

Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of

leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.



And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so

far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without

ever leaving thy tent?"



And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle

bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"



And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in

between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they

will reply telling you who hath the best price.



And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by

Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."



Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way

with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.



Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever

having to move from his tent.



To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the

drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the

drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS),

and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures

- Hebrew To The People (HTTP)



But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did

secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of

Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and

prosecuted - for insider trading.



And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the

greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called

Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.



And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and

the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real

riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother

William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.

And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only

with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.



And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being

taken over by others."



And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it

came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."



And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they

named it YAHOO Dot Com.



Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic

Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate

things around the countryside.



It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating

Everything (GOOGLE)



And that is how it all began.
 

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Never Give up
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7,579 Posts
Al gore lie? Tell me it aint so? Doesn that mean no global warming? Ahh and I need to work on my tan.
 

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Super Moderator
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14,989 Posts
Hahaha, that is great. I love you.
 

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American fearmaker
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14,249 Posts
No. No. Years ago I told Al Gore about this idea I had. At the time we weren't going to call it the internet. We were going to call it the Land Web System or LWS. Any way, Al took my idea, claimed it for himself and invented the internet system. I didn't get anything for my efforts. Thieving Democrat...
 
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