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Off the leash
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2,312 Posts
I've got one that my avatar Isaac did. As I've said he was a SAR that unfortunately did mostly cadaver searches.

One afternoon we were at my Mother and Father-in-laws house sitting on there back patio visiting. My FIL and Isaac adored each other and Is was laying at his feet being petted and loved as he usually was when we were there.

Right across the street from them is/was a funeral home. With a funeral going on. All of a sudden Isaac raised his head up and took off running toward the funeral home. Just as the casket was being brought out. He ran up to it, bumped it with his nose and started barking like crazy. By this time my husband and I were right behind him absolutely horrified at what he was doing. Sardog was trying to call him back without yelling. He then explained to the people that Is was a trained SAR dog and he was just doing what he thought he was supposed to do. Thankfully the people understood and didn't get upset. That was the only time I ever wanted to act like I had no idea who Isaac was.
 

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Crazy Cat Lady
Plan to Alamo at home.
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16,722 Posts
Oh!

I forgot about the taxidermy bear by the front door when I called 911, they were scared to come in when they got here the day Ron died. It is funny now all these trained first responders yelling and carrying on and I'm screaming for them in the back... funny NOW.

Ay yi yi.
 

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Crazy Cat Lady
Plan to Alamo at home.
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16,722 Posts
I had grown men, veterans of horrible calls, screaming like girls and SCARED to come in! :LOL: :LOL:

I mean it didn't matter Ron was already dead...

Here's the bear, we named him Henry.
 

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Premium Member
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1,818 Posts
One of far too many.

Went over to a close friends house ,and his wife answered the door.

She was wearing what I call an 'umpiiree' dress,you know the one worn by women who are pregnant.

So of course I asked, "when are you due,and congrats ".

I got an icy stare from them both and a loud NO !.

25 years later I call the same man on the phone and I hear his wife ask who is on the phone.

He yells back my name ,she responds LOUDLY " oh that F;ing A--hole ".

see,it is the scar that never heals.

She did forgive me by hugging me at his funeral wake.
 

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Founder
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16,869 Posts
Last week at work a lady was mopping the hallway. I walked along the edge of the wall trying not to step on the wet spots and ran into a safety glasses dispenser. The dispenser was made out of plastic. When I hit it with my arm the thing ripped off the wall and hit the floor.
 

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"TURGID FLUX"
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6,202 Posts
Christmas Eve 1981 - JFK airport bound for OK. I dropped a Christmas present that contained an expensive radio and watched as the crowd kicked it down an escalator. I go running after it cussing a blue streak. Just as I get my hands on it I look up to see a line of old nuns on the escalator next to me going up ALL of them killing me with eye daggers. Oh but it gets better. I can't even print what I said next without thinking, outside the DS, but it involved the names of Mary and Jesus and a sex act. By that point it wasn't just nuns staring at me.
Yeah, I really did feel bad.
To heck with nuns and cussing blue streaks. Haven't they read the bible? Some wild stuff in there!

Hoping no radios were broken...
 
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Indefatigable
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20,523 Posts

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"TURGID FLUX"
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6,202 Posts
You ain't never, seen a sailor move, after launching his boat..................
And finding the plug, in your pocket.................
A water let'er outer

 

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BASS
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2,176 Posts
I wasn't what I said but the reaction of my friends parents at his grandmother's funeral. We hadn't seen each other of years. He was a recovered drug addict and we acted just as you would expect of people who hadn't seen each other or been in contact with each other for years. He had moved South and I thought he had died.. Man hugs and back slapping and laughing two people way from his mother and father. His mother and father weren't happy and it didn't take words to know it.
My friend said, "Guess what I am doing now as a recovering drug addict? I am still clean and I counsel drug addicts". We both laughed and got more looks"! More man hugs and laughs...
Sadly.. 😢 my friend passed away many years ago having gotten aids from infected needles. He did reunite with his daughters and maybe? his wife. I miss my friend. 😕
 

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Crazy Cat Lady
Plan to Alamo at home.
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16,722 Posts
I would want people to laugh at Ron's funeral.
 
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The Black Death
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378 Posts
I went to Chinatown and got drunk with friends.

Stopped in to a shop and bought a duck to go.

Took the duck home and kept drinking. Ate the duck.

Woke up the next day with a hangover and swore that I did not know what happened to the duck.

Took the devoured carcass back to the shop for a refund! The butcher was mad a h*ll but gave me a refund!!!

I figured it out over the next few days. Have not been back to Chinatown in a decade!
 

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The Black Death
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378 Posts
I was in Chicago in the business district with all of the sky-scrapers.

Grabbed the door for an elderly woman who was carrying an armload of books.

She said, "Thank you very much!"

I said, "Absolutely. I'd expect the same when I get to your age." Doh! I knew that isn't what I meant while I was saying it and tried to stop, but it was too late.
 

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The Black Death
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378 Posts
I would want people to laugh at Ron's funeral.
If I had a funeral, I'd rather people listened to music and a slideshow of images that I liked. Instead of a funeral though, I'm thinking of having my ashes dumped in the Sea between China and Japan where WW III will kick off. But, I may not be so lucky to be dead, and they may draft me at 60+ to go fight the Chinese!!!
 

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ICBM Warrior
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507 Posts
OK...here we go!!! 2nd Lt time. My first ever squadron Christmas party. Didn't know what a "White Elephant" party was. Ops officer's wife says "just get something weird/funny". I go to Spencer's Gifts and I see it...A box that says..."I didn't know what to get you, so I made this for you myself". Open the box and it's 6" latex turd. I think...ok, cool.

Get to the party and it's the last gift under the tree (WTF??). The group commander (O-6) shows up and he gets it...ughhhh. No poker face for me...no one says anything.

I later tell another Lt friend (prior enlisted who worked with the O-6 in a previous assignment) the story...he laughs and says...you? Yeah me...he says don't worry about it...he uses it as a paperweight on his desk!
 

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Registered
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410 Posts
Isn't this my whole life?
You mention dropped ring at the wedding. Now I have to share that story. I'm from the US, but got married in Canada. My father in law was a pastor there. For some reason I can't remember, the pastor gets the ring first. He did the ceremony. So he fumbles the ring and it rolls under his daughters dress. He feels around for it and my very soon to be wife doesn't want to move off her mark. Pastor dad keeps fumbling around on his hands and knees (in front of about 500 guests, most who know him.) He finally just throws the dress up over his head and crawls under. At this point she finally decided to back WAY up, exposing the ring.
Just a minor faux pas 😄
 
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