[Vanishing Nomad]

So my sister had a house in a nice South Suburb of Chicago (Oaklawn). She has a good husband and a young 1-1/2 yearold.

So what does she do? She moves in around North and Narragansett to raise him in a high crime, high drug use and trafficking area.......

When she was younger, she moved into the Humble park area. She tried to tell us all it was "Bucktown", but you could hear the nightly gunshots in Humble park from her apartment. Just driving into that area you can see trouble (high amount of Gang bangers everywhere)

I don't now if she just likes living in depressed areas, is completely naive about her surroundings, or is it me and i am the one with the issues??

 

[Melsrogue]

Sorry to hear that. Sometimes untill things effect someone personally they live in denial. Just keep on her to get the F out of there. Speak with her husband. Maybe help her get into self defense classes and possibly a cc permit. And no your not crazy.

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

I am not saying anything to her. The more i discus it, the more tensions there will be. In the end, she will do the opposite of what i say, no matter how much logic i can put on the table anyway. The very fact that I think she should not be there, will entrench her in deeper.

Besides, it's too late now, they are already moved in. All I can do is complain to vent it out of my system.

 

[Lowdown3]

It reminds me of when you hear "survivalists" that live in a high crime area and keep there family there just for the sake of money. Then they post how they are mugged, in bad situations, etc. I just don't understand that.

Part of being a survivor is AVOIDING problems like that if you can.

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

I agree. It doesn't make any sense to me. She is several blocks from my uncles, who moved there when they were kids with my grandmother back in the 1950's or 60's sometime and just never left.

Growing up there was cool, but it was a much nicer, low crime area back then. It's been steadily going down hill for the last 10 or more years now.

I almost think she has some sort of attachment to the area from our childhood or some such thing. She must be seeing it how it *Was*, not how it is.

 

[pete7469]

Sorry to hear that. Sometimes untill things effect someone personally they live in denial. Just keep on her to get the F out of there. Speak with her husband. Maybe help her get into self defense classes and possibly a cc permit. And no your not crazy.

There is no legal CC in The People's Republik of Illinois. She's screwed, hope she has good life insurance.

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

Correct, especially in Chicago.

I am upset that she is going to raise my nephew in that area.

With the way the neighborhood has changed, the schools are sure to be populated with all the really bad influences.

I remember when my daughter was little. I bent over backwards too make sure she was in good schools, in good neighborhoods full of good kids from good families.

I sacrificed getting a house to keep her in private school and competitive gymnastics.

Today she is a great kid, with a good head on her shoulders. She has great grades, is multi lingual, works hard and has a clear direction for her life.

Keeping her intentionally surrounded by quality people, in a quality enviroment was a major component to the way she turned out.

I just don't get why my dingy sister isn't thinking the same way.

In addition, I can't see why anyone would want to live in that area anymore. It's not the 1970's, the neighborhood has totally changed.

 

[Watcher]

Is she some sort of liberal trying to show how unracist and open minded she is by where she lives?

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

Maybe, but I don't think so. She does tend to lean towards the liberal side, but I think it's more about havening an irrational attachment to that neighborhood.

Either that, or she is just profoundly unaware of her surroundings. Maybe it's a combination of both.

She is a good person, does not do drugs, a hard worker and such. In other areas she has a good head on her shoulders, but she seems to like to live in bad, crime infested neighborhoods for some reason.

Maybe she is trying to prove she has no fear?

I don't know, I am totally baffled.

 

[countryboy123]

Is she some sort of liberal trying to show how unracist and open minded she is by where she lives?

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Watcher]

I'm sorry. People often behave irrationally and no amount of reason and logic will change their minds. Infact, that can just cause them to dig their heels in deeper. Perhaps the state of the local schools will help wake her up.

Anyway, i just hope nothing serious happens to confirm your worst fears. It can be desperately frustrating when people we care about make decisions that we can see will only hurt them.

 

[Roastie]

I suppose many different types of people live in those areas. I for one could never understand wanting to live there just for the sake of it unless they actually had a reason? Maybe she has a valid reason, such as cheaper rent, or a closer job for her husband, or perhaps she just dislikes living away from certain family or closer to others that she doesn't wish to discuss with you?

That also would cause her to get irritable if you pressed the issue with her since she may not want to be there herself but be forced to for some reason or another.

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

That's why I'm not going to talk to her about it. I said my piece years ago when she moved to humble park, and it fell on deaf ears.

Her and i are often on shakey ground anyway, so i don't want to get her mad at me.

 

[preparedmama]

Instead of discussing the crime in the area how about getting test scores from the schools and show how poorly her son will end up doing. I bought a house in an area that was okay and is now pushing questionable. I fought tooth and nail and now have my kids bused out of area. They just agreed to shut me up...either way I dont care I got what I want.

 

[Thedishdoc]

Part of being a survivor is AVOIDING problems like that if you can.

That's one of the best lessons I learned in martial arts as well. Martial arts training gives you the confidence to walk away from a fight (nothing to prove) and the situational awareness to avoid one in the first place. :thumb:

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

That's one of the best lessons I learned in martial arts as well. Martial arts training gives you the confidence to walk away from a fight (nothing to prove) and the situational awareness to avoid one in the first place. :thumb:

Reply]
Agreed, same here.

I am kind of funny that way, I have o fear about really mixing it up with my training partners, or a competitor, but I try to avoid real violence. That includes not living in bad areas in the first place.

 

[Macumazahn]

Have you just simply asked her why she is there? If you did, did you shut up and listen to the answer? I know I probably sound like a jerk but if you do not know then is sounds like there is a lack of communication. If she does not want to listen to you then your second best option is to listen to her. If you keep listening maybe you will find the core of her opinion and can find a way around it. Maybe she will change her mind in six months and the two of you can get together on an exit strategy.

My solution would be to never visit her there. Family or know you can not help them by letting them hurt you. Getting killed in a car jacking on the way to her place for Turkey Day is not my idea of the best way to go out.

 

[Vanishing Nomad]

I am just not going to discuss it with her.

Car jackings are not so big there. It's an area where home invasions are high, drug dealing, gangs, auto breakins and thefts.

One of my biggest concerns is that her son will be absolutely pickled in bad influances, and destructive culture when he gets to be school aged.

There is a huge safety concern in that area as well though. You couldn't pay me to live there. There are worse neighborhoods though, like the one she used to live in after college, but there are plenty of really good neighborhoods she could have chosen as well. Why she didn't is what confuses me.

For example, she could have gone to franklin park, and been in a way better area. Even there is not the greatest anymore, but it's a serious improvement over where she is at.

Of course, the place she had in Oak lawn was really nice. She was in a good neighborhood, with good neighbors, minimal crime, no overtly noticeable gang problems.