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Scarred for life...
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hate to say this, but most of the people in a Nursing Home are not far from deaths doorstep anyway and the loss of power or sudden major catastrophe would wreak havoc on the caregivers' ability to care for these people.

Many of them require substantial amounts of medications just to survive and many of them remain in a vegetative state despite that. IMO it is no way to live but you should consider this if your mother is in there and requires a lot of care.

In a SHTF scenario you might be forced to come to their aid, and then have no knowledge or equipment or medication to care for them. Even worse you might not be able to come to their aid and have to live with the idea that they were suffering greatly and about to die.

I guess the only answer for this would be some very difficult choices.

Maybe you could take some classes on how to care for the elderly? BTW don't think that you would be able to do that because you know how to change a baby's diaper. It is much different with an adult who has adult strength but has lost all understanding of basic activities and must be fed, bathed, cleaned, and watched over constantly.

Ive just finished a Nursing class and was really shocked at how much care most of these people require just to live. Out of 200 residents, maybe 5 of them could survive 48 hours by themselves and most would not survive 24 hours without nearly constant care.

It is a terrible thing to see someone who has Alzheimer's and doesn't even remember their own name, much less their children, where they are, what day it is, what they are supposed to do with food, how to dress themselves, how to go to the toilet, etc etc etc etc etc etc .

Again, there is no good answer to this question, but I figured it would be better for you to know now than face this situation later with no forethought or planning.
 

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I hate to be too callous, and I certainly know this situation as my mother is in a nursing home, but if the situation calls for a level of triage including abondonment, so be it. Statistically 5 surviving out of 200, accurate or not, is no reason to drag them along. Realistically it might be more prudent to consider the kitchen and food storage areas as sources for yourself!!!
 

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No we keep older family members at home till they can't go at all anymore. My mother in law is 95 and lives with us. I would not have it any other way. If I plan to take my dog with me, I sure as heck will take all my family. Mom can still drive if she needs to. I understand that we all may be faced with being left behind. I know that is something you have to consider as a father. Your kids and wife go first. If I have to climb over my kids to survive then I don't think it is worth it.
 

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Scarred for life...
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I hate to be too callous, and I certainly know this situation as my mother is in a nursing home, but if the situation calls for a level of triage including abondonment, so be it. Statistically 5 surviving out of 200, accurate or not, is no reason to drag them along. Realistically it might be more prudent to consider the kitchen and food storage areas as sources for yourself!!!


I hate to but I must agree with you on this.

To care for just one person would require around 4 to 10 hours per day out of a persons time.

For instance...

Meal time might include having to spoon feed someone who had no understanding of what food was anymore. The food might have to be pre chewed because the person lacked the ability to chew food anymore as well as the ability to swallow unless the food was a specific consistency.

Constant or nearly constant bowel movements, coupled with their inability to understand the purpose of a commode, means a lot of time spent cleaning them up.

If the caregiver tried to take a nap he or she might be forced to transfer care to another person to keep them from wandering off. Wandering off is a major problem in Nursing homes. They cant restrain the residents but they cannot let them wander out into the highway either, which seems to be the goal of everyone who can walk.

Some residents, in spite of a life of being a gentle person, become a mean, violent person in old age. It is very common for them to hit, bite, spit on, throw feces at, or slap caregivers. This is not like a child throwing a temper tantrum. This is an adult, with most of the time adult strength who is intent on causing anyone who comes near them physical harm.
 

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Home...where the horse is
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We do for our own. My lovely bride's Dad lived with us until he went into the hospital for good. We both took turns getting up in the middle of the night to tend him, as he tried so hard to do things for himself and just couldn't. It is the right hting to do.

Our family has had a long-standing agreement about euthanasia since I was a teenager. We all agreed that if any one of us were there at the bedside of a comatose family member, and were given the choice to "pull the plug" as it were, we would trust the other to make that quality of life decision for us and hold no grudges here or hereafter.

I didn't think I'd have to do it for my own brother. We fought like cats and dogs coming up, but when we both were in the Navy, we became best of friends and stayed that way. He had an aneurysm at his watchstation in the Persian Gulf during the first Gulf War, and ended up paralyzed on half his body in Landstuhl, West Germany. He made it through surgery, but his brain activity ceased about 3 in the morning. I'd traveled with his wife from Mayport to Charleston to Frankfurt to the hospital on emergency leave. He held his wife's hand, put her hand in mine, and went to sleep, never to awaken. I knew what he wanted. We were, thankfully, in a military hospital where "giving grace" is still a part of the practice...we were able to decide to remove all life support and allow him to pass on with some dignity and grace. Thank the Lord.

Hard decision to make, but it's important to discuss among your loved ones. I'd rather take a bullet to the head from a family member than be left behind in an extremis situation to take it from someone else...unless I could take a few with me on the way out, which is a possibility.
 

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I took care of my mother who went to a nursing home for a brain tumor when I just didn't have what she needed at my home, plus at the time, my father was in charge of her and her care decisions. I believe in that state, they are brain dead, which was a blessing really. She has since passed away but I made a promise to my mom that to the best of my ability , I will never let my dad go into a nursing home, other than for rehab and I fulfilled my promise. IT WAS HARD! My father, who was not in good health, ended up coming to live with me until he passed away of Old age and complications of breaking his hip in one of his nursing home rehab trips. I was nurse, daughter, financial decision maker and bill payer, coordinate all health issues, chauffeur, medications distribution, (not fun to change diapers on parent yanno..) making sure he get 3 if not more meals a day, or when ever he needed anything..... and make sure health aids came for baths, and i was cook, plus dealing with my own family.I don't believe I got much sleep being 24 hour nurses but I would do it all over again. I had baby monitors on all the time, just in case i heard anything that was not right. It was a full time job but I would do it all over again. Wish he was back here. I am READY. I was always worried if there was something that would happen and where I live in country, that he would not be able to get on his breathing machine because of lack of power. I had a portable breaking machine but was not powerful, so we went out and brought a generator, just in case, so we would be able to keep heat and his machine on. I planned all the horrible scenarios that could happen and tried to really think the "what if's"! My father use to have this saying, and would say it often to me when he thought he was being a burden, "When you turn 80, they should take you out and just shoot you". I just kept reminding him, that I as not done torturing him yet. He would just laugh. he was my hero. I am sorry, but this hit home, and I want to thank you for your thoughts about the elderly. Parents are so much apart of family. I guess, I would do my best to save my parents, but sometimes, it is the decisions you have to make for your own situations. I would do the best to keep my family unit together.
 

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Just do what Hospice does and deny them food and water till they die.
 

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Information is Ammunition
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now THAT was freaking callus.

my mom is 52 and doesnt move around very fast. there are so many things wrong with her- if she werent with me or friends shed probably be in a home. Shes mentally as with it as ever- except the intense stress she gets in over the loss of her dependency. When Ike hit- she was really out of it, I dont know what will happen or what I will do when 'it' happens. I wont leave her though- I know that much. I don't think I could do it.
 
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Scarred for life...
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Just do what Hospice does and deny them food and water till they die.


I haven't heard of that.

I have heard of MD's putting someone on a high Oxygen level, supposedly to help with poor lung function, but also knowing that it will suppress CO2 levels which the body needs to breathe. Basically the patient suffocates because their brain forgets to breathe for lack of CO2 in the blood. Betcha didn't know that!!!

Ive heard of medications being given in such a way as to cause the heart to stop.
 

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Knocked Down But Up Again
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My husband's grandfather died just yesterday at his nursing home. He was 91 years old as of last Saturday. I'm grateful that he won't have to suffer through a SHTF scenario.

Goodbye, Grandpa.
 
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