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Firefighter-HazMat Tech
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Discussion Starter #1
I figured this might be the place to ask...

DO ya'll have any tips or tricks on how to deal with a very pregnant first time mom? LOL

Love her to death but I'm overwhelmed!
 

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Scandinavian survivor
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No. Just take the crap, shut your mouth and be a man. It´s only forty weeks.
When I was in your situation the missis came to me the day after my son was born, apologized for her ****ty behaviour and told me she understood what an *** she had been.
If you are lucky, your´s is the same and you´ll be paid back, with intrest...
 

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The best you feel while pregnant is tired and slightly ill. You never feel good, you never have your normal amount of energy and you usually ache somewhere. It is way too easy to cry too. Then there is DH, feeling normal, able to take meds when he doesn't feel good - and, its partly his fault you feel bad!

How can she not be a little grouchy? Carefully balanced healthy meals help, but pregnancy still sucks. Despierto is right in his advice. I've just tried to tell you how she feels.

Then there is the sheer terror of the delivery. It will at best hurt a LOT and be scary as hell.
 
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Every man that has Kids has gone through what you are going through. I believe that its God's way to make the man and woman to really think about if they really want to go through with all that before they have another one.
If it was no muss no fuss the earth would be alot more over populated than it already is.
Just my 2 cents!
 

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Be good, Be kind, Make her feel good about herself and above all learn to say Your right, I'm sorry (Even if you know you did nothing), Tell her how much in love you are with her.
Our first was tuff, Second time we had twins that was Hell on earth....

ABOVE ALL STAY STRONG IT'S NOT PERSONAL..........Good Luck it's only temporary
 

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Psalm 34:4
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Hide all the frying pans or anything heavy she can throw at you and just say "yes dear" to anything she wants and any question she asks that doesn't deal with her weight gain. Any questions about her looks, weight, etc... should get an immediate response of "your more beautiful than ever"
 

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Forever Vigilant
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Suck it up man. Up until she got pregnant, you were only dealing with a woman that represented fun times and sex. Now you are dealing with that woman who is now not feeling her best, full of hormones that she has not had to deal with for such long periods, she probably does not feel sexy, and she is not familiar with what being a mom is going to be like, so she is probably a little scared too.

After this, you are going to have to deal with a mom, that at times will seem very irrational to you. This pregnancy is YOUR opportunity to learn how to deal with this new woman that you love. As a mother, she will most likely change and you have to learn to roll with it. This is your best opportunity to learn how to make the necessary adjustments.

If you are overwhelmed now, I really feel for you. It is not going to get easier. From here on out, your days will be filled with greater challenges, love, excitement, and the blessing of children that will drive you mad from time to time. Enjoy every second of it.
 

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Pregnant Wife

And just be aware that the worst time is often after she gives birth. Post-partem depression is very real and can be very serious. My wife spent six weeks in bed after our first was born. As I look back now, I should have gotten her help. But I was too young and inexperienced to realize what it was. Keep all of the above advice in mind, and remember that she will return to "normal" eventually, but you can earn lots of brownie points by being on your best behaviour. This is not about you at this point, it's about her. Keep the faith brother, it does get better., :thumb:
 

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I figured this might be the place to ask...

DO ya'll have any tips or tricks on how to deal with a very pregnant first time mom? LOL

Love her to death but I'm overwhelmed!
Do housework. Rub her feet. Tell her how amazing she is for carrying your child. Take an interest in the pregnancy- go to the appointments if you can, ask her how she's feeling- what the baby looks like at this stage etc. Make her go out with her girlfriends. (That gives you a break AND gets her out of the house, which is a good thing for her mental sanity ;) Send her out with cash.) Other than that? Suck it up- vent to your friends and remember it'll all be worth it when it's over. :)
 

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Suck it up and deal with it is the best advice. And bring home flowers. Nothing expensive-they will die no matter how much you spend on them. I would have been satisfied with a dandelion picked from the front yard every once and awhile!

Lucky for me, my other half gave me two full years after the birth to recover and that was exactly how long it took for my hormones to level out. Of course, I breastfed for two years so I'm sure that had something to do with it.

Good luck!
 

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Knocked Down But Up Again
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As an experienced mama I can tell you this with the utmost of certainty:

WHATEVER YOU SAY WILL BE WRONG -EVEN IF YOU ARE RIGHT.

Try to be patient with her and remember that this, too, shall pass.
 

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Send her to stay at her mama's house for a while. Then go fishing.
You best package that in a way that lets her think it's a gift- a good thing- and not that you're doing it to get rid of her- otherwise that kid and your wife may well not come back... Women don't tend to like to be "sent" anywhere they didn't choose to go. ;) (Barring tropical vacations)
 

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Also remember that many pregnant women experience many LOWS and HIGHS while pregnant.

My advice is to be sympathetic to the lows. Don't dismiss them, but try to be cuddly if she likes that. "Oh, honey. I know you feel rotten right now, but I'm so excited about the baby. I can't wait to see who the baby looks like. Would you like me to rub your back?"

Ditto on the highs. I think one of the worse things you can do to make the pregnancy worse is not to rejoice when she's on a high. When she's feeling good and thrilled about the baby, and talking your head off, you'd better damn well act thrilled, as well, or she will begin to question your marriage, your commitment to fatherhood, your commitment to her, etc. Yeah, I know pregnancy isn't always as real to the male as it is to the female, but just get with the program. Ok? :) And if you take the initiative even in small ways like "Hey, when we are going to buy the crib?" or "Let's start washing the baby clothes" she will think you are the best father-to-be in the world, and she'll love you even more for it! Some of the sweetest times I remember are waking up with my husband's hand on my belly and him telling me what the baby had been doing while I was sleeping. "Honey, I don't know how you slept through all those somersaults. I love feeling the baby move. It helps make everything more real to me."

Even with horrible morning sickness the first few months, I remember pregnancy as a really joyful time, and you can help create that joy. Remember, your attitude as well as hers will set the tone for the next few months.

Good luck!
 

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When my ex wife was pregnant were some of the best times of my marriage.

She was horny all the time and demanded that I take care of that, which I was happy to do.

She would wake me up at 3AM, and again just before I left for work at 6AM. When I got home at 6PM she was ready to go again, usually twice before supper was ready. Then again when everybody had eaten and the kids were outside playing. Then one more time before bed. I'm serious, this was the way things went for at least 6 of those 9 months.

She also had a lot of problems, like premature contractions, etc and I spent a lot of time taking care of her. There was a time when I had to care for her 100%. She could not even walk to the bathroom and I would have to help her with that. I did 100% of the cook and cleaning, in addition to all the working and making a living.

When my daughter was born was probably the highlight of my life.

I held her (my daughter) every possible moment for the first six months at least. If I was there and not working, she was in my arms.

When she got pregnant with our son she wasn't so frisky, but it was still more than normal for us. By then our marriage was falling apart but I still loved her I guess.


I say enjoy this time in your life. There are only so many months in your life that she will be pregnant and it does bring a lot of problems and blessings as well. Learn to deal with her mood swings and temperament changes and you will do fine.
 

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When my ex wife was pregnant were some of the best times of my marriage.

She was horny all the time and demanded that I take care of that, which I was happy to do.

She would wake me up at 3AM, and again just before I left for work at 6AM. When I got home at 6PM she was ready to go again, usually twice before supper was ready. Then again when everybody had eaten and the kids were outside playing. Then one more time before bed. I'm serious, this was the way things went for at least 6 of those 9 months.

She also had a lot of problems, like premature contractions, etc and I spent a lot of time taking care of her. There was a time when I had to care for her 100%. She could not even walk to the bathroom and I would have to help her with that. I did 100% of the cook and cleaning, in addition to all the working and making a living.

When my daughter was born was probably the highlight of my life.

I held her (my daughter) every possible moment for the first six months at least. If I was there and not working, she was in my arms.

When she got pregnant with our son she wasn't so frisky, but it was still more than normal for us. By then our marriage was falling apart but I still loved her I guess.


I say enjoy this time in your life. There are only so many months in your life that she will be pregnant and it does bring a lot of problems and blessings as well. Learn to deal with her mood swings and temperament changes and you will do fine.
I'm so proud of you.....that's an awesome post. :)
 

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Lots of wonderful advice on this thread. Here's my $.02.

*If she sends you to the store at 2 a.m. for ice cream, go ahead and get something salty, something crunchy, and something sour, too. Chances are she'll be craving something different by the time you get home.

**Never, ever, tell her "My mom says you should ____ (fill in the blank.) This is not your mom's baby, and if you don't figure it out real quick, you're gonna be miserable for a long time.

***Respect your sweetie's wishes, especially after the baby is born. Depending on how she feels, she may want the whole family there to share the joy, or she may kill you with a blunt object if you even suggest visitors.

By the way, congrats on your addition to the family!
 

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Yes. Deep down she needs to feel she's still hot to you. You know what you need to do!
Yep. Just be aware- when she says she's in the mood that can change in .02 seconds when a) her bladder is kicked by the little darling b) little darling does a somersault onto her sciatic nerve or c) you go to 'freshen up' and use some (deodorant/body spray/mouthwash) that turns her stomach.
 
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