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ex-liberal :)
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395 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
There is this guy I like. 'John' is cute, kind, funny, everything I want in a guy. He likes me too, or so I thought. I got a text from one of his friends telling me John just likes me a a friend. I was totally crushed and showed him the text message and told him to tell the truth. John told me that he thinks I am one of the best friends he has ever had, but that he just likes me as a friend. He has mentioned being confused about whether or not he loves me. He made me think that he did love me because he didn't want to hurt me. He kept saying he was so sorry and he started crying a little bit. I told him I wold like to be just friends for a while and see where it takes us. He said that was okay and that he just wanted a bit of time.

Before he told me this, he took me to a charity dinner at our school and has taken me ice skating. He did this before, but even after he told me the truth, he has done to me things usually reserved for intimate couples, such as stroking my hair, and has been stroking my cheek and neck while telling me how soft my skin is. He tells me my hair smells good. I slept over at his house and I forgot a hairbrush. He got a comb and we were in the back seat of the car together and he combed my hair for me. Whenever we watch a movie, we sit on the couch with my head against his chest and he has his arm around me.

What is going on? Why is he being so affectionate towards me if he says he only likes me as a friend?

Is it possible that he loves me and just doesn't realize it? Like I said, he told me he was confused.
 

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1,771 Posts
You should really be asking this of your Mother or other adult in your life. Believe it or not, they were young once as well, and went through all of the same trials.
 

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he wants to be friends with benefits, or he is plainly shy about revealing his feelings, or maybe he is a faggle.
 

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Wild Edibles Expert
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10,167 Posts
In life nearly everyone you like more than usual and want to be in love with will not be the one you end up in love with. You will meet scores of young men, maybe hundreds and hope or want many of them to be the one, but they will not be the one. That is the painful process of finding the right one, and that's what makes the right one so right.

Enjoy his company but don't think it is more than it is, and don't think less of him if he is not feeling the same way. It just means regardless of how you feel, he is not the one but you have gained a friend. Most of the men you will meet will not be the one. In fact almost none of them will be the right one. Know that and have fun. Love will present itself when it is right. You won't have to fret over it at all. When it's right, it is more than right. When it is right there is no doubt.
 

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Wilderness Survivor
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109 Posts
Shadow.. why not take this over to the girlvivalist section.... Really, this shouldn't even be on public view but the girlvivalist section might get you the answer that you seek. I have always told my daughter (she is now 23) to not pay any attention to what a guy says, but pay attention to what he does. Then you will know the course of action that you must take.
 

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Super Moderator
Psalm 34:4
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23,556 Posts
I will tell you the same thing I told my daughter when she was around 14 - 15 years old...until a guy turns 23 years old and sometimes even older, they have no clue what real love is. They may think they love someone, but it is not the kind of love that will last. Do yourself a favor, don't get to involved with anyone until your out of college and have a decent job. I'm not saying don't hang out with friends or don't date anybody, just don't expect to find real love because you are growing at a different rate than the guys and they won't catch up to being able to share real love for a long time.

When I told my daughter that she asked how would I know, and the simple answer was, I'm a guy. I told a bunch of girls I loved them when I was younger. When I got out of college, I went to work for the company I work for now, I meet a girl and she is the love of my life. We've been together for 10 years now and I can't imagine my life without her.


and for those sitting there doing the math... my daughter is actually my step daughter, she was 11 when I met her Mom, and I love her like she was my own. I don't think of her as "step" anything.
 

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503 Posts
Just be friends

jfountain2 Is correct. You have a whole long life ahead of you don’t get to serious about any one until you have lived a little and have found who you really are.
 

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PPG flyer
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This has gotta be a joke.
 
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