What do you plan on cooking? We have a few cooking kits that go unused. The most common (for our family of four) is a large aluminum pot (Open County 4 quart boiler) and a small frying pan. The kids carry their own cup and bowl (use to be a plastic bowl, but they now have MSR steel "mountain" bowls). Most of our meals are either freeze dried or my wife will bring along some pre-packed stuff (Tex-Mex burritos, omelets in a freezer Ziploc, pasta noodles or stuff to make small backcountry pizzas). She can do the majority in the one large pot and small frying pan; we add a large serving/stirring spoon and small spatula. The kids just use their single bowl, Spork and cup for tea or hot cocoa or favorite flavored drink mix. We've just found several small bowls that we don't use are wasted space and weight.
If going solo, it can be just as simple; a decent small pot, as simple as a small coffee can or as trendy as a titanium mug, that'll hold close to a quart of water. If you have some meals planned, possibly a small frying pan...which I prefer when I'm fishing and want to fry them up. Add a small cup and Spork and you have enough of a kit to do 99% of your backcountry cooking. Unless you're planning gourmet meals where you'll need to mix several different items at the same time, you don't really need a full mess kit. One nice pot by MSR is their Stowaway pots...they have them in a few different sizes (one that is just over a liter). The nifty thing is that you can securely store food inside for packing and the lid can double as a plate.
Now, one thing to keep in mind is if you plan to just cook over a stove or actually use the coals or place your cookware over a fire. Some of the cook sets are pretty much just geared towards stove use (small plastic coated handles and such); if you plan to cook on coals or over an open flame, make sure they have good handles (or used the pot-gripper tool) and a good bail...excellent for suspending over a fire if you don't have a grill. Extra pots just means unused weight...decide on what meals you plan for your backcountry adventures and then try them out in the kitchen...you really don't need too much in the way of cooking pots and pans.
ROCK6