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Ask the police to do a wellness check and let them know something fishy is going on.
@Sarkus and @Jlrhiner might have a good idea. With the sound of the family, I would not put it passed them to hold onto the parents for a little while after death if it mean another SS check to be cashed. The sisters have a pretty good case to have the police stop by. I mean hiding where your parents are at might fly if the sisters had some kind of past issues like domestic abuse. Otherwise, I do not think it would be looked upon very kindly.
 

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Most states (if not all) require a "Notice to Creditors" be posted in the local paper to notify any creditors of the passing of a person and where they can submit a claim if they are owed money/ You might check the local classified section of the local paper to see if one has been posted/printed
 

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Crazy Cat Lady
Plan to Alamo at home.
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I'm on the other side of the equation.

My in laws always treated me like crap and constantly disrespected my marriage, to the point my BIL accused my husband of being "whipped" because Ron refused to attend a bachelor party with strippers/prostitutes. After the accident they plotted to put him in a nursing home, I foiled that and brought him home to live with me. They disowned us.

I found out his parents had died on Facebook because a cousin had friended me. My husband called them frequently begging to talk and they refused to take his calls.

When he died I did not notify them. They didn't give a **** and it wasn't their business, they had written him off a long time ago. They found out through the cousin. Then had the balls to ask me for a death certificate because his mother had taken out a life insurance policy and made his sister the beneficiary. There was more I will not detail, mainly their refusal to give me his baby pictures even though they kept promising. I cut them off.

They were Catholic and it is forbidden to cremate, I did because we had talked about it and that's what he wanted. He was also a born again Christian and not a Catholic anymore. I had a private service in a state park on the beach.

They didn't deserve him and they didn't deserve to hear anything about how he died. I am not sorry. I do wonder if I should tell them about the Alzheimer's but figure they probably have it already it they inherited the gene. They were both older than him.
 

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Old military buddy quit responding to emails.
This led me to the same kind of question, as he lives half a continent away.
[ We already have an answer. He's not dead. ]
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
I'd stay the hell out of it.
I have no plans to get too close, at least no any closer than I am already. It's my brother's wife and her youngest sister who are going through this. They're good people, which is why it kinda yanks my chain just a little. If they were real butt holes, I wouldn't care.

I was mainly just looking for a place I could find info where I could perhaps point one of the sisters to, let them see for themselves, a public records kind of thing. Probably not gonna be that simple. Then again, they're both pretty resourceful on their own and probably have been down this road already.

Anyway, thank you all for the input. I have a few rabbit trails to explore. Much appreciated!
 

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Golfer
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Seems like they can get in an phone and email conversation with admin at the hospital and get them to enter their names and contact info into the patient's record as kin to be notified. Maybe send a letter to be included in the parent's records, especially a letter written by a lawyer. Assurance from the hospital that they will be notified will put them at ease.
The POA ends when the parent dies so there is no way the POA holder should be able to stop the hospital from informing the daughter. At least I think not.
 

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I Seen A Sighting!
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Seems like they can get in an phone and email conversation with admin at the hospital and get them to enter their names and contact info into the patient's record as kin to be notified. Maybe send a letter to be included in the parent's records, especially a letter written by a lawyer. Assurance from the hospital that they will be notified will put them at ease.
The POA ends when the parent dies so there is no way the POA holder should be able to stop the hospital from informing the daughter. At least I think not.
I think this is going to be the sister's best option. But first they have to find out where the parents are, in order for them to tell the nursing home that they want notified. That's a problem, correct?

Try to determine where exactly they are, and then go from there with the POA ending when the patient dies angle.

Also, most good nursing homes have ombudsmen who are non biased advocates for the patients. If they can find out where the parents are, maybe they can arrange a private meeting with the ombudsman/advocate to see what, if anything, can be done. If anyone has the legal answers, it would be the advocate.

If nothing else, if there is anything to be probated after death, the sisters WILL have to be notified despite what the other family members want. Lawyers don't give a rat's ass if the rest of the family cut off the two sisters. Not their problem. They're going to notify who they are required by law to notify.
 

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I don't think they publish an obituary if the family has requested that there be none. (?)

I know of one other person who died a year or so ago that I never could find anything about, no obit, nothing but a few posts on her FB page that said she was gone. She also had family issues but I was surprised by that one.
not sure about the rules over there, but by law you are enforced to do so over here, old law before the digital age, but there was a reason for it (forgot what reason) but debt collectors, insurance yada yada all used it back then.
 
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Social Security Death Index, but I am unsure how timely it is.

Most, if not all estates must be disposed via the courts, and filed judicial proceedings are a matter of public record. One could do such that way, but finding the correct court might be of issue.
 

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Discussion Starter · #35 ·
Update:

Received word that they've both passed. Not much information otherwise. Not sure when. But word is that they're no longer with us.

So... any chance to say goodbye to a living person is now gone. We'll see whether any of the family will reconcile. I've heard that there have been just one or two that are at least trying though some likely never will.

Kinda too late for anything all that useful to be gained by knowing details. They're gone. The two sisters aren't interested in "stuff", whatever there might be and unless contacted by a lawyer regarding the estate, they'll probably not be involved at all. Perhaps when the dust settles, they'll get a check for $11.75.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions and comments.

I'm trying not to say ugly things... the dad, well, he was abused and took a lot of crap for years. His death would have been a relief. As for the mom... I have little to say other than the phrase that keeps running through my head starts with "ding dong...", I'm not gonna say it. But I know I'm far from the only one who thought it. One of the daughters who has blocked any contact is a chip off the ol' block. Come judgement day, I wouldn't wanna be either of 'em.
 
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Does anyone remember what occurred with Casey Kasum? While not dead on, it is similar to the OP's story.

Back in 2015, I contacted my state Delegate about such occurrences. In response, she introduced a bill that became law the next year.



If your state doesn't have such legislation, I encourage everyone to contact their elected officials about such. if you don't know if you state has such, go to the following link:

 

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If someone has died a funeral home was involved and most of them have websites with notices or short obituaries on them. It is possible that they could honor a request not to list the deceased though.
A lot of people don't do obits these days, especially if you live in any of the crime-ridden Democrat ****holes, like Chicago. If an obit shows the date and place for the funeral service, that's like placing a sign in front of the deceased person's or close relative's home that says, "Hey, I'm not here. Rob Me!" It's not hard to figure out where most people lived using the info in an obit. That's easy to do these days because of all the trashy sites that collect and sell personal info.

There are groups of thieves who specialize in these types of break-ins. I know several people who did not do obits when someone in their family passed away.
 

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I was thinking that there was something that HAD to be published somewhere, kind of a notice to people who the deceased may owe money. (?) I sorta remember that for my dad a couple of years ago but didn't pay much attention at the time. I kinda think that happened within a week or so of his passing. I guess that's why I was thinking there might be some kind of "back door" to at least find out that someone died.

It is a shame things have to be like this. As it is, two sisters are grieving not knowing if their parents are dead or alive and being denied even saying goodbye.

It's good God didn't give me power to call fire down from heaven... I'd be very tempted...
I think you are refer my to probating a will… that’s a different process- this couple may not be leaving an estate. Kind of unlikely both parents ended in hospice care at the same time.
 
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