[The Burbanite]

I know a lot of you are very level headed in here, so I'll have to turn to you for some sound advice.

I recently got my old job back as a substitute teacher at a local school for 1 to 9th graders. I live in a relatively small city of around 10K people and I'm not married, and live alone in my house.

Well aware of the fact that people like me (single males, not very young) could very easily get a bad rumor from an angry child or a parent that just doesn't like me, I have declined doing sports/locker-room service.

Today the office of the school got totally mad at me for declining to watch the locker room alone with some 4th graders, because there is a kid that needs special attention in there. I told the office woman that I do not want to do this as I'm not married, don't have kids and I live alone. She got furious and told me to do my job etc. A little later, she told me that I won't get any phonecalls in the future, so I might as well just head on home. She even bazooned out for the office coworkers that I'm no man - because a man would just suck it up and deal with it, the office workers got silenced, but didn't look as if they agreed with her, but rather felt sorry for me for hanging me out to dry like this.

I took it very calmly, and said that I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have to insist on this one, and I don't really feel you should kick me out just for not taking my chances on such a sensitive issue. Sensitive WHAT?! She asked, and then I went home.

Funnily enough - her office co-worker called me 30 minutes later, and assigned me to do some sub. work after all.

I feel very sad because of this treatment, jobs are scarce in this small city so it's not easy just to leave, but what do you think? Did I do the right thing?

 

[willow]

Teachers can get it trouble when they are alone with ONE kid - not a room full of kids. Still, I see your point.

 

[comdot]

I'm not a teacher, but have worked as a sunday school teacher and classroom assistant. In all cases, there were strict rules for supervising kids and was never asked to watch kids alone (much less in a locker room) without another approved adult present. Any school or organization who requires this is opening themselves for a big lawsuit.

 

[Mogli]

I'm not a teacher, but have worked as a sunday school teacher and classroom assistant. In all cases, there were strict rules for supervising kids and was never asked to watch kids alone (much less in a locker room) without another approved adult present. Any school or organization who requires this is opening themselves for a big lawsuit.

I agree with comdat. I would not be alone with anyone's kids and I'm a woman! Great way to get your life ruined...... forever!

 

[ATST]

I think it was wrong for her to press the issue.
Although from her point of view if you have a teaching job, you should like children, and know that occasionally being alone in a locker room may happen. Obviously, she is 'down one' teacher, so you were called. It was probably that teachers duty and she did not expect the sub to refuse to do it. Now, she has to find a substitute for the job the substitute won't do. So she's upset.
Of course the more you push the issue, the more people may talk, and soon the speculation will lead to exactly what you feared in the first place.
Consider that if you are alone with children in a room, no matter which room that is, as long as you remain in full view to all, you should be ok from rumours.
Or better yet, tell her you think 2 adults should be present, and you don't mind being one of them.

 

[ManyFeathers]

I don't know how they do it in Sweden but....

If she is your superior, refusing to do it can be insubordination. You can be orally warned, written up or terminated for this depending.

Don't refuse to do the task but have a witness and voice your opinion about your apprehensions. Then if something happens hopefully you'll be in the clear.

If she's not your superior, tell her no.

Document, document, document!

 

[5.56 NATO]

Like someone said it's not the room full of kids I'd worry about, it's the 1 on 1 encounters that can cause issues. I'd either insist on a second teacher or student in those cases, or get one of those lapel cameras some cops use.

 

[hawk55732]

I don't know how they do it in Sweden but....

If she is your superior, refusing to do it can be insubordination. You can be orally warned, written up or terminated for this depending.

Don't refuse to do the task but have a witness and voice your opinion about your apprehensions. Then if something happens hopefully you'll be in the clear.

If she's not your superior, tell her no.

Document, document, document!

If you are told to do something that could get you into trouble with the law, you have ever right and even responsibility to refuse to do it.

Even in the military it is expected of you to refuse to do illegal orders.

 

[Bobcat59]

I think it was wrong for her to press the issue.
Although from her point of view if you have a teaching job, you should like children, and know that occasionally being alone in a locker room may happen. Obviously, she is 'down one' teacher, so you were called. It was probably that teachers duty and she did not expect the sub to refuse to do it. Now, she has to find a substitute for the job the substitute won't do. So she's upset.
Of course the more you push the issue, the more people may talk, and soon the speculation will be lead to exactly what you feared in the first place.
Consider that if you are alone with children in a room, no matter which room that is, as long as you remain in full view to all, you should be ok from rumours.
Or better yet, tell her you think 2 adults should be present, and you don't mind being one of them.

Ding - Ding- Ding! We have a winner! I agree this would be the best solution. You might even suggest it to her superior, and mention that in today's climate doing this would be the best policy to protect the school as well as the teachers and the kids.

 

[KCFirepower]

CYA is a good policy, and I endorse it. You did the right thing.
I would try to sub elsewhere if I were you. I refuse to work in abusive climates anymore. Life is too short.

 

[LibShooter]

You should make it clear up front what you will and won't do so the administration can decide whether you can meet their needs. I'm sure you signed some kind of contract broadly outlining your duties. I'm doubt it specified monitoring the locker room but it probably said something that translates to "whatever we need you to do."

Now they know you don't want locker room duty, but you should still mention it the next tine they call. Somebody has to do it and if you won't they may have to find someone who will.

Since when do 4th Graders use a locker room?

 

[Nomad 2nd]

Jobs come and jobs go.

Sex offender status is forever.

 

[grandma]

I do work in a school and won't be alone with one student, and sometimes won't be alone with more than one student. Are you in a union? The Teachers' Union, and the Educational Assistants' Unions, have laid out guidelines as to what/where staff can be in such a situation.

As previously mentioned, have a witness and CYA...always. Ask for your assignment in writing, if you can.

 

[InfScout]

I agree with a lot of the answers already posted. Teach a class of students alone is one thing. Don't get into situations when it's anything else- locker room screams of a complaint regardless of the special needs aspects of a student involved.

I often thought subbing might be a good retirement gig. Heck, I could make some extra money. Then I remember my time doing it when I was working on my degree in education. I then remember the parents and kids I dealt with. I rethink that avenue of retirement income is a viable source of money constantly. I doubt I'd do it. Maybe I'd take a job as an adjunct professor at a community college but I don't think I'd go near a K-thru-12 grade school ever again. Then again, I have investigated more than a few charges lodged against college professors. Some have been substantiated. Most were not, but it was sure uncomfortable for the professor and probably caused problems in his/her personal and professional life. So it's not even really safe at that level of education.

Not much different than being a police officer or any other occupation that serves the public. We are all targets for complaints- true or false. You do your job and hope it doesn't happen to you.

 

[Absolutely!]

i do not get this. what is a locker room? Is it the changing rooms, or a room where everyone's locker is?

If it's a changing rooms, I take it it's the boy's changing rooms?

And you've got a whole class of kids in there?

And one of them is special needs? And he can't pull his own daks up and you won't do it for him in full view of a whole room full of kids?

I'd probably think you were a bit of a ****, and that your paranoia will kill you.

 

[Nomad 2nd]

i do not get this. what is a locker room? Is it the changing rooms, or a room where everyone's locker is?

If it's a changing rooms, I take it it's the boy's changing rooms?

And you've got a whole class of kids in there?

And one of them is special needs? And he can't pull his own daks up and you won't do it for him in full view of a whole room full of kids?

I'd probably think you were a bit of a ****, and that your paranoia will kill you.

Sadly, some of the current events are such that a rational individual has no option but to take extraordinary measures to avoid them.

 

[The Burbanite]

I'd probably think you were a bit of a ****, and that your paranoia will kill you.

Actually, I don't like paranoia, but someone once said: Paranoia is to know the truth.

And, it saved me once. One time I lived together with a Ham-Radio enthusiast (kind of like myself), his wife had just left him and I guess he just didn't want to be alone in that big house and wanted to help out a fellow Radio Amateur.

Turns out he's a bit of a weirdo, he always talked and bragged of how honest he was, and that he always lives a straight and clean life. Wonderful (I thought), but why would you need to tell me? I'd probably find out over time anyway.

Anyway - I lived there for 3 years, renting a few rooms. I kept an "open door" policy as I really have nothing to hide. But my clothes sometimes smelled funny, and stuff kept disappearing from my drawers and lockers.

3 years later I had to find out, so I purchased an IP camera (this is a network camera that sends emails with videos of what it sees when it detects some motion). A lot of that motion was due to light changes in the room...but I found some rather big files (just ONE day after I bought the camera), and sure enough...there he was...rummaging trough my stuff, he was even looking out the window...bowing his head and ducking in case I came home early, in true cartoon Tom and Jerry style, hilarious maybe...but not to me, it confirmed what I hoped wasn't even true.

Busted! A few weeks later I was outta there, moved into a new apartment. Showing the evidence of this horrible person to the building society, gave me an apartment in RECORD time as they where appalled.

 

[The Burbanite]

tell her you think 2 adults should be present, and you don't mind being one of them.

Bingo indeed! This is exactly what me and one of my friends discussed yesterday (yes, I had to vent), and he said the same thing as you.

In fact, if this ever comes up for discussion again (if I even get to work at that school again), I'll be mentioning that little tidbit, it's also very true - I don't have ANY qualms with that at all, I thing we're all natural creatures of this planet and no one have anything I haven't seen before anyway : but I'm NOT taking any chances alone, I know what happens to people, especially in Scandinavia...we're a feminist society and hysteria reigns high here. People see anyone deviant as a serious potential threat.

 

[The Burbanite]

Since when do 4th Graders use a locker room?

I didn't know how to use the proper term at that time, but it should be "Changing Room/Dressing Room". These have mandatory shower facilities.

And imagine if you have to STOP a student from attacking the other, not a fun thing to do if the students are in the nude. :xeye:

See how things could possibly go very bad - really fast - especially as we're talking a special needs kid amongst OTHER kids?

 

[Radio]

Paranoia and all these "activist" groups has gotten way out of hand these days. Refusing to do your job is a sure fire way to be shown the door. All these "what ifs" are brought on by the media painting such a horrible picture of the human species. Hollywood drama has no business in the workplace unless you work in Hollywood. If things such as this concern you, then perhaps a profession working with minors is not a job for you.

What if the world ended?

What if a plane crashed into your house?

What if you sneezed and crapped your pants?

Know what I mean?


Think about it. . .It's like a business owner who would refuse to interview people for a job simply because they'll be alone in an office with that person. And heaven forbid you should shut the door!

Don't let the media get to you. Don't worry about what could happen. Worry about the things you can control. . .You. . .Do your job.