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Old 08-25-2018, 10:44 AM
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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Bread was the best thing before sliced bread.
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Old 08-25-2018, 10:51 AM
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If Mississippi bought Missouri a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho ,, Alaska
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Old 08-25-2018, 03:53 PM
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For those who know the references in this:

Stigfoot.

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Old 08-26-2018, 09:18 AM
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Two people can be born at the exact same moment on Earth, and still have different birthdays.
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Old 08-26-2018, 10:43 AM
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^^^ Whoooaaa, mind blown, dude...
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Old 08-26-2018, 11:00 AM
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Old 08-26-2018, 12:36 PM
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Old 08-26-2018, 06:29 PM
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Old 08-27-2018, 10:23 AM
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Imagine being deaf and finding out that farting actually makes a noise.
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Old 08-27-2018, 06:44 PM
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After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?’ To which he responded: ‘I found the remote.’…
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:57 AM
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Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more
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Old 08-28-2018, 08:01 AM
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Old 08-28-2018, 11:34 AM
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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
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Old 08-28-2018, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian Treloar View Post
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.


Thank goodness it wasn't McCain's doctor.
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Old 08-29-2018, 11:30 AM
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The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!"
"I AM 60!"
"See, what did I tell you?"
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Old 08-30-2018, 01:32 AM
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"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears."
"Don't answer!"
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Old 08-30-2018, 05:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian Treloar View Post
Imagine being deaf and finding out that farting actually makes a noise.
um... this would be me. I'm a bit hard of hearing and I'm also a little embarrassed to admit this, but what the heck...I can laugh about it now.

I was almost 30 years old before I learned that "silent" farts are NOT really silent.

My young daughter laughed and laughed at me in the grocery store after I tried to act all innocent-like when she accused me of it...

Now I'm much more careful, lol.
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Old 08-30-2018, 08:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrizzlyetteAdams View Post
um... this would be me. I'm a bit hard of hearing and I'm also a little embarrassed to admit this, but what the heck...I can laugh about it now.

I was almost 30 years old before I learned that "silent" farts are NOT really silent.

My young daughter laughed and laughed at me in the grocery store after I tried to act all innocent-like when she accused me of it...

Now I'm much more careful, lol.
hehe I love that you can laugh about it :D
Ps: I’ve had a ton of geriatric patients slowly making their way down a hall...dunno how to phrase this really, but I’ll leave it at..tooting periodically.

Depending on the patient it was either bc dementia of some sort so no inhibitions OR they had no idea it wasn’t as discreet as they thought due to hearing loss.

I learned to scoot over to the other side of the hall (sometimes fast!), but in my book ya get a pass for that sort of reason
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:21 AM
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or 1979, or 1969, or...

(there supposed to be a picture there...)
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Old 08-30-2018, 08:25 PM
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