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Old 03-27-2013, 12:51 PM
Chrysalis Chrysalis is offline
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Originally Posted by thefemalesurvivalist View Post
The Gift of Fear should be required reading for all women. One especially memorable idea is that we are the only species that tries to reason away our instincts. Your instincts are saying...this man makes me very uncomfortable, it doesnt feel right, I am afraid,

and you don't even need to care what others think about it, its your gut reaction

we had a young hiker abducted and subsequently killed because she dismissed a lonely old man...Gary Hilton

a google search gives you a whole list of reports on this horrific man who killed others as well,
http://www.sickcrimes.us/tag/blood-mountain

it nearly stopped the women's hiking community from continuing their solo adventures

we just tend to be too nice, I'm a solo hiker, and beware! I stand back from vehicles and men that are way too friendly under inappropriate circumstances
One of my dearest friends is married to a police officer. They live in a town about 30 miles from me. I'm going to find out the man's first name and see if there's anything criminal in his past.
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:55 PM
Mominator Mominator is offline
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I hate to say it girls but good manners get us in more trouble than anything else. We were all to one extent or another raised to be polite until given reason to be otherwise the thing is once someone gives you a reason to react it may be too late. I do try to be polite and as ladylike as my (occasionally trashy) disposition allows me to be BUT the truth is good manners can be a very dangerous thing.
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Old 03-27-2013, 07:09 PM
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Default Trust your gut.

If you aren't feeling comfortable, don't try to reason it away. Instead, make a point of learning as much as you can about him.

By the way, if he owns his home you don't need to ask him for his name. His name will be on the county property tax records, which are open to the public. If they aren't online in your county (probably are, though), you can easily look him up at your county courthouse.

Paula's right -- we women are trained to be too polite. There's nothing wrong with just keeping walking, not talking, not even saying, "No time to talk." If you keep walking past him and don't stop, he'll eventually get the message.

And if he doesn't get the message -- if he literally stands in your way -- then you have a right to look really annoyed and go around him as you proceed on your way.

Open carry is also a good idea if it is allowed in your county. And maybe even if it isn't allowed -- because you live in a rural area where it's highly unlikely the sheriff will be harassing people who carry.

My first reaction to this thread was, "Geez Louise, he's just a neighbor!" -- but after reading all the other posts here, I've changed my mind. Really -- trust your gut. If you aren't happy to see a friendly neighbor, there's a reason why -- and you probably don't need to know the exact reason in order to trust your feelings and be cautious.

-- Paravani
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsymoonfarm View Post
I was in a hurry when I was typing my earlier posts. I have a weird one to add.

I took most of the winter off due to my unease. I started walking again and the third time I was out he stopped me. This was last week. He asked me if I would be interested in cutting his hair! I own a dog grooming salon so I told him no, I could lose my business if I cut someone's hair. He replied that he heard I did and I said no, only for my family. I directed him to a neighbor who does hair for a living.
This was not up when I answered you earlier today. Sigh.

Hhmmm.

I did not know that you took the winter OFF due to your unease and concerns.



Geez Louise, if you had those STRONG INSTINCTS, gut instincts, etc. as I posted above on top... so strong that it MADE YOU STOP YOUR WALKING not due to some health reason... TRUST YOUR GUT!

Look him up and ask someone (LE) to check him out just to see if he has a record.

He asked you to CUT HIS HAIR? Hhhmmm.

Check him out.

Do NOT act friendly even though most of us were taught to be friendly and polite to a DEGREE.

TELL HIM POINT BLANK that you do Not want him to chat with you from now on, tell him to Not stop you on the road or pull close to you with HIS car, etc. because it MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, you do NOT do this with strangers, and you want him to Cease/Desist talking to you and stopping by you when you do your power walk.

As I said, open carry if you can and carry some other tool with you even if you continue to conceal or open carry.

Maybe he took your friendliness 'wrong' and maybe he IS or is not a weirdo but just a 'person who talks a lot' to people.

IF YOU FELT THESE THINGS that it made you STOP WALKING - I would have just told him from the gitgo that I had NO time to chat, don't block your way with his car and do not bother you way, way back when.

Trust your gut and that little inner voice.

I have a STRONG SIXTH SENSE, vibes, gut instinct, little inner voice, guardian angel, etc. and I have had that since I was a KID. My gut instinct has proven to be a blessing to me since it has helped me throughout my life. It has proven to be RIGHT about people 95% of the time too. My late husband, others and my husband told me that I had a 'good one'.

***** I had my husband READ THIS THREAD because I wanted his opinion.

He said that the man knows a lot about you, you do not know much about HIM and that you should check him out. NO charge or allegation but check him out.

My husband told me that even if he has to go by your house TO TOWN and so forth... stopping you that often is 'over the top' especially since you are not best friends or know him well.

My husband said that since you had this FEELING about him that you should trust it as I and others have said.

My husband said that he thought that he could be 'stalking you' and to check him out.

You should have said something to him from the gitgo and you should SAY something now if you see him again.

On top of that, I would NOT, not and not walk in the woods by crop rows when crops grow high. You should be OUT IN THE OPEN WITH A CLEAR DISTANCE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD and space around you for safety reasons. You should be able to SEE what is around you from all sides as well as you can according to your county's terrain and be able to RUN if needed, in MY opinion, or have a SAFE SPACE around your body even if you are ARMED. Carry another tool with you too.

So I agree with the other poster about people hiding and lurking where they can jump out and grab you.

Walk with a DOG on a leash if you own a dog.

I have heard weird stories on the news that turned out to be true CRIME STORIES later on. I had a GUT instinct about a few people which turned out to be TRUE too. Where I used to live back in farm/lake country, out here - way UP in the Sapphire Mountains living remote - camp and cabin time and here in town. I had them when traveling alone and/or with my late husband, alone with my late German Shepherd dog - home or travels, and with my MT husband. He has a sense about these things as my late husband did but mine is much stronger than his 'sometimes'.

Watch your 'six' - no pun intended.

Please keep us updated.

Catherine
Armed and Female
Western Montana
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:00 PM
Mominator Mominator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paravani View Post
If you aren't feeling comfortable, don't try to reason it away. Instead, make a point of learning as much as you can about him.

By the way, if he owns his home you don't need to ask him for his name. His name will be on the county property tax records, which are open to the public. If they aren't online in your county (probably are, though), you can easily look him up at your county courthouse.

Paula's right -- we women are trained to be too polite. There's nothing wrong with just keeping walking, not talking, not even saying, "No time to talk." If you keep walking past him and don't stop, he'll eventually get the message.

And if he doesn't get the message -- if he literally stands in your way -- then you have a right to look really annoyed and go around him as you proceed on your way.

Open carry is also a good idea if it is allowed in your county. And maybe even if it isn't allowed -- because you live in a rural area where it's highly unlikely the sheriff will be harassing people who carry.

My first reaction to this thread was, "Geez Louise, he's just a neighbor!" -- but after reading all the other posts here, I've changed my mind. Really -- trust your gut. If you aren't happy to see a friendly neighbor, there's a reason why -- and you probably don't need to know the exact reason in order to trust your feelings and be cautious.

-- Paravani
The part I put in bold is our worst enemy in these situations. God willing none of us ever again have to find out WHY a man creeps us out. If we know why generally it means we gave him the benefit of the doubt too long and something happened. This is especially true of those of us raised to be religious because we are often taught to not judge others. I think that is often why it seems the worst things seem to happen to the nicest people... we feel we must have a reason to judge or be "rude"
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:15 PM
Catherine_MT Catherine_MT is offline
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^^^

Yup!

This Yankee lady agrees with the Southern Lady.

(I was raised that way too. I think that my late Mommy was related to Emily Post - we were raised to be lady like - white gloves and all. Throw in the RC, Lutheran and a bit of GO religious background. The Golden Rule and not judging people. Throw in the OLD SCHOOL manners and family background.)

There is a time and place for everything! My parents and mentors taught us about some things 'safety wise' even in the 1950's and on.

Cate who is 62 years old.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:41 PM
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Trust your instincts. If you report him to the police now, when he hasn't done anything illegal, they won't be able to do much anyway. Have a male friend walk with you if you can. Keep carrying your gun.

It is possible that he is just attracted to you, but too shy to say anything. Sometimes men are like that. But if you feel fear because of him, then it is best to avoid him. We get that feeling for a reason. If you have a male friend with you regularly, and it's the same male friend, maybe this guy will think you are "taken" and leave you alone.

If you know the man's name and it isn't something extremely common like John Smith, you could try Googling him.

If you cannot get a male friend to accompany you, please consider getting a dog if you're not allergic. A big one.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:56 PM
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he probably just wants to bang you, or he is just lonely old man.

i seem to always get old people talking to me when im walking, gets annoying when im in the zone trying to keep my heart rate up and people want to stop and talk about the weather.
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Old 03-27-2013, 10:16 PM
Hermit Jax Hermit Jax is offline
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Better a little rude or curt than a lot injured. Trust your gut.

Carrying open is good. I'd also invest in a nice, stout hiking stick. A friend gifted me with one made out of a 1-1/4" wide oak pole topped with a trailer hitch ball. An airhorn is also good

Googling someone is good but you can also do a background check for $5-$50 depending on how detailed you want it.

Stay safe.
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Old 03-27-2013, 10:31 PM
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Default Quoting the man before the ban... ;-D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Browning 35 View Post
As others have already said, listen to your gut. If something tells you there's something up with the guy then your gut is probably right. I'd listen to it.

From what I've ready most male-on-female stalkers are attracted to a certain type of female. Open, friendly, not streetwise and someone who is uncomfortable with any kind of direct confrontation (meaning 'nice' and maybe a little too polite sometimes for their own good).

Does this sound like you? The last part of it is supposedly because the women that are direct and a little more guarded, less friendly and who prefer direct confrontation would have told this guy to buzz off already.

It doesn't sound like he's just being friendly or he'd say 'Hi' when you're with others. It wouldn't matter.

To me it sounds like he's giving you a 'Victim Interview'. It's where predatory types scope out potential victims and see how much of a fight it would be and toy with the idea.

The way to fail a victim interview is to start being less and less friendly gradually over time, quit being so nice, have people with you and if he does spot you while you're alone to talk project a little force into your conversation and casually work the fact that there's someone waiting for you and that they know where you are into the conversation. Being on your cell can also strengthen this, criminals and predators hate cell phones. Instant communication with the police and potential help, they can also take audio, video, pics and some have your GPS location on it.

If you were my wife, my sister or some other important female in my life I really urge you to go talk to the police about the guy just to be sure about him (might have a previous criminal record) and just so that there's a record of it somewhere official that your antennae is up about the guy and that he's making unwanted contact. That way if something does happen there's a record of it somewhere.

I'm seriously not trying to alarm you, but think about it....you've had such a bad feeling about it that you've talked to your husband, kids, F-I-L and M-I-L and talked about it on a forum asking what you should do and you have such a bad feeling about it that you've considered changing your route and you're arming yourself. I'd vote that the guy's up to no good.

Avoid contact with him, give him the cold shoulder increasingly over time (you don't want to become and 'Ice Princess' overnight), change your route, keep people with you, if you have to be alone make sure that they know where you are and when you'll be home, keep carrying that gun and practice with it more and at least unofficially contact the police.

Hope this helps and good luck.
Thanks, Browning, for the good advice. Now please skedaddle the Ladies Section!

(And Gypsy? Don't worry about becoming an "Ice Princess" overnight. Really. Stay the heck away from that stalker, and never mind what he thinks about it!)

-- Paravani
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Old 03-27-2013, 11:04 PM
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RR, you really need to read everything that was said here. The only thing that really matters is that she feels uncomfortable and is on alert. Did you not read that he approaches her when she is alone, and not when she is with others? Where does it say that anyone wants the man beaten with anything? It is comments like this that cause people to second guess their instincts. Gypsymoon, do not second guess yourself. You are feeling wary for a reason. Whether he is lonely or not does not give him permission to approach you when he sees that you are alone and that you are hiking with a purpose. If he is just a "friendly" guy, he would be friendly to your whole family. The fact that he is 60 doesn't make him any less of a threat.
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Old 03-27-2013, 11:39 PM
Hermit Jax Hermit Jax is offline
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RR - what folks are talking about here is going with your instincts, letting folks know your concerns, obtaining reasonable information about a potential threat to your sense of personal safety, having a visible deterrent, and having a weapon on hand just in case.

Gypsymoon- trust your instincts and do what you need to do to feel safe in your own neighborhood.
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Old 03-27-2013, 11:40 PM
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Everything you've said makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

Maybe he is a great guy with the absolute best of intentions. I don’t care. The ring leader of the men who raped me was described by his neighbors as a "kind, friendly, family man". This man makes you uncomfortable, worried, fearful enough to post here about it. Trust your instincts.

While I don't believe you have anything to actually report to the police, I think you need to listen to your gut and be extremely careful.

Carry a weapon(pistol), carry a tazer as well. When you near his area, you make sure your hands are on your weapons and you move to the other side of the road. Shifting to the other side of the road creates a larger area between the two of you and others will see that you purposely avoided him. When he attempts to stop you to talk, you keep moving and call out, "sorry, I can't stop, you have a nice day" and you keep moving. Don't even wave, you keep your hands on your weapons. You're not out to win "Miss Friendly", you’re out for a walk and you wish to avoid interaction with him and to make sure you get home safely. Just because someone wishes to talk to you doesn’t mean you have to stop and talk. (can you tell I’m the mom to many daughters? LOL)

Some may say I’m over protective of my daughters but I never EVER wish them to have to overcome what I did. I don’t want you to either. Please be safe.
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Old 03-28-2013, 01:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paravani View Post

My first reaction to this thread was, "Geez Louise, he's just a neighbor!" -- but after reading all the other posts here, I've changed my mind. Really -- trust your gut. If you aren't happy to see a friendly neighbor, there's a reason why -- and you probably don't need to know the exact reason in order to trust your feelings and be cautious.

-- Paravani
Exactly what I was thinking as well.
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Old 03-28-2013, 01:33 AM
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Definitely get his name off property records.

Definitely have your cop friend do a background check.

Ask the local sheriff about him, as you think it's odd that he stops you so many times. You think he's married, so find out for sure from the sheriff.

Sometimes these odd characters get braver as they get older.

Do you have a dog that can act as an alarm when someone comes onto your property? I used to have a small terrier that could hear the back door quietly open, when she was upstairs in a front bedroom! Twice she alerted me to my neighbor quietly opening my back door when we were upstairs having a nap. I don't know who trained the dog, but she was quiet with her 'alert' and when necessary would bite without warning. Best dog I ever had. Bit my nosey neighbor right on the nose without warning.... lol
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Old 03-28-2013, 03:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsymoonfarm View Post
I have a question about a man who stops me on my country hikes. I'll supply some background.

For a year or two there has been a local man in his 60's that will randomly stop and engage me in a conversation. The road I hike is rural, I walk for an hour between my house and MIL's. There aren't houses between the neighbor's (a cousin) and my in-laws. So I hike hard for exercise and I am alone for that hour. This man has stopped me between 10 and 20 times. He wants to chat and has even brought up my children. I don't know his first name so there is no reason he should be bringing up my children.

He goes by my house several times most days. I thought he quit but turns out he got a different vehicle. He might be going to town for beer/coffee/cigs, I don't know. I got my concealed carry permit because of this situation and I am always carrying a loaded gun when I walk. My family is aware of him and have seen him stop me. My in-laws saw him talking to me and they drove from their barn to us and took me with them to do chores because they were worried.

What do you guys think of this situation? I have been negative but then I started thinking objectively about it. I have an orchard in my yard, raised garden beds, a chicken tractor and wells. I've seen a rebel flag in his back window. Maybe he is a prepper and wants to talk to another. I don't plan on giving up my walk. I would just like some opinions on the matter.
Invite him to dinner. That places him socially and places you socially: he sees your husband, he and your husband shake hands, all territory is now clear. Last names are exchanged. Social links forged. This is better protection than any gun.

If he's a decent sort all will improve. If he's a creep he has been shown your 'guard dog,' who now will have his scent.

See if he wants to bring a date for dinner.:P
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:10 AM
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Whether he has a wife or not is irrelevant. A friend from high school lost his girlfriend in 1980 to a maried couple who gave her a ride as she hitchhiked out to see him at college. They kept her for several days of repeated rapes..the wife participated, then killed her and dumped her body.
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:31 AM
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I'm late to the party (another thread) but what everyone ^ has said is good advice. I used to walk my dog around the same time every day......until I thought I was being stalked. So walking a 135# dog isn't a deterrent - for some. I got the guys license plate, etc. The last time I saw him was when I started open carrying.

DH cut a path through our woods that I walk on now. It's better exercise and the path borders neighbors property - far from streets and weirdos.
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:07 AM
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You know... I'd STILL keep myself armed, and your spidey senses up... I get this feeling this cat would show up on your private path (or watch you walking it from afar)... he's aleready stepped over (or smashed through) so many normal social boundaries, I would be trying to find out anything I can on this guy - and tell as many folk as I could about what's been going on. And that he doesn't show up unless you're alone... and he knows all about you and your family and your life... Ewww!!!! This has bad ending written all over it.

Be very careful,, keep them spidey senses up, and if YOU can do so, learn all you can about him, and make sure others know whats going on... because too many of us disappear to Dahmer-like characters who seem so nice and innocent, until they find our bones buried under their house 30 years later.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:01 AM
Chrysalis Chrysalis is offline
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I must admit, rather sheepishly, that I didn't know that a person could carry their gun out in the open. I would have been doing that all along. I will probably switch from my .308 to hub's 1911. It looks much meaner and, well, it is meaner. Haha, maybe I should open carry the 1911 and CC the .308!

I don't think I've told my close friend (with the LEO husband) about the man who stops me, mostly because I don't bring it up unless he stops me. Then I tell my in-laws.

I've really been thinking about a large dog again. We had a Doberman a couple years ago. When I walked with her I never felt fearful. Then she got hold of our daughter by the arm and we couldn't keep her. I swore I wouldn't get another till my son reached 5 ft but that is going to be a few years.
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