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Old 04-05-2020, 11:21 AM
Kansas Terri Kansas Terri is online now
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I am Zeke, my Father went from being a poor and hungry depression child to being successful, moderately wealthy, and raised 6 kids while he was doing it. Also he is a WW2 vet.

You can TRY to "reset his expectations", we have all tried it, but I do not think that you will succeed any better than we have. He simply decides what he will do next and then he does it.

His (somewhat) older brother is almost as determined. Being long-lived and highly independent appears to be hereditary in his family
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Old 04-05-2020, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Kansas Terri View Post
I am Zeke, my Father went from being a poor and hungry depression child to being successful, moderately wealthy, and raised 6 kids while he was doing it. Also he is a WW2 vet.

You can TRY to "reset his expectations", we have all tried it, but I do not think that you will succeed any better than we have. He simply decides what he will do next and then he does it.

His (somewhat) older brother is almost as determined. Being long-lived and highly independent appears to be hereditary in his family
Only humor their eccentricities if it pays to honor it. Cleaning up after a parent dies is serious work. They made a choice in having you.

If you succeeded in getting off your dependency of them when you came of age then your debt is paid.

Those that fall into your dependency or leave you with the cleanup likely will need to be put to heel.

Otherwise you will resent them for their late abuse of you. Dying isn't an out for their leftover mess.
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Old 04-05-2020, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by IamZeke View Post
Only humor their eccentricities if it pays to honor it. Cleaning up after a parent dies is serious work. They made a choice in having you.

If you succeeded in getting off your dependency of them when you came of age then your debt is paid.

Those that fall into your dependency or leave you with the cleanup likely will need to be put to heel.

Otherwise you will resent them for their late abuse of you. Dying isn't an out for their leftover mess.



Oh how I wish that were true! But I guess to them, being deceased and gone on to better things, their mess is behind them.

But yeah, being the one to help clean up their estate can be a nightmare. You find things you wish you hadn't.
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Old 04-05-2020, 02:01 PM
PurpleKitty PurpleKitty is online now
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MY husband likely has dementia. I don't resent him I am angry at the man who gave him the brain damage.

He tried to wander the other day when I was gone but only got as far as the garage. That is a gift to me because the last thing I need is him getting run over again.

So I can relate. Happily he is happy to stay home during this he is pretty much a "bed bug" before this wanting to spend every minute in bed.
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Old 04-05-2020, 02:52 PM
IC_Rafe IC_Rafe is offline
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Originally Posted by TXplowgirl View Post
Ohhhh, I am sooo ticked off at her right now. Finally talked her into staying home like we have all been told to do. I thought she finally understood, no going on cruises, no going to town every day, no going anywhere, just stay at home. Thought she finally had that understood.

Take a wild guess what she's done now?

Last time I happened to look outside yesterday about noon her car was still in her driveway, Didn't look out today but she called me about an hour ago and i'm still fuming.

She went to Texas to visit my brother, his girlfriend and her 3 youngun's. She left out yesterday about 1pm. Got there about 6pm. She's staying until Tuesday or Wednesday before coming back home and while there she's planning on going around and visiting old friends and her 2 granddaughters and 1 great granddaughter.

She will not be allowed to visit over here for another 2 weeks once she gets home and now I may make that a month.
Wouldn't wish the following situation on anyone in any real situation, but someone like that will understand when 1 thing happens:

She gets home and shows symptoms, just as she gets home. Gets tested, is revealed to have been sick for weeks. Has spread the disease to your brother, his girlfriend and their 3 kids, who are in the hospital in 2 weeks too. Same with the old friends and granddaughter/greatgranddaughter. She herself being responsible for putting everyone she knows in the hospital and spreading it MIGHT wake her up.

Edit: i wrote this in another thread too, but it's relevant here.

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Sometimes i think people are just doing it out of spite. Just out of principle. Tell them they can't get together, and against all common sense, they'll get together. Tell someone it's best for them and those around them that they stay inside, and they'll go out just to show their principles and that "the man can't keep them down". They'll use whatever loophole, to get around a law or regulation or rule anyone sets on them, even if they know is in their best interest and they would normally just do.

Reminds me of kids sometimes.
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Old 04-05-2020, 03:43 PM
Kansas Terri Kansas Terri is online now
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Originally Posted by IamZeke View Post
Only humor their eccentricities if it pays to honor it. Cleaning up after a parent dies is serious work. They made a choice in having you.

If you succeeded in getting off your dependency of them when you came of age then your debt is paid.

Those that fall into your dependency or leave you with the cleanup likely will need to be put to heel.

Otherwise you will resent them for their late abuse of you. Dying isn't an out for their leftover mess.
Dependent? IamZeke, my family does not DO dependent. Nor do we humor our Dad. My relatives can be a quarellsome lot at times, but nobody is dependent and they will spit in your eye if you say that they are!

I think that you live in a very different world than we do. In the world that we live in, age and experience makes a person MORE clever, not less.
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:24 PM
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Tx plowgirl----------------
This may not be, what you want to hear.....
I lost my mother in 2001...
She was the only one I'd ever have.....
And yours, can't hold a candle to my crazy....
But, I'd do almost anything, to hug her, just one more time.....
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:39 PM
PurpleKitty PurpleKitty is online now
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Sailor, not all mothers are a gift to their children. Mine disabled me before birth, neglected me so bad she lost custody, and couldn't be bothered to show when she did have visitation.

She died alone just the way she wanted. Homeless, too.

Last I talked to my sister she was trying to follow in our mother's footsteps and be a hot emotional mess having meltdowns every 5 minutes and making everyone clean up after her. So I cut off contact with her, too.

My uncle doesn't see how I could do it, but there was no way I could have her in my life. Her stated goal was to break up my marriage so I would move in with her and be the caregiver. 24/7, for room and board.

I found that a hellish prospect.

Just saying not all families are great.
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:46 PM
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Well, something happened. She was planning on spending a week down there. She just came home. She says she changed her mind. Called little brother and asked him what happened and he said that she called a few old friends and everyone told her to stay away and it sounded like they all chewed her out.

He was pretty ticked off that they treated her thataway and then got even more ticked when I told him "Well, someone needed to." He is still in the "It's just the flu" stage of denial.

Whew, I can relax now.
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:59 PM
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PKitty-------------
Was I talking to you ?
open your own wo-is-me thread...……..
Nor, was I addressing your mother problems...……..
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Old 04-05-2020, 11:41 PM
Mr. Sockpuppet Mr. Sockpuppet is offline
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Originally Posted by ehryk View Post
yeah, but only a 0.01% chance of that.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/ar...4-872Zvtmkw5NY
In deference to Real Clear Politics, there are currently 337,278 confirmed cases of COVID-19 within the United States, with 9,637 deaths associated with such. That comes to 0.02857286867%. While RCP may choose to water the numbers down a bit due to the lagged data with respect to positive results, that is still a fairly high number.

There are roughly 330 million within the United States. Even if the RCP speculation is accurate with a .01% death toll, COVID-19 still could potentially result in 3 million deaths in America.

Over 70% of people hospitalized with COVID-19 and almost 80% of those admitted to an ICU, had a preexisting conditions or risk factors that placed them at risk, with those histories being a 1.Current smoker, 2.Hepatic disease/disorder, 3.DM, 4.Immunocompromised, or 5.Respiratory histories (COPD, Asthma, etc.) being the largest populations to be admitted.
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Old 04-05-2020, 11:43 PM
Mr. Sockpuppet Mr. Sockpuppet is offline
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Originally Posted by Sailor View Post
PKitty-------------
Was I talking to you ?
open your own wo-is-me thread.....
Nor, was I addressing your mother problems.....
If you don't want to see what she contributes, please just block her.
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Old 04-06-2020, 01:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Sockpuppet View Post
If you don't want to see what she contributes, please just block her.
I like her,....sock...
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Old 04-06-2020, 02:30 AM
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Asymptomatic people can spread havoc.

Ask them if it's worth making other people sick and die just because they are unwilling to quarantine themselves.
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Old 04-06-2020, 04:49 AM
PurpleKitty PurpleKitty is online now
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Well, she's home now.

Hopefully she learned her lesson about wandering, my aunt has been really bad, just doing the letter of the law but not the spirit, taking long walks every day and "happening" to run into neighbors so they can "visit", etc. Having a big family gathering a few weeks ago, etc., upset her sons are keeping their kids home now.

We go to work, bank (cash deposits), and home and that is it. I go out to Walmart 1 x a week and I had to go to the vet last week, but I stayed outside and they treated the cat in their facility.

I wonder if it would work to disable her car somehow...
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Old 04-06-2020, 05:25 AM
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RE- ALL the old "irresponsible" people in this thread under discussion..

Simply put, a lot of these folks have reached a point where they really are OK with dying. Have lived a long life and well past most folks in their age bracket and after that a certain fatality mentality sets in that says, "I made it this far, so if it is my time, I am ready for it."

It makes them kinda fearless. I saw it a LOT in the ghetto duty. Old black guys in their 70 were absolutely fearless. They never imagined living that long and so they were all living in bonus time and just weren't afraid. They were the most dangerous people we had to deal with.

Maybe if the relatives you are worried about catch the bug their minds will change, but up until then, they have the rest of their lives to live and not much short of a nuke will change their minds.
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Old 04-06-2020, 10:23 AM
Mr. Sockpuppet Mr. Sockpuppet is offline
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Originally Posted by jetgraphics View Post
Asymptomatic people can spread havoc.

Ask them if it's worth making other people sick and die just because they are unwilling to quarantine themselves.
Actually, both symptomatic and asymptomatic people can spread havoc.

If they are that self-absorbed, then it wouldn't do any good asking them anything.
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Old 04-06-2020, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXplowgirl View Post
Ohhhh, I am sooo ticked off at her right now. Finally talked her into staying home like we have all been told to do. I thought she finally understood, no going on cruises, no going to town every day, no going anywhere, just stay at home. Thought she finally had that understood.

Take a wild guess what she's done now?

Last time I happened to look outside yesterday about noon her car was still in her driveway, Didn't look out today but she called me about an hour ago and i'm still fuming.

She went to Texas to visit my brother, his girlfriend and her 3 youngun's. She left out yesterday about 1pm. Got there about 6pm. She's staying until Tuesday or Wednesday before coming back home and while there she's planning on going around and visiting old friends and her 2 granddaughters and 1 great granddaughter.

She will not be allowed to visit over here for another 2 weeks once she gets home and now I may make that a month.

Boy ... I love your mom's free spirit. Sounds like she's not fond of being "told what to do."


104-year-old grandmother survives C-19: https://nypost.com/2020/04/06/the-10...ronavirus-ass/
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Old 04-06-2020, 03:25 PM
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So? She's big girl and can do what she wants. Why are people always wanting to control others and get angry when they cannot control others?

What ever happened to liberty and freedom?
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Old 04-06-2020, 03:31 PM
neiowa neiowa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ducts View Post
Ya'll just need to stay indoors to stop the spread. Why don't people get that?
You don't have to stay indoors. You have to stays AWAY from people. Preferably on your own property,
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