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Old 03-28-2013, 09:21 AM
Mominator Mominator is offline
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I do like the tazer idea too. You can have one in your pocket and be all set to go. Honestly drawing and aiming takes time and there is no way to hide the action. A hand in your pocket where your tazer is can be much more discrete. I have a whole collection of them and love the little ones that look like flashlights etc. It would not take much to settle his business enough for you to have the time to get to your pistol but alone the pistol might be ineffective if he is too close. Do not assume because he is older that he is weaker than you. My late husband could unload a truck full of feed sacks faster than most men in their 20s when he was in his late 60s. This guy could be dangerous and he doesn't fit with my idea of cultural norms so while it could be nothing there is no point in taking a risk if it costs you nothing. Also make sure you keep your cell phone on you at all times.

Dogs are great. I used to have a problem with a couple of redneck idiots when I went on walks (back in the days when I was a skinny little thing) then one day my wolf removed the beer can from the hand of the one on the passenger side. Amazingly after that they drove by very quickly and with all windows closed when they saw me. Just pick a child friendly breed I love Rots and Dobie but they are a little much with kids if you get a rescue (and you do need an adult dog) so you might be better off with a ST. Bernard or other slow breed.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:41 AM
Chrysalis Chrysalis is offline
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Do people usually buy tasers online? I don't recall seeing one in a store. I am interested, I just wonder if the shock would be strong enough.

Although he is probably in his early 60's he looks to be strong. Probably 250 lbs and around 5'10. I'm no match for that.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:48 AM
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You can get them online for next to nothing and I promise you they will put him down long enough for you to get away / get a gun. You do not feel good after that, and then some Personally I like to carry a spare. (Love being a chubby mommy type - all sorts of hiding spaces those skinny little teenagers in their miniskirts don't have - LOL) They are cheap and effective just check the local regulations with your friends LEO husband so you do not get in trouble. They are a Godsend in a pinch and you just feel so much more secure with them in hand.

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Old 03-28-2013, 02:30 PM
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If you're considering getting a big dog, might I suggest a German Shepherd? They make good guard dogs and are good with children. My Axl would eat the face off of anyone who comes in my house, but he loves to lay on the floor and let my little boys smother him. Even my almost-two-year-old can hand feed Axl and he won't even nip the baby's fingers. But if someone who doesn't live in this house shows up, I have no doubt he'd protect my family (just as long as that person doesn't show up with a vacuum. He's terrified of the vacuum.)

Carry your gun, get a taser, keep your phone in your pocket, and get a big dog. I seriously doubt if that guy would stop you if he saw you on the phone, walking a dog, with a pistol on your hip. Stay safe!
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Old 03-28-2013, 03:34 PM
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Default sounds like a stalker

I know I'm late to the show here and I've read thru most of the replies so hopefully I don't repeat a lot of what has already been said.

There is definitely something 'off' about this man. Trust your instincts and your instincts are already telling you to keep your guard up around him. You should not have to change your routine or life however this man sounds like he is stalking you. If he is, then he already knows your routines. Where is he coming from when he shows up on your walks? Could he be staked out somewhere watching you while you're still on your property?

If he knows personal things like you giving haircuts to friends, that means that he is talking about you with your friends, which isn't likely...or watching you, which is more likely. Creepy!

Some others have mentioned confronting him and asking his intentions. Personally, this wouldn't be my choice. You are alone with this man, in a secluded area. He could be keeping his calm because you are cooperative and unquestioning. He could have a trigger, which could be you confronting him or taking a tone that he doesn't like. As of now, he sounds like he's not a physical threat.

I would definitely open carry in this situation. However, just know that if things were to turn confrontational, and he were to knock you down, protect that gun from his reach...roll over on top of it, and in the meantime, conceal your other firearm on your opposite side so you can access that and he won't know it's there...or pepper spray or whatever other weapon you feel comfortable with as a back up.

As for the large dog...I would always recommend a German Shepherd I have the most amazing GSD that I rescued last year. When you get dogs from a rescue, they are tested for temperament and also tested around various ages of kids. Since I have a SN kid, it was important that the dog would be good around any age group. My dog has proved to be so loyal and protective of our entire family. I've grown up with them since birth so there is no other breed that I would ever consider.

It's good that you have a friend in law enforcement, it may make things easier for you if you need to start filing reports. When I was being stalked by my ex, I was told by the police I could not get a restraining order because he had not physically harmed me...he had in the relationship, but nothing that had ever been reported so there was no history of abuse on paper. He became very erratic and unpredictable at the end. I never even knew he was following me half the time until I would get to my car and see letters or flowers or things written on my windshield.

I am not typically a person who sees the worst in people. I truly don't jump to these conclusions lightly. This man could just be a lonely older guy happy to find someone for conversation. I know my judgement of the situation seems harsh and it is not the same as my situation was. Just be careful.
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Old 03-28-2013, 04:53 PM
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I think whatever a person does should protect the innocent at the same time as it defends against the guilty.

And the move to make to do both when you don't know which he is is a key move. It takes thought. it takes thinking outside the box.

I am quite committed to the suggestion completely ignored by you all, that you invite the guy to dinner.

You are in a strange world of paranoia and attack. Beware of it. Who attacks first? The attacker or the defender? You have to be sure that the defender is not actually the attacker.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:36 PM
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i have seen tazers at some gun shows. i don't know how realiable they'd be buying from like ebay or amazon.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:40 PM
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Never invite a stranger into your home. Never.

If his wife hasn't made an effort to get to know you, as a neighbor, then you can bet that he's kept his many encounters with you to himself for a reason.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by eadavis View Post
i have seen tazers at some gun shows. i don't know how realiable they'd be buying from like ebay or amazon.
Don't use eBay or Amazon. Go to a self-defense supply site. If you Google pepper spray, most of those sites also sell tasers.

I have a stun gun since in MN, I would need a permit for a taser. I got my first stun gun when my last apt. was robbed in broad daylight. I didn't feel safe sleeping there without one.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Gypsymoonfarm View Post
I must admit, rather sheepishly, that I didn't know that a person could carry their gun out in the open. I would have been doing that all along. I will probably switch from my .308 to hub's 1911. It looks much meaner and, well, it is meaner. Haha, maybe I should open carry the 1911 and CC the .308!

I don't think I've told my close friend (with the LEO husband) about the man who stops me, mostly because I don't bring it up unless he stops me. Then I tell my in-laws.

I've really been thinking about a large dog again. We had a Doberman a couple years ago. When I walked with her I never felt fearful. Then she got hold of our daughter by the arm and we couldn't keep her. I swore I wouldn't get another till my son reached 5 ft but that is going to be a few years.
Look into a rhodesian ridgeback. A well-trained one is good around kids a good guard dog.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:50 PM
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Look into a rhodesian ridgeback. A well-trained one is good around kids a good guard dog.
And they're gorgeous...just sayin'
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:55 PM
Hermit Jax Hermit Jax is offline
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I think whatever a person does should protect the innocent at the same time as it defends against the guilty.

And the move to make to do both when you don't know which he is is a key move. It takes thought. it takes thinking outside the box.

I am quite committed to the suggestion completely ignored by you all, that you invite the guy to dinner.

You are in a strange world of paranoia and attack. Beware of it. Who attacks first? The attacker or the defender? You have to be sure that the defender is not actually the attacker.
I saw the suggestion, I just didn't respond to it until now.

If someone was giving me stalker vibes and displays more knowledge of you than you think they should have, I would be EXTREMELY RELUCTANT to invite them into my home, or enter theirs alone. Unfortunately in this day and age, you generally should err on t he side of caution, and if the person is displaying stalker behavior, making social overtures towards them could just encourage the kind of behavior you want them to stop.
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:57 PM
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I'm going to ignore any suggestion to willingly bring something I perceive as a possible threat or danger into my house. Period.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:13 PM
Mominator Mominator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermit Jax View Post
I saw the suggestion, I just didn't respond to it until now.

If someone was giving me stalker vibes and displays more knowledge of you than you think they should have, I would be EXTREMELY RELUCTANT to invite them into my home, or enter theirs alone. Unfortunately in this day and age, you generally should err on t he side of caution, and if the person is displaying stalker behavior, making social overtures towards them could just encourage the kind of behavior you want them to stop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lark View Post
I'm going to ignore any suggestion to willingly bring something I perceive as a possible threat or danger into my house. Period.
Abs is in NZ it is a different world. Here he stands out like a sore thumb, there they seem to be able to have a little more hope for humanity
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:42 AM
Catherine_MT Catherine_MT is offline
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Question Good golly Molly!

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Definitely get his name off property records.

Definitely have your cop friend do a background check.

Ask the local sheriff about him, as you think it's odd that he stops you so many times. You think he's married, so find out for sure from the sheriff.

Sometimes these odd characters get braver as they get older.

Do you have a dog that can act as an alarm when someone comes onto your property? I used to have a small terrier that could hear the back door quietly open, when she was upstairs in a front bedroom! Twice she alerted me to my neighbor quietly opening my back door when we were upstairs having a nap. I don't know who trained the dog, but she was quiet with her 'alert' and when necessary would bite without warning. Best dog I ever had. Bit my nosey neighbor right on the nose without warning.... lol
I am glad that you have/had a good, protective dog but you should be careful. Awake - about your house running a vacuum cleaner, other noise makers, etc. or sound asleep for a day nap or an all night sleep.

You should lock your back and front DOORS even if you live in a super safe area.

No offense.

There are plenty of 'SAFE' areas like living in the 50's (Mayberry - the old tv show.) that DO HAVE CRIME and they have had a rash of break ins, home invasions, rapes, murders, etc. and that went back to the 70's too. More recently now in the boonies, suburbs, small towns, cities, etc.

I am too tired to list the statistics on this now but it is a FACT even though people say that they live in a good neighborhood, in the country, in a small Norman Rockwell village, etc.

Your good neighbors may not see it all or if your house is close to a tree line or blocked off... the GOOD ones may not see it all to alert you or call the sheriff if you are home or not home. Short or long driveway - straight or curved.

I pays to have good neighbors who watch out for one another.

WHAT THE BLAZES WAS YOUR 'NOSY' NEIGHBOR DOING IN YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT YOU OFFICIALLY INVITING HER OR HIM IN ANYWAY?!

SNEAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE? Say what?!

Did you make a scene and tell her/him or them to GET OUT and that THEY WERE TRESPASSING?!

SCREW that crapola from anyone - NO one comes INTO MY HOUSE unless I (Or my late husband or my MT husband.) personally INVITE THEM IN!

NICE or whoever (?)... I DO THE ASKING IN and no one who KNOWS ME well, no matter WHERE I have lived, enters without me knowing WHO THEY ARE FIRST. LONG time friends know this about me as I know the same about them. I do not do that to them and they do not do that to me and these are people who I would TRUST MY LIFE WITH. OLD military people, retired and working LE people and old close friends that I LOVE DEARLY.

They would have had to get past a German Shepherd dog or two dogs plus you don't SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE especially people who are armed.

You must have had an ODD neighbor - please tell me more. Thank you. What did you DO after the 'incident' other than have your dog NAB THEM? I hope that you had a good talk with them and, IF need be, filed a report if they were/are ___!!!

Stay safe.

Catherine
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:45 AM
Catherine_MT Catherine_MT is offline
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Whether he has a wife or not is irrelevant. A friend from high school lost his girlfriend in 1980 to a maried couple who gave her a ride as she hitchhiked out to see him at college. They kept her for several days of repeated rapes..the wife participated, then killed her and dumped her body.
^^^

Very true. Thank you for putting this up. I am late responding to the posts here.

Catherine
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:47 AM
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I agree that by all means, follow your gut instincts about this guy and always stay in more public places and stay armed. He's probably just a lonely older man with too little to keep him busy, but that's something you need to find out.

It seems to me that you were not assertive enough with this man from the very beginning. Personalities differ, of course, but if it were me, I would have quickly found out his name, his wife's name, where they work, what they do for a living, are they retired, do they have kids and grandchildren, do they come to visit often. All this not necessarily from intense interest but from self preservation. I like knowing more about others than they know about me. With strangers I prefer to talk about them rather than about me, until I feel comfortable enough with them to open up.

When he said he heard that I cut hair I would have asked who told him that, and found out who we know in common so I could check him out that way. Instead, you told him your business. Also, ask if he knows whatshisname down the road or ask for a referral to a good mechanic or something--not that you need one, but so you will know who knows him.

The first thing that I thought of back on page one of this thread was that you should google this guy. It won't tell you everything but it should tell you a lot. At his age, he's probably not on facebook, but it's worth looking to see. I know someone who's 73 and on fb because he wants to keep up with his grandkids. You never know what idiots will expose about themselves on fb.

In short, take charge. You have to be in control, not him. Since he feels it's ok to approach you, why not stop by his house with your husband to see what happens. You'll probably just be invited in for coffee and you can get a better look at them and the way they live, including family pics or hobbies. If you are not invited in or he or she seem weird that you have taken the initiative, then you've still learned something.

ETA: I should add that although I've lived in many cities, I come from a rural community and this is how people behave and think where I'm from. The newcomer must sort of prove himself--and it may take 2-3 decades not to be considered a newcomer--and that just means someone you don't know. Most people know who others are and who their families are going back several generations, so the way of doing things and thinking may be different where you're from.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:07 AM
Catherine_MT Catherine_MT is offline
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Originally Posted by Gypsymoonfarm View Post
I must admit, rather sheepishly, that I didn't know that a person could carry their gun out in the open. I would have been doing that all along. I will probably switch from my .308 to hub's 1911. It looks much meaner and, well, it is meaner. Haha, maybe I should open carry the 1911 and CC the .308!

I don't think I've told my close friend (with the LEO husband) about the man who stops me, mostly because I don't bring it up unless he stops me. Then I tell my in-laws.

I've really been thinking about a large dog again. We had a Doberman a couple years ago. When I walked with her I never felt fearful. Then she got hold of our daughter by the arm and we couldn't keep her. I swore I wouldn't get another till my son reached 5 ft but that is going to be a few years.
I personally am a German Shepherd lady! I like pure bred German Shepherds, GS/collie 1/2 - 1/2 mixes and I like some Alaskan type dogs too. I have not adopted a GS puppy or had a dog since I had my old, sickly ones put to sleep at 15.5 and 16.5 years old months after my late husband died over 10 years ago.

Check your state and county gun laws.

SOME STATES, believe it or not, do NOT allow open carry of handguns.

They wanted to change the laws but places like Texas, Florida, etc. do not allow open carry of HANDGUNS unless those LAWS RECENTLY CHANGED.

I have some close friends who were born and raised in Texas, Veterans and FFL men, who now live in Montana and we have spoken about this. Same for my FL friends.

NO kidding even in this day and age... nuts.

Heck, do you ever walk with a rifle on a sling in woods/wilderness for bear protection? I open carry in the woods and in some places where we go... I pack a rifle with a sling too. Rough, rugged country, etc. Plus you have 2 and 4 legged creatures out there now. SOME places are now infiltrated with some nut jobs and criminals who make drugs in woods/wilderness areas. They have murdered couples with their DOG/DOGS too. On the news. I have been hiking and OUT to some places where my 6' 1" TALL husband said to me, "Let's get back to the truck!" Other times, he and our Nam Vet real estate man had the hair raised on his neck and then SOME and we LEFT THE AREA! SQUATTERS = CRIMINALS on private property which was later reported to the authorities and property owners, DOPERS, DRUNKS OR JUST YOUR RUN OF THE MILL CREEPS... they are out there and in ALL STATES.

I am NOT talking about people who have the right to camp on public land or at a private place when I mention 'squatters'.

I do not know what state you live in as I type this to you.

There have been some strange crimes in CA, WA, OR, ID, MT, WY, even in fly over country, all of the way down south and up and down the east coast. So if you hike on public land, ladies and gentlemen, woods/wilderness as some of us do... sigh, be careful.

Take care!

Catherine
Armed and Female
Western Montana

Last edited by Catherine_MT; 03-29-2013 at 01:45 AM.. Reason: Added more - typos.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:24 AM
Kay Kay is offline
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[QUOTE=Gypsymoonfarm;5378951]I must admit, rather sheepishly, that I didn't know that a person could carry their gun out in the open. I would have been doing that all along. I will probably switch from my .308 to hub's 1911. It looks much meaner and, well, it is meaner. Haha, maybe I should open carry the 1911 and CC the .308!

Whether you can legally open carry or not depends on the laws in your state, so be sure you know what they are. Open carry is illegal in my state.

ETA: Oops, I didn't see Catherine's post before I posted.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:28 AM
Catherine_MT Catherine_MT is offline
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I would NOT invite a person (Male or female, a couple with or without their children.) to dinner, to step inside of my house or have them ON MY LAND... if they gave off bad VIBES to me or my gut told me to keep a clear distance from them.

NO way!

I used to LIVE in a very RURAL area for over 30 years (My late husband's home state and village - we built our house in the country.) that was considered super safe in fly over country (Great Lakes region.) - picture Mayberry or Norman Rockwell in your mind.

They still had some strange people even elderly men who were married.

They still had some 'locals' who would 'case' some places to rob them - NO kidding. Been there - done that in our newly built house and my GS nailed him while we were working in the city - broad daylight.

They still had some bad people in that township and county even though they had many GOOD people too.

TRUST your gut. Do not live in fear but trust your gut.

Catherine
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