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Old 11-08-2019, 12:25 AM
proud Texan proud Texan is offline
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So I was talking on the phone with my mother the other day while she was on a 3 day weekend. She is 49, single, great job, and physically capable of getting out.
The conversation went into how she had to leave the house in this dreary weather to go to the dreaded Wal-Mart. We all hate going to Wal-Mart right. Well she needed to go to the store and buy some food because after 2 days at home without leaving she had no more food to eat.
I engaged the conversation with talking about how it would be nice to have much more food on hand and that you could just buy a little extra every time you went to the store along with keeping at least 2-3 cases of bottled water on hand. I didnt go overload prepper on her or anything and have never really talked to anyone, including family, about being prepared unless the conversation kinda creates itself. At which point I talk about just having plenty of food, water, and way of heat and cooking in the event of maybe an ice storm, which we had a few years back that knocked power out and shut down stores and roads for 5 days. I told her how it was nice not having to leave the house at all and having plenty of food, water, and a heat source and just kick back with the family and play games and enjoy the ice and snow.
And for the first time said to me, she then goes into how well if anything happens "she'll just come to my house" since we have plenty of food and water. I then went into a what if it was something more serious than an ice storm and maybe you needed these things for an extended period of time than just a 5 days. She stayed with the fact of just coming to my house. Well what if you can't make it to my house? The conversation then kinda dulled out. But I have a wife and 2 kids. She basically refuses to prepare. I certainly couldn't deny my mother on my door step of course.
But how have yall better approached this conversation and what actions have yall maybe taken? I can only think, I either buy her preps myself or make sure I have enough preps to cover my family and her for an extended period of time. Either of which take away from my wife and kids and our survival.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:50 AM
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Christmas is approaching. A case of water and some food might make a suitable gift for her.
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Old 11-08-2019, 02:56 AM
Snyper708 Snyper708 is offline
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I either buy her preps myself or make sure I have enough preps to cover my family and her for an extended period of time. Either of which take away from my wife and kids and our survival.
Stash some of your stuff at her house and tell her it's in case you all need to go there in an emergency.
Give her a list of stuff she needs to bring if she comes to your place.
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:21 AM
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I've told my friends many, many times ... if it hits the fan, and you come rolling into my driveway in jeans and a T-shirt, sipping a beer and wondering when the burgers will be ready, I WILL turn you away!

I tell them, "You'd better load your car up with every possible thing you can if you are coming here to survive a disaster. Grab your toothpaste and deodorant, toilet paper, clothes, towels, medical supplies, vitamins, soap and shampoo, canned goods, and everything else you can bring, to contribute to your own survival. I do NOT need a bunch of baby birds sitting around my place with their beaks open waiting for the next morsel of food to be dropped into their mouths! I know you don't have everything, but BRING WHAT YOU HAVE!"

Several people have said their plan is to come to my place. "Oh? Okay. That is fine. Just write me a check RIGHT NOW for $10,000.00 so I can go buy the extra supplies I will need to provide for your care."

They come back with, "But ... you have a lot of stuff!" "Yes. Yes I do. I have what I need to take care of ME, my girlfriend, and perhaps close family members. My home is NOT a COSTCO!"
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:50 AM
hardcalibres hardcalibres is offline
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In general terms:

1) You can not talk people who are non-preppers into prepping (or even thinking a bit like a prepper) - even when you think you may have done so, the transformation is most likely temporary.

2) If you try to talk a non-prepper into prepping, you will let them know you are a prepper and by breaking opsec, you will either get the "I am coming to your place" statement (or they will just think that without saying it out loud).

3) Only discuss prepping with people who you really trust and you know are at least as prepared as you are. Even then, if you have any doubt, then keep your mouth shut. That which is heard cannot then be unheard.

4) People who are not preppers, who know you are, have nothing to lose by telling others about your prepping (and won't understand the problems they will cause you and maybe themselves). So such breaches in OPSEC will most likely multiply.

5) In a severe crisis (both prior and during the event), not understanding points 1-4 above and breaching OPSEC can get you killed.

If you want to prep for loved ones, then do so. But don't breach OPSEC - you will need a plan for when and how to get those people securely to your location in a crisis. Keep that plan as a surprise for them in the case of a real crisis.
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Old 11-08-2019, 04:31 AM
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It's your mother dude.

She fed you many times.


That said: I have several cases of mountain house #10 cans under the stairs at my mothers house.
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Old 11-08-2019, 05:49 AM
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Wife and I put together a large rubbermaid storage container for my folks, they keep in the attached garage. Food needs updating, but other essentials were packed in the event of an emergency...pretty much bug in gear til I could make it there. We also always replenish their water supply when we visit.

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Old 11-08-2019, 06:51 AM
Revmgt Revmgt is offline
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My plan is to get my mother and bring her to my house if things go bad. I canít trust her safety to anyone other than myself.
If your finances are limited like every other working family man, maybe talk it over with your mother and set up a plan. Tell her she is to come to your house in times of trouble, and have her write you a check so you can go get provisions that will cover her. If she has any dietary requirements you can set up special preps for her needs, stuff she likes, etc.

Her giving you money to provide for her is not her paying you to come to your house, itís a way to provide for her without leaning on resources you have set aside for your kids.
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Old 11-08-2019, 07:30 AM
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I gave the book One Second After to a friend and told him to read it he did, and he was turned to a prepper right away, it scared the crap out of him, and has done well with his preps for a newbie, my one bit of advice to him was to keep his mouth shut don't tell anyone about any of his prepps not even his family, we gave the book to another acquaintance and he read it and stated Hell I got a ar 15 I'll take what I need when the SHTF he has 2 magazines and maybe 60 or rounds of ammo at any time, I see him not lasting very long in an event even more so if he comes around me, I don't tell any one about anything I have, I keep my mouth shut unless I feel you are committed to preparing for an uncertain future and then only will I guide you in the right direction.

I'm involved with a local group trying to get a MAG (mutual assistance group) started, and we have had a few meetings involving about 30 people, and I told the organizer of the group a local Gun Shop owner, a good friend, that when half these people have to start shelling out money you'll see them drop out, their all about being involved in a group like this till it starts costing money then they find they have other things to do with their time instead of prepping or putting effort into buying the things that are needed to survive an SHTF event.

Had one fellow ask me this question he said" Hell the country is doing well right now is their any good reason to prep or even spend the kind of money its going to take to survive a SHTF event" I told him you go home and look your 8 year old boy in the eyes and ask yourself that question, don't ask me! is not my job to make you care for you and your own, or take care of you and your own. you have the ability to do this for your family now, not after the SHTF its either important or not its your call. He left the Gun Shop with not much to say, I have no pity for people like that, those kind will fill the FEMA camps or the streets with their blood.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:31 AM
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You also need to make it clear that if she makes it to your place, she is not to bring half her neighborhood with her, or tell everybody that she's going to your place because you have lots of food.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:38 AM
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I went to see my parents the weekend my Dad turned 60. At one point, he took me aside and said, "No matter what happens, take care of your mother." This puzzled me, but I promised him I would.

Less than a year later, he was dead from heart disease.

That was almost 20 years ago, but I would still keep my promise if it ever became necessary. Not that I wouldn't do whatever I could for her anyway, because she's my mother. But still... I promised my Dad.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:45 AM
PurpleKitty PurpleKitty is offline
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I had a pretty toxic relationship with my stepmother. An example, she was so eager to get rid of me she encouraged my relationship with a man 20 years older, abusive, history of alcoholic blackouts, unemployed, no prospects, etc. Basically forced me into it.

Fast forward when they were looking at a power loss she just immediately went to "I will go to my (biological) daughter's house" - inviting herself over.

I have given her supplies and spent a fair amount on things like a water BOB, food, electronics, water filter, etc. She gave it all away "because I don't have room for it". She lives thousands of miles away, I did what I could.
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Old 11-08-2019, 08:57 AM
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Call it cold, but your immediate household should always be your main concern. If your mother won't contribute, she is directly taking the food out of her grandchildren's mouths. Does she have any skills that would be valuable in post disaster world? In my rural area, a lot of of farm/ranch wives still know the ways of the old days. Years of patching up husbands, kids, farm/ranch hands. Some of the finest stitches I've ever seen, came from a farm wife's hands. Canning, medicinal wild plants, all that kinda old information. In a disaster tough decisions will have to be made, the old sadly, especially with no discernible skills, or preps, with medical issues won't be long for the mortal world. Young, able bodied, prepared, skilled, and intelligent will be the hot commodity.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:18 AM
Kansas Terri Kansas Terri is offline
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Your Mom OBVIOUSLY does not live in a state that gets softball sized hail, snow, and ice!

Oh, wait, she does!

You know, even if she can drive very well on the ice, there is always that yahoo that drives badly and causes a 5 car pile up. Sometimes a persone is better off staying at home!

.................................................. ........................

OK, on to the real business at hand. My first preps was a single shelf in the basement with some canned foods that I liked. Surely your Mom has room in the garage for some man-handlers Campbell soup, some canned fruit, and a box of Ritz crackers? Perhaps a few cans of pork in BBQ sauce for a meal when she feels lazy?

She can always replace these things on her next shopping trip if she takes them off the shelf and uses them: I do this when I simply want a meal that I do not have to fix! And I found this to be a wonderful convenience. From there I branched out into things like canned mushrooms and olives and canned meats and other tasty things.

THEN We got a 3 day ice storm and the power went out and I realized how LIMITED my tiny pantry was, and how boring. I like to eat well and HOW many times a day did I want to eat canned tuna? Yuck. So I expanded the pantry and began prepping

At any rate, I started with a single shelf of things that I consider to be tasty, which I used when I did not want to shop, and replaced when I DID shop. Heck, if there are no kids in the house any longer she can also stash some bags of candy and wheat thins or any other food that she likes. Because having a stash of tasty edibles sure can make your life more fun!

PS. Your Mom fed you and took care of you and held your hand when you crossed the street. So you are entirely correct when you say that you would not turn your Mom away, though honestly she might get tired of sleeping on your sofa. Some people will SAY that they would turn their parents away, but I rarely believe them
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:24 AM
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+1 on sending her the book "One Second After". I was always prepared with tools, hunting, trapping and fishing stuff, generators, fuel, but never with food, water, trauma and first aid supplies, and other assorted stuff.

After reading that book, about 6-12 months of food, a half dozen bags of wheat berries, wheat grinder, sugar, salt, large bag of yeast, meat grinder, baking powder, beans, flour, rice, rice, rice, oil, seasonings, a couple water barrels, water filters, supplies to put in a shallow well, a couple bushel baskets of trauma and first aid supplies, a sturdy bike, a bike motor kit, insecticides, gardening supplies, small ham radio, buckets, shelves, barrels, canning equipment etc. sort of appeared in my house real fast and in a hurry.

Maybe I over-reacted, but it was really not that expensive as insurance. That book
really had an effect on me. Maybe the best way to reach someone you care about that has 2 days of food in the house.

But if a parent comes to your house needing help, I would hope you take care of them without hesitation. Unless you were raised by Hannibal Lechter. Actually he might still be welcome. He could make a gourmet meal out of anything. And very polite.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:27 AM
PurpleKitty PurpleKitty is offline
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I have decided to ship some supplies to my adoptive sister, who will be "carrying" my elderly parents. BIL is a vegan but Backpacker's does some very good options.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:27 AM
Florida Jean Florida Jean is online now
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I agree with stocking stuff at her house.

1] during a small situation [blizzard] she might learn the use of it.

2] if a BIG situation happens she probably won't acknowledge such [normalcy bias] and eat/drink that stuff for however long.

3]if she acknowledges a BIG situation, you make sure she knows to pack all of that and everything else she has/wants till her car is stuffed. [don't how big a vehicle she drives] pillows, sheets, blankets, all her clothes and shoes, knicknacks, pictures, laptop, pots and pans, tools from the garage, soap, laundry detrigent, meds and stuff in medicine chest, batteries, etc. etc.

If she has a pet, I suggest you prep for that first because she might see the importance of that first.

Second, I agree with synper708 to tell her it is for you and yours should you have to go to her place [hey, put some kids clothes they've grown out of in too]. And you never know, you might have to go there. No one knows what is going to happen.

Now, ask yourself a question. Does she keep enough gas in her car to even get to your place?


*****
If she doesn't have a charcoal or gas grill -- plan summer picnic at her place and leave an old small one there after you finish cooking the hamburgers -- for 'next time'.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:36 AM
eyepal eyepal is offline
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"One Second After" might drive your point home to her, BUT I'd go one step further and INSIST she either start prepping or set aside an amount weekly/monthly for you to prep for her (whatever she can reasonably afford). Then get in the habit of asking her "what have you prep for this week (month)? Or if she's paying you, let her know what you've done in preps.
Either way, DON'T let the issue of prepping drop. I'd venture to think she's not taking you serious and she may not fully understand what's really going on in todays world. Mothers are like that sometimes, we often think things are not very important when they really might be. It's sort of a coping mechanism when dealing with children in their growing years, lol.
I consider myself savvy in today's times, but even I can't keep up with everything IMO, One Second After is a real eye opener. Unless she's an airhead, I think she'll see the light. Don't be surprised when the questions might start. Get the book.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:40 AM
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merlinfire merlinfire is offline
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at least in my case, i would say that i owe my parents to let them join me.

personally in your situation i'd just try to prep enough to include her. i don't know your situation or the relationship you have with your mother. but the woman gave birth to you, maybe you do owe her this.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:40 AM
MattB4 MattB4 is offline
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Your mom is only 49 years old? Single with a great job you say? You could send her to my place. I run a boarding house for needy young women.
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