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View Poll Results: would you take the last name?
Yes 16 16.49%
No 81 83.51%
Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-24-2020, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by KoolAde2 View Post
considering I don't know who my real Father is and the name on my Birth Record is a Loser who dumps me at the age of 4 at an Orphanage Sure why not and the last time I saw him was in Prison at age 6. The name I have isn't really any legacy to live for.

My mother found us the day before we were going to be turned over to the state.
Ouch, I am sorry to hear that. While my father may not have been father of the year all the time, he was there and taught me a lot. I hope things turned out well for you with your mom.
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Old 05-24-2020, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by hawk55732 View Post
If you would feel emasculated by taking your wifes last name then keeping your own name isn't going to help. Your already there.
Being relegated as being less of a man with respect to both traditional and societal norms, is enough for most.

As I stated, the future SIL must not mind.
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Old 05-24-2020, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Sockpuppet View Post
Being relegated as being less of a man with respect to both traditional and societal norms, is enough for most.

As I stated, the future SIL must not mind.
I don't mean this as an insult but the men you know must be very weak if a change of their last name makes them feel less manly.
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Old 05-24-2020, 12:00 PM
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I voted yes. It would depend on the circumstances, but I would have no problem taking her last name. Women taking the man's last name is just a tradition. There's a lot of things I don't follow. Symbolism and tradition are among them. So it wouldn't matter much one way or another to me.
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Old 05-24-2020, 12:01 PM
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I do agree with you Mike that it would depend on the circumstances. From the way I was reading this the guy had known the family for years. The guy was pretty much a son to the FIL.
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Old 05-24-2020, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by hawk55732 View Post
I don't mean this as an insult but the men you know must be very weak if a change of their last name makes them feel less manly.
No, they're not weak, though they do embrace traditional values...as does their respective families. Homosexuality, cowardice, dishonesty...dishonorable behavior in general, are all in keeping with such traditional beliefs as well.

If not keeping your name isn't emasculating for you, is there anything that you would consider to be emasculating?
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Old 05-24-2020, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Sockpuppet View Post
No, they're not weak, though they do embrace traditional values...as does their respective families. Homosexuality, cowardice, dishonesty...dishonorable behavior in general, are all in keeping with such traditional beliefs as well.

If not keeping your name isn't emasculating for you, is there anything that you would consider to be emasculating?
Not really. I am who I am and I try not to let outside circumstances influence that.
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Old 05-24-2020, 03:16 PM
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remember that guy from a few years back?

Joey Buttafuoco?

if you're last name is an object of mockery or derision, why not?
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Old 05-24-2020, 03:47 PM
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A man who doesn’t keep his name is not a man. Liberal BS reasoning doesn’t change that.
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Old 05-24-2020, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Pol View Post
A man who doesn’t keep his name is not a man. Liberal BS reasoning doesn’t change that.
What makes you think this? Does a women who doesn't keep her name make her less of a women? How about when a kid changes his name because his mom remarries or he is adopted. Is not longer able to be a man?
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Old 05-24-2020, 04:35 PM
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WOULD I change my name to Crock, Gates, Getty, Rockefeller, Kennedy, Trump, even Soros... you bet.
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Old 05-24-2020, 04:42 PM
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You can always change your name again later.
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Old 05-24-2020, 04:50 PM
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I vote no because that is the way it is supposed to be. It sounds like some might be trying to justify thier own decision. Of course, I was thinking the same as NW Guy .
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Old 05-24-2020, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by hawk55732 View Post
What makes you think this? Does a women who doesn't keep her name make her less of a women? How about when a kid changes his name because his mom remarries or he is adopted. Is not longer able to be a man?
I suppose that there is a certain Western expectation associated with a man carrying on his family name, along with the same expectation that a married woman to change her name. I also suppose that the passages found in Mark 10:8, Genesis 2:24, and Ephesians 5:23, contribute to the Judeo-Christian perspective that a woman joining the man to begin their own family.

A child's feelings of belonging, however, are more important than a name.
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk55732 View Post
Saw this on another place and thought it was and interesting question. This guy is getting married. His future FIL owns a good business that the guy helps with and is interested in. The FIL wants to turn the business over to the guy on the condition that the guy takes the FIL last name. The reason is that the FIL is the last one in his family to have the last name and he has no other daughters and he wants to continue.

Would you be willing to take the last name?
Apparently I didn't explain it well, so I'll make another attempt:

Note the words above.

If I had a crummy childhood, no parents family etc and someone I looked at as a father figure offered/asked to "adopt" me as an adult no strings attached:

I'd consider it, out of love and respect.

This joker is saying: "I'll pay you to build my ego"

I could kinda see:
"Once you have my first grandchild" I'll set you up with business ownership.
That's building a multigenerational legacy, Regardless of the name.

But:
1. Even If my name dies with me I respect my parents too much.
2. This is a red flag for the relationship. Unless my wife to be supported me I'd have serious issues with what I was signing up for. Not because of the name, it's a symptom of what would be a larger problem.

One of the 2 women I came close to marrying:
Her parents were serious not-fans of mine (literally every other girl I've dated their parents LOVED me.)
Meh, it didn't really bother me, but I WORKED at not being a kiss ass, but being someone they would like to see with their daughter.

She told me her mom (they talked almost every day...another red flag) ran me down CONSTANTLY. (I made more money than her, had a college degree where She didn't, cleancut, went to the same denomination of church... None of the 'typical reasons' applied.)
-she had bad things to say about her family and their treatment of me years later.

But it added stressors to the relationship that I believe contributed to us breaking up.

I wouldn't do it and I DEFINITELY would NOT work for this man. It's only the start of his controlling demands, not the end.
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:24 PM
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why in hell would I want a new wife. it took me years to get rid of the last 2
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomad, 2nd View Post
...It's only the start of his controlling demands, not the end.
This was my initial thought upon it as well.
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:34 PM
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I also said yes.

Its not what happened when I got married.

But I'm not categorically against it.

I would NOT change it in the proposed example in the OP.

It would depend on if I felt I was leaving my family to join her's, or vis versa.

Just because the FIL wants me too is not good enough, and a red flag for the whole operation.
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Old 05-24-2020, 09:26 PM
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Nope. As the man, I am supposed to be the head of the house, and so my name will be on it.

If I took over the business, I’d leave it named as is.
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Old 05-24-2020, 09:42 PM
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Not sure I want to be known as ****sucker Smith, that is her burden to bear.
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