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Old 11-25-2019, 06:10 PM
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I used to love the holidays!!! Now, not so much. I think a lot of it has to do with life and my BS tolerance over time. I moved back to VA to help my brother care for my Mom and give him a break from time to time. That usually means I'll watch her for a few days over the holidays. My family is spread out over the country, and kids are usually doing their own thing or with ex's family. I'm welcome at individual ex-relative's houses, but my presence at an entire family gathering would be a distraction. The first real test of that will be at oldest daughter's wedding in Feb 2020.

I do need to start going back to church in general, not just over the holidays. That'll be something to aim for.

Maybe other people's lives are like a Hallmark Christmas show, but I'd bet not many...LOL. My life is more like that of Christmas Vacation's Clark Griswold and I'm most like "Cousin Eddie...****ter's full!" hehehe. That reminds me...after T-day, time to start up the classic movie collection watching...because after all...Bumbles Bounce!

After typing all this, it makes me realize I do have many things for which to be thankful!!! Thanks Sonya.

That's what it's all about.

I can relate!! I have a sister in Pennsylvania; one in Missouri; one in Arizona; one in southern California; and a brother in northern California. Only one sister has anything to do with me and that's the way I like it.


I take that back ... I do wish that we had a close family but as long as they've all decided to hold on to the past and the bitter feelings and the feelings of resentment then I really need not trouble myself with them. I do pray for them.


I, too, really need to get back to church but I just don't trust most of them. They either teach false doctrine or beg for money to maintain their cushy lifestyle. I'm just looking for a down-to-earth, Bible only church that teaches directly from the King James. Pretty impossible to find these days.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:13 PM
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And I too am sorry to hear about your loss as well my friend. I use to my advantage though, it reminds me to remember to let those that you love know it and never take them for granted. Because you never know when the last time yo will see that loved one. I was lucky though, two days before he died I knew he was having problems and he and I hung out that day. I bought a 6 pack of budweiser longnecks and gave him 3 and I drank 3. While we were talking I got to tell him that he was my brother and I loved him and that if he ever needed anything all he had to do was ask. He told me that he appreciated it and drove off. 2 days later his wife had him murdered by people who she was involved with in dealing drugs. So I guess I now know what was bugging him, he was planning on leaving her and she killed him for it.
That's terrible. I have a friend who's sister got murdered by an ex boyfriend. She has to go to every parole hearing to keep him in prison. Hope he stays there forever. Did the wife go to prison?
And that almost happened to me once but he only managed to put me in the hospital
too many *******s out there
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:32 PM
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That's terrible. I have a friend who's sister got murdered by an ex boyfriend. She has to go to every parole hearing to keep him in prison. Hope he stays there forever. Did the wife go to prison?
And that almost happened to me once but he only managed to put me in the hospital
too many *******s out there
No she didn't go. She was a confidential informant for or Sheriff's department and the matter was labeled as a suicide. But I have heard with my own ears her threatening a store clerk and she did not know I was at the back of the store. She told the clerk " You son of a bitch, I killed my husband so what the F**k makes you think I won't kill you." When she said that all of my friends had to hold me back so she could get away, I was going to go snap her neck and end it right there. What the real kicker is that I would have waited right there for the police to take me into custody for killing her because to me it would have been worth the prison time.


As a side note I would like to let the moderators know that I am not trying to intentionally bypass the filter with the way I wrote that, but I felt it was important to convey exactly what words were used. So if this violates the rules I sincerely apologize.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:36 PM
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And I too am sorry to hear about your loss as well my friend. I use to my advantage though, it reminds me to remember to let those that you love know it and never take them for granted. Because you never know when the last time yo will see that loved one. I was lucky though, two days before he died I knew he was having problems and he and I hung out that day. I bought a 6 pack of budweiser longnecks and gave him 3 and I drank 3. While we were talking I got to tell him that he was my brother and I loved him and that if he ever needed anything all he had to do was ask. He told me that he appreciated it and drove off. 2 days later his wife had him murdered by people who she was involved with in dealing drugs. So I guess I now know what was bugging him, he was planning on leaving her and she killed him for it.
Man ... that's heavy duty!! I'm glad you got to have some good, quality time before he was taken from this earth.

My brother had no vices except for the fact that he loved fast cars and motorcycles. He had recently found out that his beautiful, trophy wife was seeing another man. So he was doing what he could to cope with it. He decided to take his Kawasaki 1100 out for a spin one warm, summer day. He came across two Marines on Honda road bikes so they all decided to race through the winding, Orange Hills of southern California. According to the marines, he left them in the dust and rounded a curve. As they attempted to catch up they could see that the inertia of his speed had forced him into the wrong lane just as a vehicle was approaching. He overcompensated and went further to the left to avoid the oncoming car. He hit one of those reflector posts and went end-over-end for about 300 yards. My brother-in-law had to identify him but said it was nearly impossible.

Anyway ... that was back in the mid 80s but I still miss him. He was the oldest sibling while I am second to the youngest (out of 8 brothers and sisters). But he always took an interest in my experiences and feelings and would give me good, brotherly advice.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:50 PM
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Wow Ghost, that's some crap!
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:59 PM
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I love the holidays, but it hasn't been working out lately.

We used to have a good place we'd usually go for Thanksgiving-- a relatively conservative family, the wife was very into cooking, very nice home in a beautiful, rural location. Now, we don't get along with them as much, and it's no longer easy to visit somebody.

I'm at odds now with some people who are going to come here. I'm going to try snowboarding on Thanksgiving, and I'm going snowboarding for 5 or 6 days during Christmas. That's all great, but I didn't get the hotel I wanted, which is annoying. Hopefully the other one won't be that bad. Also maybe going shooting or going on an ATV ride.

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Christmas we usually go skiing ( hey, it's our tradition) if there is snow somewhere. We did last year , it was awesome. This year I injured myself and while walking and functioning, there is no way I am skiing, neither is husband who wiped out last time we skied and hurt his knee, and has decided he is too old for this. So, I am sort of totally not looking forward to the holidays this year. We used to go to church Christmas Eve but now we don't anymore.
That's too bad, Sonya, but there will likely always be something better once again at some point down the line.
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:59 PM
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Man ... that's heavy duty!! I'm glad you got to have some good, quality time before he was taken from this earth.

My brother had no vices except for the fact that he loved fast cars and motorcycles. He had recently found out that his beautiful, trophy wife was seeing another man. So he was doing what he could to cope with it. He decided to take his Kawasaki 1100 out for a spin one warm, summer day. He came across two Marines on Honda road bikes so they all decided to race through the winding, Orange Hills of southern California. According to the marines, he left them in the dust and rounded a curve. As they attempted to catch up they could see that the inertia of his speed had forced him into the wrong lane just as a vehicle was approaching. He overcompensated and went further to the left to avoid the oncoming car. He hit one of those reflector posts and went end-over-end for about 300 yards. My brother-in-law had to identify him but said it was nearly impossible.

Anyway ... that was back in the mid 80s but I still miss him. He was the oldest sibling while I am second to the youngest (out of 8 brothers and sisters). But he always took an interest in my experiences and feelings and would give me good, brotherly advice.
I'm sorry. It always is devastating when you lose someone you love in such a tragic way. It is one thing if you know in advance that they are going to die such as if they had cancer or something but to get blindsided is beyond description. Things like this is something that you will never get over but at least with time we can learn to cope with it.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:14 PM
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I love the holidays, but it hasn't been working out lately.

That's too bad, Sonya, but there will likely always be something better once again at some point down the line.
No, not very likely. I doubt my foot will ever be good enough again to ski, and even if it is, I think I might be too worried to hurt myself now to do it ( I never hurt myself skiing and been doing it since I was a kid) . I am not getting any younger and will just have to deal with it.

Hope your holidays work out! If you are going with your family, try renting a private house or apartment near the ski area. It's much cheaper than staying at a resort and nicer usually, plus you have a kitchen. Our kids snowboard. I tried once and failed miserably. It's very different from skiing.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:20 PM
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LOL! We must be related! My family can't be in the same room and behave...

I used to Host the family get togethers and my house was Switzerland for a while...Ultimately, I moved to another state so they are no longer a problem.
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Old 11-25-2019, 07:23 PM
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Well this year's going to be a lot different, first of all I retired in July and love it, 2nd I don't have to drive 130 miles one way on holidays to be with my 2 sister's they have moved back where we grew up, only 7 miles from my house, that's going to be sweet.

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Old 11-25-2019, 07:39 PM
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No, not very likely. I doubt my foot will ever be good enough again to ski, and even if it is, I think I might be too worried to hurt myself now to do it ( I never hurt myself skiing and been doing it since I was a kid) . I am not getting any younger and will just have to deal with it.
That's awful. I hope something else in your life, maybe something new, will make you happy.

I'm getting a little old. For now, I can snowboard, but there are other things I used to do, that I want to do, but I can't do anymore.

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Hope your holidays work out! If you are going with your family, try renting a private house or apartment near the ski area. It's much cheaper than staying at a resort and nicer usually, plus you have a kitchen. Our kids snowboard. I tried once and failed miserably. It's very different from skiing.
Thanks. I'll have to look around.

I've only been snowboarding for a few years. I thought it was really puzzling at first. I've finally gotten to the point where I'm not really rusty at the beginning of the season. That's what it was like on the first day of the last season. I just had my first day of the season a few days ago, and this time as well, I was only feeling a little rusty. So I'm really pleased with it, and finally feel like a real snowboarder.

I'm therefore hoping for a great season. But I have my own kind of serious problem-- someone very close to me was just in the hospital with a heart problem. So I'm warily optimistic.
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Old 11-25-2019, 08:00 PM
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Seeing my aunt Thursday. We get on pretty well.

Christmas I may see her again, it depends. The neighbors have a very loud, drunken, all night Christmas eve party which is apparently a tradition in Mexico. They live in America but think the best way to celebrate peace on earth is to keep all their neighbors up all night for blocks, all night long. Last night they had some butthead on a megaphone yelling at 3 AM. So not a fan of Christmas these days.
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Old 11-25-2019, 08:27 PM
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I love them. I took my father's advice "you marry the entire family" VERY seriously. Everyone gets along, 20 years and I have never seen a fight. We all live close and routinely have potlucks, picnics and pizza nights together throughout the year.
We will start early and weather permitting play horseshoes or dominoes while we get the feast ready. We eat at noon and just like at grandmas house, some of us will probably take a nap on the floor in the afternoon and we will all eat again before we fully clear the table.
We all look forward to it, every year.


That sounds like the "traditional" America we on the right are trying to preserve.

I have a big noisy extended family and it's sometimes hard to get everybody together due to people's jobs. A lot of them are public servants who work on holidays. There's lots of kids, babies, football (the men), woman talk (the women), pumpkin pie later and then we help clean up and head home having eaten WAY too much. I think I'm the least religious one in the family but that doesn't matter.

Just me and my siblings get together on Christmas to exchange gifts. Then it's done. The tree comes down before New Years and then we are wishing for spring. I do most of my Christmas shopping online or at Costco so that's pretty easy. I avoid the city and crowds and driving so that eliminates most stress. I used to dread the holidays, now not so much. I miss my folks and wish I had them back so I could thank them for all the wonderful holidays they gave to me.

===

It's going to be a white Thanksgiving this year with several storms lined up for this week. I had to plow about 4" off the drive today. The ski resorts will be happy. I don't ski anymore and don't really miss it but I took up snowshoeing last year and it gets me out of the house for zero cost.
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Old 11-25-2019, 08:45 PM
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I am looking forward to it. Want my kids to enjoy the same excitement and fun I had at their age. Enjoy having family visit and all the food and drinks.

Put the politics aside. Family first. Set the example.
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Old 11-25-2019, 09:47 PM
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It's a holiday, no reason to get scared.
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Old 11-25-2019, 09:52 PM
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The Holiday have come to be nothing to me, just another day.
Too over hyped and commercialized. Too many unrealistic demands.
I would honestly enjoy them more if I could get away by myself.

The only thing I do enjoy is the time off work.
A bad day off is better than the best day at work !
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Old 11-26-2019, 12:19 AM
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Church on Christmas Eve is very moving, but I haven't done that in many years.

There are actually a lot of ways my holidays are worse than they used to be. I'm trying to remain very level-headed about it, though, and hoping that somehow things will clear up, and a few years down the line the holidays will start being a lot better again.

For now, my guiding principle is just to try to find the simplest way to make them as good as possible. I'm not going to risk anything that could turn into a Griswold family Christmas.

I've usually been avoiding Black Friday, but this year, I think I'm going to try to go just as soon as the mall opens, and only be there for a short time.
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Old 11-26-2019, 06:50 PM
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That's awful. I hope something else in your life, maybe something new, will make you happy.

I'm getting a little old. For now, I can snowboard, but there are other things I used to do, that I want to do, but I can't do anymore.



I'm therefore hoping for a great season. But I have my own kind of serious problem-- someone very close to me was just in the hospital with a heart problem. So I'm warily optimistic.
I am pretty happy living on our farm doing as I wish. It's just the skiing for Christmas that has to stop. But, it's one day out of the year, not that big of a deal. We used to go on a 1-2 week trip to ski , so it's not all that much time. But it is aggrevating that we finally live driving distance from a ski area and I only got to enjoy it for 3 years...oh well

Hope your friend survives but be prepared. My best friend died from a heart attack this year after surgery. He died 3 weeks after bypass surgery and it was very unexpected to me. If I had known he was not going to recover I would have visited him one more time.

Plus things are looking up for Thanksgiving! I think...daughter is coming after all most likely, just late, and bringing a new boyfriend. We will see how all that goes.
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Old 11-26-2019, 06:57 PM
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Church on Christmas Eve is very moving, but I haven't done that in many years.

There are actually a lot of ways my holidays are worse than they used to be. I'm trying to remain very level-headed about it, though, and hoping that somehow things will clear up, and a few years down the line the holidays will start being a lot better again.

For now, my guiding principle is just to try to find the simplest way to make them as good as possible. I'm not going to risk anything that could turn into a Griswold family Christmas.

I've usually been avoiding Black Friday, but this year, I think I'm going to try to go just as soon as the mall opens, and only be there for a short time.
We did Black Friday once, in Florida, many years ago. We got up at 3 AM and stood in line. I will NEVER NEVER EVER EVER do that again!!! I think I would rather go fight a war in Afghanistan

We used to go to church Christmas Eve at a large ,old, Anglican/Episcopal cathedral church in Orlando. This was pretty awesome, complete with Bishop and incense, procession, and a 2 hour long church service with an awesome choir. There is nothing like that anywhere driving distance from us now, and I just can't get into the type of churches around here. They don't even do communion.

I hope your holidays improve ! But if not , just try to think it's only a few days out of the year, not that big a deal. I hope I didn't make anyone depressed posting this thread
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Old 11-26-2019, 07:00 PM
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The Holiday have come to be nothing to me, just another day.
Too over hyped and commercialized. Too many unrealistic demands.
I would honestly enjoy them more if I could get away by myself.

The only thing I do enjoy is the time off work.
A bad day off is better than the best day at work !
I used to feel like that too, until I became a farmer. Now a bad day at work is better than a vacation trip stuck in traffic or at the airport for example.
You need a new job!!
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