Survivalist Forum

Advertise Here

Go Back   Survivalist Forum > Survival & Preparedness Forum > Ladies Section
Articles Chat Room Classifieds Donations Gallery Groups Links Store Survival Files



Ladies Section The Girlvivalists Hangout Area.

Advertise Here
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-24-2008, 06:35 PM
BuckBall's Avatar
BuckBall BuckBall is offline
Woman Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 794
Thanked 1,422 Times in 491 Posts
Default What do you look for in a spouse, including skills?



Advertise Here

I spent most of last evening talking to a friend in Germany. Jorg, a psychoanalyst and former survival instructor has known me for a good part of 20 years. In that time he has come to analyze me pretty good. Anyways, we were talking about relationships both pre and post survival, and what skills does a woman look for in a man and what draws her to him?

As it turned out, as soon as I mentioned relationships to him, he busted a gut laughing. Only being in 4 relationships in my 40 years that lasted weeks, he come to learn this is a wee bit odd for me since I am rough around the edges and have no skills with females on any level. After a handful of questions he found out I was smitten by a lady who I enjoyed greatly. She had a beautiful heart, intelligent mind, was very self reliant, daring, adventurous, and quite attractive. I often do not meet a woman who I find interesting. However, this special someone got me to thinking (after things went south) about some things and well, I'm looking to improve myself I guess by getting ideas of what you ladies and gentleman (who come to visit this thread) look for in a spouse and what skills that attract you?

Last edited by BuckBall; 05-24-2008 at 07:20 PM..
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BuckBall For This Useful Post:
Old 05-24-2008, 10:15 PM
Lamb Lamb is offline
Permanently gone
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,720
Thanks: 2,196
Thanked 3,690 Times in 1,018 Posts
Default

I thought it was done and over for me until I met my darlin' man....
I never thought I would EVER meet someone that had all the aspects of skills and personality he has.
I wasn't looking, but if I had been and had to make a list, here's the skills and personality:
Gun nut. Gotta be a hard core member of the *gun culture*
Hunting skills. I'm an omnivore, I want my fella to be able to help put meat on the table!
Self-Discipline. No addictions to drugs or alcohol, gambling, etc.
Politically Aware. he has to know what is going on.
Good Sense of Humor.He's gotta deal with ME!
Physically fit. I am not ready to be a nursemaid to a 54 yr old guy that didn't take care of himself in the past so now his only strenuous activity is finding the tv remote!
Loyal Had a cheating man before. Don't want another.
Younger than me.Yup, I came right out and said it. Men my own age and older do not interest me. They are usually self-indulgent, lazy and have no interest in getting out and about to go camping, hiking, etc. My darlin' man is 15 years my junior.He likes older women, I like younger men. It works!
Sexually Compatible Came right out and said that too. I still have a healthy interest in sex, I would expect my fella to have the same.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lamb For This Useful Post:
Old 05-24-2008, 10:55 PM
BuckBall's Avatar
BuckBall BuckBall is offline
Woman Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 794
Thanked 1,422 Times in 491 Posts
Default

What brought this no experience on is that I did 15 years in the military and stayed on that track for such a long time, I neglected relationships all together. When my mates would go out partying, I'd stay behind and focus on life in the barracks and what I would be doing the next day. Having to go away on missions around the world, this just helped me to harden my heart and what I call "desensitized" my emotions and thought process. This in turn has made it next to impossible for anyone to get inside of me, as they may not enjoy seeing what the secrets of the depth will reveal.
Old 05-24-2008, 11:44 PM
survivalmom survivalmom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 83
Thanks: 78
Thanked 125 Times in 28 Posts
Default

Well, I found a good match with my husband. I want a partner who has skills that I don't have. I can cook,sew,teach children, do laundry, I'm pretty decent with a gun, I can and store food, put up fences, drive and plow with horses, and I have decent animal husbandry skills. My spouse has different skills-he is excellent with a gun, he can hunt, he farms, he butchers our animals, he has a green thumb,he can identify wild plants, he can make shelters, make rope from yucca (and various things) he can make clay pots....physically fit, strong mind, he keeps me laughing, and most of all he loves me and our children and would do anything for us.

I think his calm demeanor and his sense of humor would be his greatest assets in a SHTF scenario....I tend to be more "uptight"...so we are opposites in many ways-and it makes a good fit.
Old 05-24-2008, 11:51 PM
VW.'s Avatar
VW. VW. is offline
Curious Cat
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ocean Park, Washington State
Posts: 415
Thanks: 862
Thanked 420 Times in 172 Posts
Default

A willingness to put up with me is pretty much my only criteria.
VW
Old 05-25-2008, 12:43 AM
TENNGRIZZ TENNGRIZZ is offline
Survivor
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: IN TRANSITION
Posts: 2,094
Thanks: 45,034
Thanked 2,605 Times in 1,040 Posts
Default

My princess must like Junk yard dogs.
Old 05-25-2008, 01:28 AM
wynturmute's Avatar
wynturmute wynturmute is offline
(not a) One Man Army...
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,034
Thanks: 1,055
Thanked 503 Times in 271 Posts
Default

honesty and intelligence
we can learn the rest together...

Last edited by wynturmute; 05-25-2008 at 01:29 AM.. Reason: spelling
The Following User Says Thank You to wynturmute For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 03:17 AM
Surfer Jesus's Avatar
Surfer Jesus Surfer Jesus is offline
Bleeding heart tree lover
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 153
Thanks: 97
Thanked 134 Times in 68 Posts
Default

mine is the one that no one else seems to like except me. I love the super small petite badass don't mess with me types for some wierd reason. Lucky me, i found one that has an attittude with everyone except me.
Old 05-25-2008, 01:26 PM
bug-out-betty bug-out-betty is offline
I love this forum
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Upstate NY
Age: 33
Posts: 906
Thanks: 288
Thanked 937 Times in 364 Posts
Default

I would have to say Honesty and Respect. I've been in an abusive marriage with a guy who only cared about himself. I was young and im sure in the beginning I truly Loved him and without him I wouldn't have my little guy. But then after leaving and getting divorced I bounced around for a few years. I wasn't looking when I found my man. But im glad we found eachother. Our beliefs are the same. We like the same foods (mostly). That makes it easy to cook. Im a housewife so what I need for him is to do the things I can't. Im sure I could shoot a dear but it would be up to him to do it as the man of the house. And I only ask that he chops the trees down for wood and splits them up. The rest I can do. I tend to the garden, cook, clean, laundry..you name it. So as long as he provides were both happy. Its just the way it is. We both love our animals which was another important thing. I don't know...it just works for us. We whole heartedly love eachother and do the roles we have set out for ourselves. Making this home a happy place. In a SHTF scenario..All I need from him is protection!
Old 05-25-2008, 01:53 PM
BuckBall's Avatar
BuckBall BuckBall is offline
Woman Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 794
Thanked 1,422 Times in 491 Posts
Default

I appreciate you all coming by and putting down some much needed input. It's really not that hard to figure out what everyone needs as each person has a different need, but still in the same lines of hunting, hauling wood, attitudes and so forth. Looks like I have some major work ahead of me...but that is quite alright as I do need to change a few things and guess what...this board is actually making me see the light LOL Good thing I'm not a marriage counselor...as I don't think couples would last with me in the picture
Old 05-25-2008, 04:33 PM
Mama Bear's Avatar
Mama Bear Mama Bear is offline
Survivor
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,263
Thanks: 3,280
Thanked 3,210 Times in 1,631 Posts
Default

... Quite frankly, I married my mate because he was the only male who had the strength to not take my ****. And- I really dig the tall thing... (He's 6'8") Very stable, mellow, practical... And very easygoing. He's cool with doing his thing, and letting me do mine and it works well for us.
The Following User Says Thank You to Mama Bear For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 05:34 PM
4giv3n1's Avatar
4giv3n1 4giv3n1 is offline
I am His Willing Servant
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Indiana
Age: 34
Posts: 1,850
Thanks: 2,197
Thanked 2,208 Times in 920 Posts
Default

Ok, there are a few things that I looked for in a mate:

He must be honest with me. Faithfulness falls under this category for me as well. I do not want my man looking at other women when I am with him. Sure, men will glance, but to me gawking at a women when I am with him is not acceptable. If he feels he isn't getting enough at home, I expect him to initiate with me.

He must have good communication skills. One thing I told my husband is that if he doesn't have open communication with me, then we weren't going to work. From the beginning, if there was something that bothered me bad enough that I could not let it go, I would talk to him about it. He did the same with me. This turned out to be very beneficial in our dating as well as our marriage.

He cannot be controlling or abusive. I already had one bad marriage. My ex would slap me or push me if he got angry or frustrated. He wouldn't let me use the car to see my girlfriends (even if he didn't need the car that night). He would not let me have any access to the money (my name wasn't even on the account). There were more things than this that pushed me to divorce. I cannot take an abusive or controlling man. I needed a man who was strong but also sensitive to me. If he is not sensitive to me and my needs/desires, then I know it won't work.

He must be willing to be the man of the house but still treat me as his partner--not his servant. I need him to be willing to support a family (letting me stay home with my children when we start a family). I need him to take care of the safety of the family. I need him to be man enough to say where he needs me to take control (ie: in our circumstance, it is the finances). I want him to hear what I have to say on important issues before acting rashly.

Finally, I needed to have someone I connected with on three different levels: physical, spiritual, mental. Physically I needed to be attracted to him. Spiritually we needed to have beliefs that connected on major issues that I am concerned with. Mentally, I needed someone that I could sit with for 3 hrs or 30 years and still be able to have an interesting and intelligent conversation with. This is probably the single most important thing when looking for a mate. If you connect on these three levels, you should be able to work on the rest easily.
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 4giv3n1 For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 06:12 PM
PrepLady PrepLady is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Port St. Lucie, FL
Posts: 45
Thanks: 0
Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts
Default

I want a real guy. (I love Brad Paisley's song "I'm Still a Guy"--hilarious!) My first husband was emotionally abusive; very macho, but rude. Second husband was "sensitive". Ugh. I lost respect for him quickly--too wishy-washy. If I wanted to marry someone sensitive, I could just as well "bat for the other team"! So a real man who's not rude would be great.

I want someone likeminded--someone who wants to live this lifestyle. Someone who wants to eventually build a retreat (future home) in the mountains. Someone who wants to help me raise my daughter.

He's gotta be intelligent. Able to work around the house, or willing to learn. A quick thinker. Loves to learn new things. Loves to read. Interested in developing primitive skills. Including some very primitive skills, if ya know what I mean! (Yes, I do still have a pulse!)

I enjoy pro and college football, college basketball, and NASCAR. Also golf, if Tiger Woods is playing. I don't participate in sports--I'm not good at athletic things at all--but I do like to go for walks.

There's more, but that's a start. Good luck to all who are looking for someone special. I haven't found anyone even remotely interesting around here, but I haven't given up yet!
The Following User Says Thank You to PrepLady For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 06:40 PM
BuckBall's Avatar
BuckBall BuckBall is offline
Woman Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 794
Thanked 1,422 Times in 491 Posts
Default

Nice to see a new face for a change Thank you for the post PrepLady...in time I know you will find what you seek (thats the counselor in me talking lol). It is eye opening for me since I don't feel like a lost soul amongst the married ladies here I do though wish you the best of luck finding who you search for.
Old 05-25-2008, 08:56 PM
coastalmist's Avatar
coastalmist coastalmist is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Pacific NW Oregon
Posts: 191
Thanks: 397
Thanked 162 Times in 75 Posts
Default

When I first met my husband, he was a very intimidating looking guy to me. He had long hair, tatoo's, just kind of wild looking. I was a farm girl from Iowa, just moved to Portland, OR. He was helping my new roommate move her furniture into our apartment (I didn't know her real well at the time, but we both needed a roommate.) I remember thinking to myself, what in the h*** have you gotten yourself into Trace??? Too make a long story short, we got married 10 months later and here we are 20 years later. We have always been self employed ( we had a tree service- landscape business for 15 years, and worked together every day.) We work on our properties together, we do just about everything him and I and the kids. We don't go out and party or socialize much, we both like to work and spend time together and with our kids. We both look back and laugh because I certainly didn't fit his "typical brainless barbie" either. I can't think of anything he can't do (with my assistance of course). Best of luck to you, and don't look to hard.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to coastalmist For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 09:08 PM
coastalmist's Avatar
coastalmist coastalmist is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Pacific NW Oregon
Posts: 191
Thanks: 397
Thanked 162 Times in 75 Posts
Default

When I first met my husband, he was a very intimidating looking guy to me. He had long hair, tatoo's, just kind of wild looking. I was a farm girl from Iowa, just moved to Portland, OR. He was helping my new roommate move her furniture into our apartment (I didn't know her real well at the time, but we both needed a roommate.) I remember thinking to myself, what in the h*** have you gotten yourself into Trace??? Too make a long story short, we got married 10 months later and here we are 20 years later. We have always been self employed ( we had a tree service- landscape business for 15 years, and worked together every day.) We work on our properties together, we do just about everything him and I and the kids. We don't go out and party or socialize much, we both like to work and spend time together and with our kids. We both look back and laugh because I certainly didn't fit his "typical brainless barbie" either. I can't think of anything he can't do (with my assistance of course). Best of luck to you, and don't look to hard.
Old 05-25-2008, 10:01 PM
awildchipmunk's Avatar
awildchipmunk awildchipmunk is offline
not a nut
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Montana
Age: 51
Posts: 1,628
Thanks: 4,931
Thanked 1,320 Times in 633 Posts
Default

A fella to share life with, who knows there strengths and weaknesses and is willing to take charge or stand down depending on the situation.
Someone with integrity in there beliefs, and the ability to allow others theres.
Somebody who is honest and caring with the ability to trust there partner, and value there impute.
Must have a sense of humor, some common interest, lively brain cells and a sex drive these are requirements.
The Following User Says Thank You to awildchipmunk For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 10:27 PM
BuckBall's Avatar
BuckBall BuckBall is offline
Woman Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 794
Thanked 1,422 Times in 491 Posts
Default

Okay, am going to attempt to make this fast, as I am dodging severe weather and I already got damage. Unfortunately my requirements are small...must be physically fit. By this I mean she has to not run out of air quickly as I do rock climb, hike, backpack, camp, and try to keep as fit as possible. Another is she has to have a sense of humor and learn to understand British comedy :D Also, her heart has to be true and compassionate. One who doesn't cheat, doesn't sexually flirt (except with me of course), can communicate her thoughts, and can deal with someone who is old fashioned and dominant (not to be confused with domineering). There's more, but the thunder and lightening is getting a tad too close for me to continue...will comment more tomorrow.
Old 05-25-2008, 10:30 PM
Dana Dana is offline
Newbie
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 16
Thanks: 10
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
Default

When I met my husband...I had just left many many years of abuse I met my ex at 14 and left when I was 26 , I'm 35 now . As I posted before I have disabled children.... one of them had just gotten out of the hospital and required feeding via a syringe , 40 ounces a day , through a 10 CC syringe , it takes 30 CCs to make an ounce ... you can do the math is was a huge responsibility for one person who had to deal with other children too.

I had always stayed to the tech side of the net , I am a host and I code in PHP , XHTML etc. My neighbor showed me MSN chatrooms... I went into one about faith looking for moral support. The first person I spoke to was the man who would become my husband.

We spoke for months online and on the phone. He came down ( from Canada , hes legal BTW lol ) for a visit around Christmas time. Because I was so young the first time I was married I didn't think about what I was looking for I only used my heart.... my head was not involved.

This time , we talked for hours on end about what we wanted from life , from a partner and about the children. I couldn't be with a man who could not accept my children , they are a part of me no different than my arm or leg.

From day one he stepped in and was my partner , not my dictator he was there to face what ever may come , right by my side.

We are our own little army in the fight to get services for our children ( he legally adopted the 3 older kids after we were married and we have since had 2 more ) My husband and I were talking one night about knowing who is the right person for you... I think he said it best " When your brand of crazy and the other persons brand of crazy , is the same brand of crazy " .

He is my best friend , he is that thing , that emotion , that thought that escapes words because no word can describe , the indescribable.

Tuesday , is our 6th wedding anniversary .... parents of children on the Autism Spectrum have an 80% divorce rate with one child on the spectrum we have 4 . So each mile stone is another victory for us.

I hope that answered your question a little bit... pardon the mushy
The Following User Says Thank You to Dana For This Useful Post:
Old 05-25-2008, 10:52 PM
hank2222's Avatar
hank2222 hank2222 is offline
Survivor
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,094
Thanks: 11,940
Thanked 2,635 Times in 1,451 Posts
Default

i try to look for someone that has the same ideas that i have
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Kevin Felts 2006 - 2012,
Green theme by http://www.themesbydesign.net