My own date in these tough times

[Mal]

Dating today is an exercise in frustration.

[trainedtosave]

I am 30 and have been on 3 dates in my life. None got past the first. I have a lot going for me, but unless I meet someone I am really interested in, I could care less.

[hawkbern]

What a bitter bunch we are.

[Saberman]

Don't be so hard on yourself you just need to get back in the groove. When you find the right person it will all come naturally. No nerves........ Don't put so much pressure on yourself, you'll make it much harder than it is.....

[AmIJustParanoid?]

Frankly, all you single ladies on here are super hot to me, if nothing else but BECAUSE you are here.

[nightfall]

Yeah, we are quite a bunch, aren't we?

I can be a bit jaded too, though I try real hard not to hold it against other people. I try not to depend on others because most of the time, when I really depend on someone for something, they don't follow through. But as jaded and burned as we all are, some things in life would be easier with someone. It would be nice to find our match in the world... It just seems we have too many things to worry about without putting ourselves out there these days.

We can have a camp full of plutonic single survivalists. Or is that more dangerous?

[hawkbern]

Originally Posted by nightfall

Yeah, we are quite a bunch, aren't we?

I can be a bit jaded too, though I try real hard not to hold it against other people. I try not to depend on others because most of the time, when I really depend on someone for something, they don't follow through. But as jaded and burned as we all are, some things in life would be easier with someone. It would be nice to find our match in the world... It just seems we have too many things to worry about without putting ourselves out there these days.

We can have a camp full of plutonic single survivalists. Or is that more dangerous?

Lol. It's hard to keep stickin' yourself out there, but eventually someone will come along that won't fail you when you depend on them. Some people actually learn from past relationships...I know I have. There has to be a chunk of decent single folks out there. Meeting them is the hard part.

[killzen]

Originally Posted by nightfall

Yeah, we are quite a bunch, aren't we?

I can be a bit jaded too, though I try real hard not to hold it against other people. I try not to depend on others because most of the time, when I really depend on someone for something, they don't follow through. But as jaded and burned as we all are, some things in life would be easier with someone. It would be nice to find our match in the world... It just seems we have too many things to worry about without putting ourselves out there these days.

We can have a camp full of plutonic single survivalists. Or is that more dangerous?

ouch....I think I will still take my chances and leave the jaded to others...maybe I am stupid, but the bottom line is we are social creatures and we depend on others, even if they may disappoint us at times...

[bridgierapa]

All the best Nightfall. I really hope it all goes well for you.

[hawkbern]

I'm sure many of us have been there...

[kemaeli]

Oh ... I feel your pain my dear. I dont think I was made to have many "loves" in life. after my 21 yr old marriage and then the hell I went through with separation and so forth... I was lost (and still feel lost) for a while and was terrified of ending alone with my pets (the 'cat lady" LOLOL) I tried to date but I just can't go out with many dates... I have the problem of wearing my heart of my sleeve and fall in love too easy... therefore my heart has been broken a couple of times. I'm just paranoid right now of falling in love again but also afraid to end up alone... There's so much that my heart can take, it hurts too much and I hate hurting this much, I even lose interest in everything including my own life... yeah... I am one of those weirdos shut-in, chronic depressive and suicidal freaks that needs someone else to feel validated... very sad... oh well... I'm trying not to be that way and my goal is to make it to fifty at least :-) Good luck!

[scorinth]

I hesitate to post an answer but maybe it'd be good for me ... at 19 I married the only fellow I'd ever gone out with (our 'dates' were mostly church for a couple of years, and we weren't in any cult, just very earnest). Before our 10th anniversary he ended his life, after putting me thru several years of literal torment.
I actually came out of that a much stronger and healthier person because I refuse to stay a victim. Kept myself in pretty good shape, very upbeat person, self-supporting, fairly well-read and intelligent, etc! Definitely willing to try again.
Fast forward 25 years. Not. One. Single. Date.
I'm often told that I'm a very good listener (interpret that to mean that I am too quiet for my own good LOL), and it seems no one wants a 'good girl'. I never learned how to be mean like I see my friends are to their husbands who treat them like gold.
I guess the one thing I never learned after all these years is how you all manage to do it...to have dates, relationships (good or bad).
I still haven't given up (told you I was upbeat)...just kind of at a loss at this point

[METALHEAD1]

All I can say nightfall is that you ain't missing much.

To be honest I haven't been on a date in two years. Right after my last engagement to my ex (Satanwoman as I call her) went down in flames, I went out with someone from my class in college. It was a disaster. For one I didn't realize she had just broken up with her violent, chronically unemployed, convicted felon boyfriend. Did I mention he was also a stalker type? We were at a club in Tacoma listening to some bands and the next thing you know I thought I got hit by lightning. Turns out the jerk came up behind me, coldcocked me hard and ran out the freaking door.

The cops showed up, of course he was long gone and his soon to be again current girlfriend was playing dumb. We leave the club, long after the cops have gone donut hunting and just as we were about to get into my truck I heard a screech of tires behind me. Of course it was her psychokiller boyfriend and two of his friends, who proceeded to kick my ass seven ways from Sunday.

Then I met this woman via a internet meat market (Myspace). We hit it off and decided to meet since she was only 250 miles away. The date went great until those six or seven Red Bulls and Vodkas kicked in, and she proceeded to puke all over the dashboard and carpet of my pickup. I debated just kicking her ass out of my truck and leaving her on I-5 but I wanted to avoid Hell later so I took her home. After carrying her to her apartment and attempting a quick exit she regained consciousness, and started talking crying and talking about killing herself, and her abusive past. I ended up spending the night on the floor after taking a fillet knife away from her cause I was pretty sure she was going to actually attempt it.

I met another woman on the net, this time on Tagged (yeah I know I'm stupid) and the date went really good until she admitted she wasn't exactly as single as she let on. Yeah she was married.

After that I totally gave up. I no longer even play the game anymore, and I'm happy being single.

[killzen]

Originally Posted by bridgierapa

I don't think it's so much jaded and bitter as terrified quite frankly. So many things that can go wrong and so many ways for them to go wrong.

I think it would take more guts than I've got to go out there again. But ask me again in five years.

...lol....nah...in 5 years we could all be dead.....

[Genevieve]

aw man! I feel so bad for all of ya's. LOL I haven't dated for 29yrs now. Been married that long.
It sounds awful out there.
Since ya all go to the range to shoot and such, do you think you could meet someone there? How about gun shows? Is there a thread on this board for all the singles to maybe chat or have meet ups/ classes on subjects that everyones interested in? I know on another forum, some of the people in the same area have a once a month meeting to give talks about different subjects they practice in real life. Like dutch oven cooking, or cooking on an open fire, leather tanning, basket weaving, long term storage , dehydrating, small animal raising etc.

I hope it all works out for you guys.
Even way back when, when I was dating, I was just "me". I didn't put on a whole new persona. You either liked me or you didn't. It didn't bother me one or the other. I'm the same way to this day. It's no skin off my nose if I don't act,talk,walk,dress,laugh,eat like you want me to, and you don't care to be around me.

Good Luck to all of you!