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You might be a Survivalist/Prepper IF...

760K views 2K replies 675 participants last post by  Old fart 
#1 ·
You might be a Survivalist/Prepper IF...

- you can spout the location of every mosque, nuclear target, and possible civilian targets in a tri-state area.

- your wife has to remind you to leave the college fund money alone when puchasing "stuff".

- you have more money tied up in your BOV than you do your BOL.

- the local police chief calls you when the have a question about firearms.

- the Fire Department has you on the list as a source of available water during a time of crisis.

- You have enough experience with shaking cans so that you can tell what is in it even when there is no label on it.

- You know 15 ways to preserve meat, but can't answer the question "what's for dinner honey?".

- The aforementioned Fire Department has a map of your house indicating powder and silver storage (think falling safe) locations to be aware of if ever there is a fire.

- You know what a "fan Di-Pole" is and you actually have a six legged one on your property.

- Your three year old learned "the 10" of firearms safety before he even knew how to read.

- Your one year old practices OPSEC.

- You bought diamonds that had nothing to do with making a woman happy.

- You have 3 backups to every resource that enters your home.

- Your will is written so cryptically that the attorney calls it a "Scavenger Hunt".

- You have parts guns that support your backup guns.

- you know that hail and solar panels = SHTF

These are just a few of my own. Feel free to add more, I will as I go along. Some of these might be even more funny if they weren't so true...
 
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#4 ·
My living room furniture consists of cushions set on plywood being held up by full cases of #10 cans.

My dog has a BOB.

I carry underneath my bathrobe.

For Christmas my kids buy me Ball canning jar lids and put them in my stockings. And it makes me happier than all the candy I get.

I named my survival knife.

all my clothing accessories are made from braided paracord.

The kids still think the cat I "rescued" is a pet and not a potential food source.
 
#5 ·
My living room furniture consists of cushions set on plywood being held up by full cases of #10 cans.

My dog has a BOB.

I carry underneath my bathrobe.

For Christmas my kids buy me Ball canning jar lids and put them in my stockings. And it makes me happier than all the candy I get.

I named my survival knife.

all my clothing accessories are made from braided paracord.

The kids still think the cat I "rescued" is a pet and not a potential food source.
Saint....I hope it's in a holster....:eek:
 
#348 ·
The checker at the grocery store tells you "we'll be having a sale on canned goods again next week" do to your buying flats of a dozen cans so often. ( yes it's happened to me).
Edited to add; the conveyer belt at the checkout stand stops because of the weight of all the canned goods you put on it.
OMG!:rofl:
 
#133 ·
You might be a survivalist if...you analyze people based on "skill sets."

You read that “Brady II” would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and thought, “I have more ammo than that in the trunk of my car!”

A good Friday night involves eBay and finding new cases of MREs to bid on.

The cops have ever called Homeland Security after pulling you over.

You have sector sketches and range cards posted by every window in your house.
 
#29 ·
Be a survivalist if....

Someone starts to ask you if you have something and you cut them off mid sentence, with a yes answer, before they name the item.

You walk into a nice place to eat and all you see are the emergency exits.

By the time you sit down at the table in the restuarant you have done a threat level assessment of all patrons.

you walk down aisles that a normal person would avoid, just in case you can find an alternate use for something.

The people at Hobby Lobby ask you where the long pipe cleaners are at.

The people at work bring you coupons and/or flyers for pretty much any sale going on anywhere.

When coworkers describe you to new hires, the phrase "not someone to mess with" comes out in the first few lines, and they don't know why, its just a feeling.

People ask you what the stock market is really doing.

You tell people that gas is about to go up, and it looks like there is a party at the gas station from all of your friends that listened to you.

You get called by someone you know, and get asked how to fix something. Everything they ask, you have a suggestion.

You do favors for neighbors and they pay you in local honey.

Your wife thinks your hobby is collecting food.

The crime in your neighborhood goes down and your neighbors all thank you for it, even though there is no neighborhood watch program.
 
#30 ·
Calling the utility companies only provides information on half the things buried on your property.

You refer to your landscaping as hedgerows and deterrents.

Your son asks you about getting a remote control helicopter, and you immediately think of its ability to transport communications to your neighbors. He mentions that he knows he will have to paint it olive drab or matte black.

You are a fan of colonial houses in Mexico not because of the high ceilings and ornate wooden doors, but because they are constructed of 18-inch stone walls, typically remodeled with poured concrete, have walkable roofs, gravity-fed water cisterns on top, fully-walled backyards, no place for guests/intruders to hide from suppression fire outside.

On Valentine's Day, you buy your wife a stack of dark chocolate bars that slide easily into extra space on your basement shelving units rather than a box of chocolates, muttering about "wasted space" when she questions the choice.

The stockings your kids use at Christmas are either made of Merino wool or have a Goretex waterproofing.

You view family reunions as a chance to standardize ammunition calibers.

The preschool teacher calls you to tell you there is a problem with your kid not sharing with others, claiming the extra toys are needed for redundancy.

You almost convinced your wife that "two is one, and one is none" also applies to women.
 
#33 ·
Your survival trained Marine captain friend wants to be with you if SHTF. TRUE

There are several other friends of both of us who want to be part of our group. TRUE

You have a plan to create shooting lines of fire through your neighbors property.

You can't pass up a good buy on another knife.

You grandsons already have harvested deer and turkeys and they are 8 and 10 years old when they took their first deer. Yes they actually did.

You have war time cook books that substitute a lot of ingredients. YUP

You made a "garbage can oven that hold 350 degrees for hours". Yup, I do!

You have more cast iron cookware than any four families can use. YUP

You have twenty oil lamps, wicks and fuel.

You have 12 volt lamps and bulbs.

You bought an auto loader rifle "just because ............" YUP

Your neighbors like you better than others because they know they may need you if SHTF. YUP

Some men hold the door for you and they don't even know you! You say thank you and they say, "Your welcome sir". That's true to.


You worry how to move all your stores to a new location without arousing suspicion.

Dear wife says, "You need a larger gun safe". TRUE!

Dear wife says, "I haven't been to the range to shoot for a long time". TRUE

DW says, "You can only borrow my shotgun but you can't keep it". TRUE

You never try to sneak in the house late at night. You call her cell and tell her your coming in! If you value your life!

It's all true by the way!
 
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